Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dear Angel and Glug

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh, I'm quite out of breath from that long shout, but still sitting with a big grin on my face and an I told you so wanting to jump from my fingers.....and then I suddenly realise that I didn't tell you "I told you so" since for once in my life I had opted to take the safer route...... I kept my mouth shut. This is not something I do easily and I am therefor very proud of myself for pulling this off. But, back to the subject at hand.

I wish you guys the best of luck and hope that it will all work out, that you'll be happy, that Glug will continue to pick Angel's mind, that Angel will be able to continue the joys of living the glugster life and that both of you will remember that all is fair in love and war.

I do have a tiny little bone to pick. Whether the bone should be picked with the two of you or with Santa I'm not completely sure, but here goes. How on earth did Angel end up with a Prince Charming? Afterall, I'm the one who placed him on my Christmas Wish list???? For those of you who are wondering...no, Santa did not deliver him to my doorstep on Christmas Eve......but it's probably better that way. Santa acted with a bit of wisdom.........if the poor guy had to cope with my insanely loving and lovable family at Christmas time he would have turned and run for the hills.

All jokes aside...congratulations you two! I really hope that things work out for the best and that smiles and happiness is all we'll ever hear about this relationship in blogland. I suppose the odd fight and make-up scenario will be OK too:-)

Kisses to you both

Ruby

P.S. I won't be returning to normal blogging until after the 7th, but as this is quite a memorable occasion for two people I've come to know I decided that it was worth the struggle with the dial-up modem to congratulate them.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Dear fellow bloggers

This is just a quick note to all of you sweet people whom I have grown to love and respect in the past couple of weeks.

I'm just letting you know that today at one I'm off to go on holiday, so i'll be pulling a bit of a disappearing act for a while. But I'll be back soon enough to share all the stories and odd people I've met on my travels.

Have a good one!

Love

Ruby

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Guy who made me the other woman

I hope this letter finds you well, still married and not cheating on your wife. You are probably very surprised to receive this letter, but my guess is the stress as to what I'm planning to do with what I know, how that affects your life, and how much money I'm asking to keep my mouth shut is overpowering the feelings of bittersweet love and pleasant surprise. Relax dude, I'm not here to blackmail you for cheating, nor am I here to demand attention. This letter is simply something I had to do, OK?

Yesterday I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self. Now granted, in a normal world that would be very odd, but being me this is nothing new or odd or sinister. You are a part of my life that I have sort of put away from my mind for a long time. But yesterday as I was writing this letter you popped up and I warned my younger self against you. And now I can't help thinking and mulling.

I had always promised myself that I will never ever be the other woman. I can't stand the fact that people can have a relationship with a guy/girl knowing that at the end of the day that guy goes back to someone else. And then one day, unknowingly, I became exactly that. For 9 whole months you kept the facade going, and despite the fact that I've been trying to convince myself you are a horrible person and that was a terrible time in my life, I have to admit that it was an awesome 9 months. I never knew about the lovely sweet girl back home. The one you spoke to on the phone once a day, visited for a weekend once a month, and proposed to on the night you broke up with me.

You didn't even have the guts to face me! you broke up with me over the phone....my guess is this was right before you asked her to marry you. Ass! Then you refuse to answer the one and only call I made to you to try and sort our relationship out. I found out from a friend who came from your home town that you were engaged..you guys have been seeing each other for over 3 years. I won't deny the fact that for a brief couple of days my bubbly spirit was crushed and I had to face facts......I was the other woman.

I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and blaming myself for this, but finally i realised that this was not my fault. I do not have to feel bad, I didn't do anything wrong. I was not at fault....you were! you started courting me, knowing my views, pretending to agree with me, and knowing that another girl was waiting for you at home. I refused to feel bad...and I returned to living my life.

For a while I considered contacting the poor naive girl and informing her of your betrayal. Wanting you to suffer her rejection to pay for what you've done. Not wanting her to have to discover how treacherous the groom to be is after it was too late. I finally decided against it......maybe you have changed(i doubt it) or maybe her whole life would be shattered by the news. The truth is...i didn't want to face her wrath, plus, you're such a bloody charmer, you probably would have convinced her I'm a stalker or something.

