Friday, December 31, 2010

Dear 2010

My my my...what a year this has been. Full of ups and downs, happies and all round good but tough year:) I've decided to end my year saying: 'I'm tracing the outlines of 2010 and liking the picture I see'.

I've decided to dedicate this post to everything that happened this year and all the lessons I learned, both good and all these things played a roll in who I am today:)

2010 will be etched into my memory for the following reasons:
  • I started my year off with a bang by visiting the gorgeous  Victoria falls...such an amazing experience.
  • I got my iPhone!
  • two other gorgeous friends had their babies.....we welcomed babyice and Faith into the world
  • A really good friend that lived on the same property as me committed suicide at our home.  He hanged himself, i saw was a traumatic and really sad experience, that i pray i never have to relive EVER again.  I was fortunate to have special people in my life who really stood by me and supported me.  Some people would simply stay awake with me through the night because i couldn't sleep.  Thank you.

  • I met the American boy (he was the brother of the friend who committed suicide...odd that we would meet under such strange circumstances and click immediately).  Paul always said we'd hit it off:)

  • I learned that I'm easily disappointed in myself for doing/thinking/saying things or for not doing/thinking/saying them when i should have.  I give myself a really hard time afterwards.  But then I work really hard to fix where i messed up.  I'm not entirely sure if i should tell myself to cut myself some slack or to just stay the same I'm now.  Both have pros and cons

  • I moved into my new home!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it! The area is fantastic, the apartment is perfect for me and it's only a 15min drive from work on the worst possible traffic days:)

  • I met my heart.........

  • I learned that just because someone promised you forever does not mean they will keep that promise

  • My good friend Superolz introduced me to Vida Coffee....I'm addicted:/

  • I found that it is possible to instantly connect with someone

  • Friends are found in the most amazing places....sometimes at a random braai at a house of a person you don't even know while gate crashing parties

  • Falling in love is both an amazing and a really scary experience.  It is however mostly good and definitely advisable:)

  • During the move i discovered a whole bunch of shoes i had completely forgotten about.  Can somebody say HappyRuby?

  • The female slave finally resigned and moved away.  I can not begin to tell you how happy this made me.  She made my life a misery for years.  

  • We attended #AnGlugWedding:) My two gorgeous friends finally got was definitely a wonderful wedding:)

  • I gave myself a pretty impressive blue eye....don't ask:/

  • I spent my birthday sick as a dog in bed...but did end the week with an awesome birthday party at least

  • A dear friend who has been a mentor and a great source of wisdom through a large part of my life was told he had an exceptionally large tumor on his brain.  I was shattered, however I'm happy to report now that after extensive surgery and a long recuperation period he is doing quite well.  

  • My trust issues were fuelled by a certain someone.

  • Soccer World Cup was held in SA....amazing amazing time....I'd like to bring 'Phillip' back if i can:P

  • GirlGuides was launched and i was one of the lucky girls who was asked to write gadget reviews for them:)

  • I was the victim of quite a serious roadrage incident

  • I had a fair amount of disagreements with the little bossman at work.  For the first time in the 6 years i have worked with the company i wasn't 100% happy...i didn't like this feeling.  But I'm happy to report that the situation has greatly improved.

  • I won an iPad from Afrihost!!!!!! *super big grin*

  • Having vicious rumors spread about you is not a pleasant experience

  • Some people ALWAYS have to be right.  They will NEVER admit that they are wrong, and will rather write off a friendship than admit that they made a mistake.

  • I discovered that there are more than a fair share of well known auditing firms in the country who don't even remotely adhere to the various standards they are supposed to be complying with...this really really really gets my blood boiling

  • I had a VERY memorable trip to Cape town as a mini break:)

  • Some people have a set of rather impressive double standards....i can't stand this practice. 

