Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dear Ruby

Wow! what an insane morning....and insane relates to everything about it...not just the amount of work that had to be completed by lunch time. 

This morning I've been up and down an insane emotional roller coaster, teetering on the brink of what i can now call a bit of an emotional meltdown, which finally ended in a flood of tears in the bathroom.  Now let the record reflect, I don't often cry....I've only cried at work twice before...both of those were for valid reasons, bursting into uncontrollable tears for no apparent reason at work is not really my style. 

That being said, sometimes having a good cry is the best medicine in the world.  It serves as an outlet for bottled up emotions and stresses that we don't always realise we have.  For me....crying and admitting that I was emotionally tired and shattered was a good thing.  I'm feeling a million times better, have a genuine smile on my face and it feels like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I've decided to make a list of things that i noticed/learned this morning.  A list i can keep and use to remind myself when i need some reminding.

1.  My eyes go insanely green when I've cried.  Yes, i realise this is totally random and unimportant and i really don't need to remember this point...but i observed it today for the first time.  Some form of beauty in the pain or something i guess.
2.  Being there for friends is very important, but you need to remember that all the energy they sap from you needs to be replaced and the emotional turmoil you absorb needs to find an outlet in your mind....if you don't work through this stuff regularly they do result in little melt downs like this morning
3.  I have an amazing boss.....Upon seeing my teary eyes earlier he gave me a hug and asked if i was OK...he then had the decency to accept my teary smile and nod and go on with our meeting as if having red eyes just happen to be the latest fashion accessory
4.  My best friends are the most awesome beings in the whole entire world.  They love and accept me for who I am.  And regardless of what nonsense may spout forth from my mouth, they just take it all in stride.  Thank you:)
5.  A simple one word sms like, *hugs*, from a friend can have a huge impact on how you're feeling.
6.  I do believe parents are waaaay underrated.  Mine are the absolute best...and a long talk with mommy letters after said melt down did me the world of good.
7.  Try and avoid putting yourself into stressful situations, such as having to move out of your current home by the end of the month while still not having anywhere to go.  That being said....I'm viewing a place that sounds lovely after work today....please please please hold thumbs and pray that it's awesome:)
8.  Bottling up emotions really isn't the wisest course of action....ever.
9.  You need to accept that you can't fix everything.  You can't feed all the hungry people, you can't help every abandoned child, you can't take away the heartache that friends are experiencing....all you can do is be there. 
10.  There are times when my faith and hope are the only things i have to hold on to....I'm grateful for both of these
11.  It's OK to have little meltdowns every now and again, just don't make a habit of it OK?

Anyhoodle...i just wanted to remind you.....You're loved and cared for, and if you're wearing your rubyshoes you can accomplish anything.  Chin up:)

Love

The practical Ruby
xxxxx

8 comments:

Caz said...

Sorry you are feeling so burdened my friend. I know a blog comment "hugs" is not quite the same as an sms, but I would TOTALLY spend the 30c on the sms too if I had your number :D

Thinking of you and hope you're feeling a little stronger now. My remedy for pretty much anything? A bubble bath (crap! I really hope u have one and I'm not just making it worse by suggesting something which is not in fact possible!)

xx

Ruby said...

@Caz - thanx lady:) the comment version of the sms means as much as the one via sms:) it's the thought that touches my heart:) hehe...in fact, i don't have a bath...LOL...let's hope when i finally find a new place it has one so i can follow your advice:) Strangest part is...i can't think of one single thing in my own life that warrants a tear...but it seems with all of them rushing at me together...i just needed let go a bit:) Feeling fine now:)
xxxx

maniacmuerte said...

Getting emotional is very important.

I get very emotional all the time, for example last night cutting onions. Geez I cried a lot.

*hugs*

Ruby said...

@maniacmuerte - LOL...ok, that made me laugh...thanx:) *hugs*

thecoffeebaron said...

Life is a Theatre...
~ Invite Your Audience Carefully~

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life.
There are some people in your life who need to be loved from a DISTANCE.
It is amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of - or minimize
your time with - those draining, negative, incompatible, 'not-going- anywhere'
relationships or friendships.

Observe the relationships around you.
Pay close attention...

Which ones lift, and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage, and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill, and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama, or don't really understand, know or
appreciate you & the gifts that lie within you?

Remember that the people you have around you will have an impact on your
life, your values and your income. So, be careful when choosing the
people you hang out with, as well as the information with which you will
feed your mind. We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor
feed our minds with negative thoughts.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth
around you... the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit
in the FRONT ROW, and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

Ask for wisdom and discernment, and choose wisely the people who
will sit in the front row of your life.

You cannot change the people around you....but you CAN change the people
you choose to be around!

WHO IS IN YOUR FRONT ROW?

Patchwork said...

Hugs friend. You're so awesome, even when you're insanely green-eyed crying. *more hugs*

Ruby said...

@Coffeebaron - Thanx hun...pity it's not easy to do that huh?

@Patchwork - awe my terrivle half...you make me feel all warm and fuzzy :)

Ruby said...

And a quick update :) I found a place to stay on thursday night:) Paid my deposit on friday and i'm moving this coming saturday:) it's a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment in a beautiful complex in a fabulous area and it's ridiculously close to work....so much of excitedness:)