I have changed my views about not being the other woman ever so slightly, and it now goes like this.......I will never knowingly be the other woman. I can't change what i don't know about, I'm not 100% perfect, I make mistakes, but I can sure try to make the little bit around me as close to perfect as it can be.

You're probably still sitting there wondering what I want. Well, I really don't want anything. This is my way of letting go of something that has bothered me for the last 3 years. I forgive you dude. By forgiving you I'm letting go and giving myself freedom from the past. And I hope that somewhere along the line when you realise what you've done you have the courage to forgive yourself.

Regards

Ruby

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Dear sweet 13 year old Ruby

Hey dollface......my guess is you are smiling right about now, you just love letters don't you? Along with the thrill of receiving a letter you are probably a little puzzled as to how a letter from the future is even possible, and what on earth made your 25 year old self decide to send you this letter. Unfortunately I can't answer your first question. It's got a whole lot to do with time travel and atoms and stuff like that. Just think of it as a letter brought to you by Michael J Fox via the Back to the Future movies.

As for your second question.............I was tagged in a meme by two wonderful ladies, Nats and Sheena, to write this letter. What on earth is a meme you might ask. I'll just leave that part up to you, you'll figure it out eventually.

My guess is that you are now somewhere in your first year of high school. The rational side of you won the long battle as to whether or not you should go to a high school for fine arts or a normal high school and you are attending a wonderful, but normal school....well as normal as a small town high school with mostly boarding school kids can be. You later learn that you were extremely privileged to attend such a small school and that your experience is very different from most of you big city friends(the ones you meet later).....different but much much better.

There is so much that I could tell you, but I'm going to try and limit myself to only a few things as the letter will never end at the rate I'm going. You know that really handsome blond guy, the one with the curly locks who is the school's cricket and rugby star? You end up dating him for 2 years. Actually, I think that will happen pretty soon, as you started dating him somewhere during your first year in high school. That silly Danica girl tries to break you guys up by kissing him in front of you, but like the prince charming he is he pushes her away quite roughly and runs to your side...relationship saved. The relationship unfortunately does not make it past 2 years, but we're still friends today....he's getting married next year by the way.

If it is at all possible for you not to date or even become attracted to Mr Drews that would be fabulous. Yes, I know he is tall, dark, handsome, mysterious and 18. I realise that you have just turned 16, your gorgeous, fabulous and everybody loves you, but trust me on this one, he's bad news! He tries to beat you up when you finally break up with him(since your responsible and rational), but lucky for you Isak comes to the rescue. Yes, the same Isak you now hate.....you guys will become firm friends in the not too distant future.

By the time you finish high school as head girl and dux you are well respected, independent, confident and you know what you want out of life. Your friends love you, even your enemies tend to like you and the only people who despise you are the girls who date your best male friends. The principal pays you R2 000 for you final matric results(FYI) and you looked unbelievable at your Farewell.

You finally decided to let your dream of being a doctor go in October of your final year in high school and started studying for a Chartered accountant at the University of Potchefstroom the next year. This is the last comment I'll make about your academics.....you do really well and you pass your CTA...so don't worry about it OK?

You stay in Res for 3 years and in this time you have tons of friends and quite a few love stories. You meet the most amazing man, who later becomes a famous singer and is still your friend. You never consider dating him while studying, but trust me at 25 your suddenly discover that if he were to ask you to marry him...you would. nuff said!

The last year at UNI you live in a house with your best friend and 7 guys. Your best friend is absolutely awesome by the way...but you'll only meet her when you go to uni. The guys are great and you feel like an absolute princess. They become some part of your very selective close friends. This is also the year you end up dating a guy for 9 months. He dumps you without any reason and treats you like shit.(oops sorry.......don't learn to say that word OK???) You later find out that he had been dating another girl for the past 3 years and they got engaged the night he broke up with you. Dry your tears and move on. Do not feel guilty!!! You are not the other woman...you were unaware of this and have no reason what so ever to feel bad. You are gorgeous, proud, pure of heart and he didn't deserve you to begin with.

After Uni you move to JHB. You love it! You live in a house with a bunch of musicians and are envied by thousands of young girls for actually living with these guys. You are however, not attracted to any of them and have no dirty little gossip secrets to swop with the hundreds of screaming fans who corner you after you received a kiss on stage. You finally move into your own little house in 2007.....just before your twenty fifth birthday.