  • I started teaching myself to speak German...this is still very much an ongoing project that will keep me busy now that i don't have a masters degree keeping me occupied:)

  • I went through a period of suspecting that my landlord was sneaking into my apartment while i wasn't at home.  It was silly and stupid and started because he has a set of keys for the house and because i couldn't find clothes that i was looking for:)

  • We attended the Girls Only media launch...a business started by a lovely friend of mine:) 

  • #TheKernel was born:) And even though i have never met TheCaz in person there is no one I can think of that is more deserving of this incredible bundle of joy.  After everything she's been through i'm defnitely celebrating the birth of this little miracle in my 2010 memories blog:)

  • I launched my own little Ruby's secret project:) It kicked off with a bang and i want to encourage everyone to keep sending me their secrets:)

  • I was attacked by an evil squirrel

  • I got to watch Mama Mia

  • My gran became incredibly sick and was hospitalised for 2 weeks.  All of us, including all the various doctors were convinced she only had days left to live.  She on the other hand had a completely different opinion about the whole thing.  She was discharged and went back home accompanied by an oxygen machine which she has to use for a couple of hours each day.  We saw her now over Christmas and she is still as naughty and mischievous as ever.  She's gotten old though, and this makes me really sad.  She's not just my gran, she's my friend and the very thought of losing her makes me feel broken inside.  I'm grateful for each extra day i get to spend with her.

  • We went to see Grease

  • I won a gorgeous clutch bag and brooch from Miss Molly's Fashion on Being Brazen's blog *another super big grin*

  • Claude and Minnette got married...was an absolutely stunning wedding.

  • I had a pretty impressive fall at Metro Lounge while attending a friends birthday.  I had a huge bruise for weeks and my knee was swollen twice it's normal size for quite a while.

  • An old housemate and friend got engaged:)

  • We had our 10 year matric reunion *eeeek* which i had to was quite a lot of fun:)

  • I got my MASTERS DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does happy dance* after 2 years of blood, sweat, tears, no sleep and about a million sacrifices i finally made it.  My happiness knows no bounds:)

  • I had an operation on my hand to remove a growth that's been causing me all kinds of hassles.  As it turns out the operation was way more invasive than originally planned and the recuperation and healing is taking a lot longer than anticipated.  It is almost 4 weeks ago and i still can't do a large amount of things with my right hand.  But the specialist assures me that the operation was a success and in time i will regain full use of my hand.

  • I had an 'in chair operation' done on my mouth.  While grinding on my teeth in my sleep i managed to get a shard of tooth stuck in my jaw bone.  They had to dislocate the jaw and cut out quite a large piece of my jawbone in order to get rid of the shard.  This resulted in bone grafts and a titanium implant.  All in all an extremely painful experience.

  • I got to spend Christmas with my gran:)

  • Wall-E got engaged!

  • My brother and sister in law came to visit from the states:) They are in fact still here and will be here for another 10 days:)

  • My sister in law gave me a handmade quilt as a Christmas gift this year.  What an awesome and touching gift:)

  • My house was hit by lightening...twice.

  • Cobus and Lizette got married...she was one of the most beautiful brides I have EVER seen.

  • Spiritually this was definitely a year of grace.  It was a year of many searches.  I questioned many many things about what i believe and why. And even after all of that there was just no way that I could deny the existence of my powerful, all loving, all knowing and merciful God.  His grace is truly enough, and He had grace to allow me to question and search without letting me go. My beliefs are based on what I have experienced and does not come from what I have been taught or told.  He is real and He loves me.  I realise that not all of you reading this will agree or understand this.  But He is real to me and therefore makes out a very important part of my memorable moments of 2010.