You will be involved in a horror crash late one evening near the end of September 2005. You will be bedridden for 2 months, but you survive. Not untouched, but completely unfazed. I'm sure you do not want to know this now but your older brother scooted over to England right after he finished university. He stays there for 4 years and also meets the girl of his dreams. She is not English, she's a yank, so hurray hurray, you go to the states for a wedding and a holiday.

You will also meet your boy. Remember in Little Women how Laurie was Jo's boy? Well, that's exactly what Nicky becomes. He has this gigantic crush on you initially, but he will outgrow it and you guys become the best of friends. He will at times break your heart, but he loves you to bits and will move mountains for you if it was needed.

You also end up dating a multi-millionaire for about 2 months. He owns the Seattle Coffee chain(you know the coffee shops you find in Exclusive books??, oh wait, that will only start happening a bit later, so look out for them when you are about 17) He's a sweetheart, but he's not the one for you. You keep feeling like he's trying to buy you with all the gifts and money he's flashing around. The romantic relationship doesn't last too long, but you guys become great friends after the initial healing process of 2 months.

I almost don't want to tell you about this one. It's meant to be a surprise.....so I'll only give you the slightest of details. You will date a very famous radio DJ for a while. He's awesome and even after you break up a part of your heart belongs to him. So when you meet a funny intelligent guy in a bit of a dodgy bar and you find him a tad entertaining...don't give him such a hard time OK??He's an angel and you end up loving him very much.

All in all I think you will be proud of the woman you have become. Always stay true to yourself and don't worry about all the people who get nasty when they become jealous of your fabulous life. You are successful, loving, bubbly, hard working, honest and simply the best person you could possibly be! Your relationship with your parents become even better than what it currently is...so you never have to worry about them not supporting you.

There is so much more to tell, but I've just noticed that my "little" letter is becoming very very long. So I'll stop here.

I love you angel!

Lots of hugs and kisses

Ruby

P.S. - I've noticed that I keep switching between past and present tense as this whole time travelling thing is a bit confusing.......for me it's already in the past, for you it's in the future and somewhere in between it is present.....normally your english grammar and spelling is just fabulous....so don't worry about it.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

My Insurance

RE:NEW PREMIUM AND EXCESS EFFECTIVE 1 JANUARY 2008

I am quite sure that this little letter won't make the slightest difference. I am well aware of the fact that my one little policy probably doesn't affect your gigantic company at all and should I move it won't make any difference to you at all. But you do realise that Word of mouth is the best way to get either negative or positive publicity.......in this case you can be certain that it will in fact be very very negative. I don't even know if anybody will actually read this here letter, and if you do, you'll probably be wondering what this stupid silly girl could possibly wish to accomplish. The fact of the matter is that if I don't do something about the fact that I'm unhappy, I have no right to complain about it later. But I'm getting way ahead of myself....let's start at the beginning.

Yesterday I received a letter from you, my insurance company. I have been your client since the beginning of 2006 when I bought my new car. Thus far your service has been excellent, I haven't had one single complaint. Damn, I'm getting ahead of myself again. Anyway, so I received the letter that you sent me stating that my premium will be increasing from the first of January 2008. This I found quite acceptable, as it is the date of commencement of my policy and my annual increases usually take place on this date. The increase was slightly steep, but I wasn't quite worried yet.

My heart attack of the day only came when I turned the page over to take a look at my new "Policy excesses schedule" DAMN!!!!!!! My normal excess had increased with over R5000????what??? this is a mistake right? or so I thought at the time anyway. I mean seriously...how can my excess be almost R7000? I might as well not have any insurance at all.

I contacted the customer service department immediately, this had to be sorted out. She ever so sweetly informed me that it was not a mistake and that the amount in my letter was in fact right. I remained calm...at first anyway. Her reply on my series of questions and statements ranging from "why?", "its ridiculous" and "how the hell do you rationalize an increase of over R5 000 in my excess" was simply that because of the high interest rate, inflation and the fact that the petrol price has increased so much have caused panel beater fees to increase and that is why I have a large increase....but seriously over R5000? You have got to be kidding me!!! It's not as if I am a high risk customer or anything!