  • I'm sitting here on the last day of 2010. Happy and content.  My heart is full.  I get to spend it with my family.  There are only 3 people missing to make this little picture a 100% perfect...but at the moment it's damn near perfect:)

I was saying this morning that even thought this year has rushed past at a ridiculous speed, January feels a million years ago.  Such a ridiculous contrast and yet so true.  It's been a really tough year.  I've had to cope with disappointment and hurt and about a million other challenges, but i survived and for that reason alone it was a good year.  Don't get me wrong, there were many good and even incredible things that happened this year, but i can honestly say that I experienced the past year as incredibly tough. I hope that 2011 will be a better one.  Filled with challenges and new things and blessing and lessons to learn.  If all goes well I'll do a little dear 2011 post, and while I don't plan on having new years' resolutions i hope to make make myself aware of what i expect of the new year. So my lovelies....Happy new year! I hope that 2010 has given you the chance to grow and that 2011 will be filled with many blessing, lots of love, friendship and happiness and that in a years' time we will all be saying "I survived 2011". Much love Ruby xxxxxx P.S  I've added a few pictures of various moments in 2010.  Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ruby's secrets

It's finally here!!! The second monthly post for Ruby's secret.  Thank you so much to everyone who sent in secrets...and I'd like to encourage you to keep sending the secrets to  with the subject line 'Ruby's Secrets'.

After much consideration i decided to post a handful of secrets per blog post.  So, for those of you that e-mailed a secret but don't see it on this post...keep your eyes open in the next one:
I'm not cynical about love

Dawson's creek lover:)
in love with a lesbian
Whose the biggest fool?
Be mine:)

I sent this secret into Post Secret and it was published on October 18, 2009.  No one I know would ever think I do such a thing. 

BTW, my stash is in my car.  I have about a dozen pair

walk with me
I think you're an idiot
 Well my lovelies...hope you enjoyed these:) And remember to keep them coming.


Dear life

I would appreciate it if you could cut me some slack right about now *pulls face*.

OK, so it's not ALL bad.  In fact, there are one or two super awesome things that have happened of late too. So, let me start with the first and the biggest and the bestest thing.  I passed my MASTERS degree:) Can we get a whoop whoop?  I realise that to some it might seem that I'm making a really big deal out of this, and they might not understand.  But to me this is a big deal.  It's been 2 years of blood, sweat and tears and about a million sacrifices.  Late nights, no sleep, high stress level and millions of hours of research later and here i stand...i finally made it:)  I was so relieved i felt like crying:)  So allow me to say...yay me! and do a little happy dance and come celebrate with me if you want.

Last week Friday...or rather, the Friday before that....i finally relented and paid a visit to the hospital with regards to the growth in my hand.  The fact that it had been swollen and incredibly painful for days and that the growth had become remarkably bigger was really stressing me out.  Once can't help but wonder if the original diagnoses saying it was a bone cyst was wrong.  What if it wasn't something as innocent as all that.  What if it's a tumor?  So i spent a stressful day at the hospital being sent back and forth between the x-ray department, the specialist the ultrasound people and the doctor. 

The specialist was furious.  The original diagnoses had been wrong.  It wasn't a cyst at all.  It's an abnormal growth on the bone, causing lots and lots of damage and which would in time render my right hand absolutely useless.  It had to be removed immediately.  I was booked in for an operation on Tuesday. Panic stations! The specialist assured me that the chances of it being malignant was incredibly small, but they will test it anyway, just to double check.

So on Tuesday morning I was taken to hospital by my awesome friend.  His strength and support and calmness helped more than he could know.  I was on the verge of tears...since the accident i really don't deal well with hospitals.  Thankfully the operation went off without a hitch and i was cleared for discharge on Tuesday afternoon.  At least i could go and recuperate at home...score!

It's been a painful and frustrating couple of days.  Having your dominant hand rendered useless and in a lot of pain while living alone is NOT for the feint hearted.  My hand was so swollen that moving it became impossible and my knuckles couldn't be distinguished from the sausages that were my fingers.  Thankfully most of the swelling is now gone:) I was perfectly miserable and whiny for a couple of days...I'm sure the entire twitter can vouch for that.  But my hand is improving every day and I'll be back to see the specialist in a week's time.  I've included a couple of pics of the progress:)

But now, the reason for my whiny letter to life, requesting a break is this.  I have the annoying habit of grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw in my sleep when I'm stressed.  Obviously the operation has been quite stressful for me, so I've been doing quite a bit of biting in my sleep.  On Saturday evening i woke up in excruciating pain in my lower right jaw.  Not only had I managed to rebreak a tooth i had broken years ago, but i also managed to lodge a piece of broken root in my jaw. *shudder*

By Sunday morning the whole right side of my face was swollen, nothing was helping for the intense pain and nowhere in JHB could i locate an emergency dentist.  Between my hand and my mouth i eventually collapsed in a pathetic little heap of tears and took myself off to casualties to get something for the pain.

Monday was my first day back at work...i won't was painful.  But my hand is coming along nicely and this made me smile.  My mouth however was a completely different story.  The dentist is unable to help me until we can get the swelling down.  He did however take an X-ray and was horrified at the way that the root had broken off inside the gum and managed to lodge itself in the jaw.  He's prescribed super strong painkillers and anti-biotics...i hope they start working ASAP...can't really handle much more of this.  This also means that my as yet untainted mouth (no cavities, no fillings, nothing) will no contain remain untainted:/  I'll be going in on Thursday (he's kind enough to help me on the public holiday) to have an implant done.  Bye bye Christmas my medical aid will not be covering this rather expensive procedure.

Now can you see where I'm coming from begging for a break?  What i have learned in the last two weeks is that when it rains it definitely always pours....this applies to both the good and the bad in life.  The trick is not to drown but to learn to dance in the rain.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dear Claudz

So madam, you tagged me in you 'i love you blog' post.  The only decent thing to do is to comply and to address this here little letter to you:) So here goes nothing....

1. Why did you create your blog?
I used to have a blog on myspace.....ages and ages ago when i first moved to Jozi.  The blog was however discovered by people who didn't like what i was writing and to keep the peace my little blog was abandoned.  However, my love of writing wouldn't hide and after a view brief months of not blogging i finally started Ruby Letters.  It's therapy for me, it gives me a voice:)

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?
I read mostly life blogs.  And then there are a couple of people who blog about other things like fashion and awesome furniture ideas and funky Friday quotes which i enjoy:)

3. Favourite make-up brands
I have a very sensitive skin and don't wear much make up.  Mascara wise i only ever wear Maybeline as it doesn't irritate my eyes.  Make up wise i flutter between Annique and Mac.

4. Favourite clothing brands
hmmm....I'm not a big fan of branded clothing.  I guess the only 2 brands i really buy would be Sissy Boy and Levi.  And the levis i ONLY buy when my brother comes to visit from the states and it's cheap.  I have to confess that I own a Polo dress...but it was bought for a function.  My absolute favourite clothing shop is contest!

5. Your indispensable make-up product?
Erm....i don't have one *shakes head*

6. Your favourite colour
I love black...then again..that's not really a colour:/  Olive green, orange and red wine red:)

7. Your perfume?
I have 3 that i love.  My most favourite is Lacoste Touch of Pink...also love Black XS by Poco Rabonne and Guilty by Gucci.

8. Your favourite film?
So difficult:( I'll just list a couple i think:
 - my life as a house
 - a beautiful mind
 - forest gump
 - Amalie
 - Spanglish
 - Moulin Rouge
 - Chicago
 - Save the last dance
Actually....most dance movies is an instant hit in my books:)

9. What country would you like to visit and why? many! Germany, Spain, France, Iceland.......etc

10. Write the last question and answer it yourself: What is the answer to life?
42, without a doubt!


Friday, November 26, 2010

Dear Ruby

Sometimes you can be such a silly girl! I started this post as my standard 'dear readers' post, but then i realised that i already did one of those this week...and i don't really want to bore my readers. So instead I've decided to write myself a little note and a bit of a reprimand for being silly.