I've only claimed from you guys once! and that's when I had a little bumper bashing in July. The costs weren't that high and you were able to recover all the costs from the other dude's insurance. So please tell me.....WTF??????

This letter is merely my means of letting you know how upset I am. How betrayed I feel and to let you know that I am already making plans to move insurance companies. My broker is already obtaining quotes on my behalf. And be sure that under no circumstances will I ever advise anyone to buy their insurance policy from you.

Regards

Ruby

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dear Glug

I *keep forgetting to do this. Thank you so much for tagging me in one of your little meme's. I appreciate the thought and will do my best to try and answer the little questions to the best of my musical ability. Please do not take this as an open invitation for all meme's to cross your path. If you have to tag me please do so with only the really interesting and fun ones. This one isn't too bad and therefore I've decided to complete it.

I do realise that for some reason you were under the impression that I will have difficulty in formulating this silly little thing to look like a letter. How silly of you;-) You seem to have forgotten the fact that I am indeed a genius. Or maybe you'll be forgiven if you simply plead ignorance.

According to the information supplied to me I have to put my ipod on shuffle(i don't have one) and answer the questions with song titles. I decided to compromise since I couldn't bear the thought of letting you down cyber friend. My computer's play list has been set to random....so here goes nothing;-)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK?" YOU SAY?
Since you been gone - Kelly Clarkson

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
Eye of a tiger

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Just friends - Gavin DeGraw ( I doubt it)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Shine - Imogen Heap (Cool)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE
I believe in a thing called love - dunno

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO
What brought the house down - Ditty Bops

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Drop the pilot - Joan Armatrading

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Every breath you take - Sting & the police (aawwwweeee)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN
Again - Lenny Kravitz

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Lover Boy - Billy Ocean

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND
Something about you - Five for fighting

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Baby be mine - Parlotones (LOL)

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Bitter stranger - Nickle Creek

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Tangled - Maroon5

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fever - Michael Bubble

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
SOS - Rihanna (Not very likely)

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I'm not missing you you - Stacie Orrico

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL
You're crashing but you're no wave - Fall Out Boy (uhm???)

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
You Learn - Alanis Morissette

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Beep - The pussycat dolls (I guess it's gonna remain a secret for just a little while longer)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Beautiful - The Parlotones (I kid you not!)

22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Keep forgetting - The Cinematics (Sort of *)

I hope that this will sufficiently quench your curiosity as to my taste in music;-p You also requested that I name the people I would like to complete this little meme. So here goes nothing:
Vimbai
Blond Blogshell
High in Dubai
Natalie
Miss M

Good luck guys

Regards

Ruby

P.S. - I'm sorry, I'm still a bit stupid, so unfortunately I didn't put the links in? I know how to insert a link but then it shows the whole bloody link???????? If someone can help me I'll fix this so only the name shows it would be greatly appreciated.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Sandwich Baron

RE: CHEESE SALAD

Today I ordered a Cheese Salad from your Melrose Crossing outlet. It's not that there was anything wrong with the taste, the packaging, the price or the ingredients. In fact, I sort of enjoyed the little salad. Or I would have if I was preparing myself to eat a french salad.

Thing is...when I order a cheese salad I expect delectable cubes of different types of cheeses...at least Feta and Mozzarella..... along with some salady things like lettuce, onions, tomato etc. But a lot of focus on the cheese cubes since it is after all a CHEESE salad. Am I wrong in expecting this???

I do not expect a normal French salad with grated cheese on top! It's an outrage! If I wanted a French Salad I would have ordered one and asked for a little bit of grated cheese on top. But I wanted a cheese salad...I was in the mood for cheese!

I would appreciate it if you could look into the matter for me.

Regards

Ruby

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Home Affairs complaints department

I will keep this short and sweet as I'm pretty sure you receive thousands of complaints a day. My complaint will probably not make on iota of difference, but I'd still like to at least go on record with this complaint.

I applied for the renewal of my license in December 2006, just before I left for the US. I came back 6 weeks later and immediately made a trip to your offices just in case it might be there....yes yes, I know we are supposed to wait for a little collection note to reach us in the post, but your system doesn't work all that well and people don't always get these little notes....so I just went. No license.

Ever since the end of January I have made a monthly trip to you offices in order to find out if my license has showed up...no luck. I've phoned, I've complained, I've thrown nice little Ruby tantrums, I've been nice, I've even tried bribing...still, no luck.

Then last week my father phones me all the way from the Zulu Kingdom. My collection notice had been sent to them..how odd! I didn't even give you their address?? I gave you my address, in Joburg. Not being one to be easily phased I got my Dad to fax me a copy of the thing for "just in case". And set out to your offices early this morning...bearing my now expired temporary license that I had to get when I applied for the renewal, since the old one had expired the week before.

I would like to mention that I think you need to send all your staff members on a social interaction course or something. It is extremely impolite to start yelling at a client when she requests her new license. Needless to say, this morning didn't start out well. I was yelled at, told that the license had been sent back, asked why I had waited a whole year, told that I had to re-apply for a renewal as well as a new temporary license which would mean that I would have to pay for everything again. Ever so sweetly I tried to explain to your employee that I was quite sure that if he would just take a look he would find my license along with all the others, as the collection notice had only been sent at the end of November and that I've been there once a month for the past 11 months and they've told me every single time that they didn't have my license yet. He only knew one sentence:"eish, you have to pay again" Sorry dude!!! ain't gonna happen, this was so not my fault.

Anyway, after a shouting match of about 20minutes some other senior official finally showed up and after listening to me carefully...like the other guy should have done....he promised to go and see if he could find my license with all the others. And guess what??? He found it!

So here is a neatly composed list of my complaints and issues:
1. Please make sure that in future it doesn't take 12 months to renew someones license
2. Please inform your employee that the customer should be treated with respect and kindness......we pay your salary after all
3. Shouting at Ruby first thing in the morning is not good...as your employee will inform you
4. Please send all you employees on 2 courses, the first being one in basic English, the second being one in social skills.

Regards

Ruby

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Dear Co-worker Beatch!

Today I have had enough! In the past 3 years you have made every single day a misery....except of course when I'm not at the office. I've been patient, I've been kind, I've been hard working, understanding, sweet, nice, friendly and just about everything under the sun which can be used to described pretty much treating you with respect and friendliness even though you don't deserve this. But now it is just becoming way beyond ridiculous!

You are one gorgeous lady....we all know that. You look 22 despite the fact that you have just turned 33. You are smart and well educated but all of this is spoilt by you behaviour. You are a bitch. I'm so sorry, but there is just no other way to put it.

You treat me with disdain, because for the first time ever you actually have competition in the office in all departments. Looks, brains, personality.....and to make it even worse I'm better liked because nobody considers me to be a bitch. I'm nice, friendly, sometimes difficult, but first to apologize if I was wrong...unlike certain people I know who considers all other people to be stupid, ugly, always wrong, and just way below them on the social ladder. Well wake up missy!!!!

I don't mean to be vain or anything, but you are driving me insane. You are not as absolutely cool as you think you are!You are driving a mini cooper..not because you bought it but because your rich boyfriend paid for it...you only wear designer clothes...because your rich boyfriend buys it.....you go overseas at least twice a year...only because your rich boyfriend takes you.

You are 33 years old, cant do anything for yourself, have no social skills and well frankly......without you little rich ass boyfriend you don't really have anything. You despise the fact that I get along well with everyone else at the office, because the boss loves me and is forever singing my praises, the fact that I don't rant and rave back at you when you shout at me like a real fish wife, that i was given the corner office even though you've been at the company longer....the fact that people like me for me and I don't need money to impress them. The fact that I was the one that received the Management position for next year while your articles expired without any future at our company.

Now that I'm done ranting and raving I actually feel quite sorry for you. It is so sad to see someone with your talents waste them. I honestly do think that you are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen(no I'm not Lesbian), you are extremely intelligent and if your boyfriend wants to spoil you that much...well done on finding one like that. I just don't see why you have to be such a bitch to everyone around you? hell, you even try and command the boss around....what's up with that? I'm sick of you telling everyone horrible gossip stories which are so far from the truth that everyone just laughs at you anyway. I'm tired of you trying to make me feel like I am inferior. I'm tired of being friendly and respectful when all of my niceness just gets thrown back in my face.

Everyone is writing your farewell card since your article contract expires at the end of the year along with mine. They are all lying. "We're gonna miss you", "come and visit", yeah, whatever! everybody dislikes you...surely you know that by now. I've decided not to write anything. I'd rather let you think I'm a bitch by not leaving you a nice little message in the card than put a lie in ink forever.

I've just read the letter and realised that it might sound vain. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be, and actually, its not. Its just that I'm so sick of you trying to make me feel like I'm an excuse for a human being. I'm not! I'm good at what I do, and I'm not nice to people cause I'm scared they might dislike me if I'm not. I'm nice to people because that's who I really am.....if i did act like a bitch every now and again I wouldn't remain true to the person I've become. Live with it.

I'm not writing anything in you card, but in truth I do wish you the best for the future. I hope you get a job and a boss that suits you. And I certainly hope that you and mister Rich BF will get married sometime soon, it's about time. But please....for heavens sake...don't come back and visit and never, never live with the illusion that you are sorely missed on this side

Regards

Ruby

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Dear Doctor

Since I understand that you must be a very busy man I shall make this short and sweet. I suspect that I might have cracked/broken/smashed a teeny weeny little bone in my right foot. I say suspect since I'm no professional in the medical area, but have had plenty bones broken, ligaments torn, bones completely smashed etc, and therefore I think I'm entitled have an opinion on this.

I realise that you will probably tell me the same thing you tell every other unsuspecting patient be it over the phone or otherwise..."make an appointment and come and see me". I have 2 problems with this.

First of all I am absolutely petrified of doctors. As in I get completely hysterical, I cry, I become a spoilt little child who likes throwing tantrums.This is a big problem. You'd think that after the 2 weeks in hospital and all follow up visits I'd have grown used to you people in white lab coats..but no...I'm still petrified.

The second problem is more of an ethical one. I have a problem with the fact that a doctor can charge me anything between R200 and R400 per visit of 10minutes max! jeepers! and I thought my charge out rate was ridiculous! It doesn't cost you a cent to quickly glance at my foot, write a little note to the lady at the x-ray centre and send me on my merry way within 2 minutes...this of course after you made me wait for 40minutes...despite the fact that i pitched up on time for my appointment. I think, since I am paying you a small fortune, that you should at least have the decency to see me at the appointed time.

Maybe you can just e-mail me a little note which I can produce to the sweet little lady at the x-ray lab? that way I don't have to see you and nurse a stomach ulcer due to the stress caused by this and you can save the 2 minutes you are going to spend talking to me.....lets say at a fee of around R50?

I'll describe the foot to you. Its blue, slightly black, green, purple and very red around the point of impact. Extremely swollen, though I dare say I managed to get rid of the worst of that by applying some herbal stuffies. And it hurts like hell when there is any physical contact, when i have to walk...hell, actually it just hurts like hell all the time....have found that large amounts of alcohol works for a short while, but a more permanent solution would be nice.

I hope that you and I can come to some sort of arrangement in this regards

Regards

Ruby

Monday, December 3, 2007

Dear Treadmill

Yes yes I know.......treadmills are created for the sole purpose of running/walking as exercise, not to fall over. But it wasn't entirely my fault and I'm pretty peeved at you at the moment.



On Saturday night we went over to a friends house for a braai.(The very same braai I invited gorgeous to) The idea was that I was supposed to look super cool, super gorgeous, in control and everything but clumsy and accident prone....which is something I tend to be every now and again. But you just had to go and spoil it all didn't you????



For some odd reason you have been placed right in front of the door going out to the lapa...goodness knows why??? but this means that in order to get in or out you have to squash yourself between the door frame and you, dearest darling treadmill. Earlier in the evening you almost tripped me....quite by accident I suppose. But I can't afford to go falling all over the place, so I asked you owner to either move you or to just fold the treading part up(the way you are supposed to be when not in use).



I was promised that the treadmill had been moved and that it is now safe for me to move in and out without fearing that you might cause my bodily harm. Like a fool I believed them! I was sitting outside with Gorgeous, having a drink and minding my own business when I suddenly remembered about the bread in the oven....damn! I made a mad dash for the kitchen...and lo and behold...whose still lying across the entrance....you!!! you lousy peace of torturing equipment!



Too late did I realise the trap you had set in the dark. I hit my foot against you with such force that I heard bone crack, the next moment i was sprawled all over you, trying my best not too cry and not sure whether the tears were from embarrassment or pain(trust me...it was the pain!!!). Lucky for me Gorgeous heard the commotion inside and like the true gentleman he is he came to my rescue. Plenty of ice, another drink and unexpected kiss made me feel a little better...until I realised my whole foot was blue...as in deep blue...on top and I had a lump the size of my foot on top of my foot!!!! I couldn't put my shoe back on...sigh!



But your evil plan to make me appear like a complete idiot didn't succeed you mean spirited devil machine! He just liked me so much more...since apparently he saw a side of me which didn't appear 100% perfect and now he felt less intimidated by the fact that it seems as if I never do anything stupid or wrong(boy, if he only knew!)



Even though your evil plot failed I still have to live with the consequences of your evil doings:-( So I've been limping around my clients office, kicking off the shoes whenever I can, and feeling like a good cry every time I move my foot at all......starting to wonder if maybe I've broken a little bone in there????



In future...pls remember that your purpose is to help people get fit.....not to try and assassinate people or even just make them look like complete idiots...unless they are in a gym and using you to run...then you may.



Regards

Limping Ruby

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Dear Readers(I guess)

Since this letters' only purpose is to inform everyone that's been nagging me about how my date went, it was rather difficult to place it in letter form. I did however, finally decide to just address it to all you readers....since it is really for you anyway;-)

Since I am a lady after all the information placed here will be very selective of nature. But I'm sure it will be enough to keep all you special people very happy and content.

The date was absolutely fabulous! Gorgeous was a perfect little gentleman, which impressed me quite a bit. You see, my dad has pretty much spoilt me for all men. My dad is an old school gentleman. He opens doors, he always goes around the car and opens the car door for both me and my mother, he's forever holding my mommy's hand, public affection is not a problem for him and he treats all women with an unbelievable amount of respect. And I think somewhere in my mind I find things like that very important. My folks are happily married after 31 years, and I think this had something to do with it.

OK, so back to my date. He picked me up, he opened car doors for me(I've never mentioned this), he pulled my chair out for me and he was polite, interesting and very very entertaining the whole evening. He was also very honest about his past(which i like) and about what he wants out of life and from the woman in his life. He's 30, he doesn't wanna waste his time with someone he considers to be a bad choice as a potential wife.......a bit scary...but considering that my mind is working the same way these days even though I'm only 25 and considering the very honest letter on Friday...he received the benefit of the doubt.

I had a fantastic time. He made me laugh, I found him intellectually stimulating......which is something I've found lacking in most of the guys I've dated in the last year except for one.....he was easy to talk to:-)

He was kinda upset that i wouldn't let him come to Hartebeespoort with me the next day, but understood that it was a special thing that had been planned for weeks and was only for me and 2 of the lovely girls in my life. He picked up when i invited him to a braai at a friends house on Saturday night tho. I think he enjoyed it. I was a bit astounded at my nerve when I invited him to the braai, but decided that if my friends didn't completely freak him out or send him running..he might actually be worth keeping around.

The braai went off well, the friends love him, he loves the friends......and yep, he didn't run;-) sweet sweet boy! So I'm guessing everybody wants to know if we are now "romantically involved" or not.......well, no. I'm taking this one slow. I'm just letting myself get to know him in an environment I feel comfortable with, and surprisingly enough he is cool with that. That's one of the first signs that a guy might be a keeper, he is willing to first be my friend and then the love of my life....i like him;-)

Am I in love? Do I feel all jittery when I see him? Do i have a tiny crush on him? The answer to all of the above is no. But don't despair...it doesn't mean I won't be or i won't have. I do not fall in love easily. I am not likely to have a crush on anybody and I certainly don't become jittery around anyone.....at least not until I've fallen in love with them. It takes me a while. I don't fall in love with strangers. I might think that they are awesome, gorgeous, interesting and entertaining. But I only fall in love once I've gotten to know the person and I know what they are all about......I take a while;-) I'm weird...apparently. But that's OK too, that's just who I am and I can't help it. Personally I think that's a whole lot safer than just falling head over heels in love with someone you hardly know.

I hope that you guys have received all the info you need....if not feel free to ask;-)

Regards

Ruby

PS - glug....I'm a lady and ladies don't take pictures when they are not being good but good at something

PPS - shit babe......i certainly hope you are not reading this!