Today I'm having an insecure day *sigh*.  To be honest...i can't complain.  I don't have these often.  But today is just one of those days where i feel insecure.  And the fact that i KNOW it is both stupid and unreasonable just makes me feel irritated with myself. 

I've taken the 'If i can't see it, it can't see me' approach...which pretty much means I'm ignoring my stupidity and living the day as if it doesn't exist....the problem with this approach is that it isn't a very successful one. The insecurity is still there...glaring at me...pfffffft!

What exactly am i insecure about? I don't know.  I'm just feeling generally unsure of myself.  Maybe it relates to the harsh realisation I had this morning when i woke up.  My life is about to undergo a very big change in the next 4 months or so.  I plan on moving jobs.  Where will I work? Will I stay in JHB? Will other things in my life work out the way i want them to? Then there is also my sometimes cynical and 'conspiracy theory based' outlook on life.  What if everything blows up in my face? What if none of this is real? So many what if, and where's and when's and what's.  It's left my head spinning just a bit and most probably led to my bout of insecurity with regards to EVERYTHING today.

So, my dear and darling Ruby.  Snap out of it! And with that I mean right now! The future is looking bright and exciting.  And yes, i realise that you don't know exactly what will be happening in the next couple of months...but this only means that the future is filled with endless possibility.    Also, the whole world is NOT conspiring against you.  The people who take time to listen, spend time, show you that they care and tell you this really DO care.  They're not all about to turn on you and laugh at you for being silly enough to trust them, or for sharing your dreams with them.  They wouldn't go out of their way just to hurt you....and if they do this is more the exception than the rule.

Funny thing is...I've had a really good day so far.  I'm not feeling down or scared or unhappy or anything of the sort.  I'm in a happy and silly mood....there is just this tiny little jackal of a feeling gnawing at my ankles and it is irritating me.    Maybe just actually saying it out loud instead of ignoring it will give me power over it.  In fact, I'm convinced of this.

I'm a very blessed little girl, and i plan on reminding myself of this all the time.  I have a bright future ahead of me and a close circle of people around me that love me and care for me and only want the best for me:)  Insecurities...pfffffft! what are those! *take THAT stupid irrational feeling*


Update: writing this earlier and actually figuring out WHY i was being all stupid actually helped:) feeling MUCH better now:) Yay for the therapy writing brings:)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

My dearest brother and sister-in-law

Happy Thanksgiving!  Hope you have a truly awesome day and that your thanksgiving day feast is memorable....I'm also hoping you guys get to play loads of shuffle board today (if the weather permits):)

I figured since we can't be there to celebrate this day of thanksgiving with you I'd do a post with a list of things that I'm grateful for.  So here goes:)

I'm thankful for:
........having people in my life to love and being loved in return.
........a family that truly has my back at all times.
........awesome friends:) new home! I can't believe it took me 5 and a half years to move closer to work...My life has changed completely.  Also, because the new home doesn't have damp problems I'm not sick all the time.  Haven't had bronchitis or pneumonia since moving.
........the fact that my masters degree is now done and dusted.  Now i just have to continue to wait until the results come out.
........having people in my life who really really care for me.  Who would do anything for me.
........being so close to someone that you experience their presence even when they aren't with you.
........a God who loves me. juice! you have no idea how much i adore apple juice:) I always have some in my fridge. iPad and iPhone...yes, this sounds ridiculous and insanely superficial.  It's OK...i can deal with that. They've made my life so much easier, efficient and entertaining.
........having a job and surviving.  I've met too many people this year who really suffer financially.  People who want to work and don't have jobs.
........second chances.  None of us deserve them, but they are the most amazing things when given to someone who really wants to make a difference. opportunities and an exciting future.
.........good music:) It's the thing that keeps my soul alive.
.........certain things happening in certain parts of my life.
.........risks that were taken and the amazing returns because of it.

I think that the point I'm trying to make is that even when we go through tough times, and even when we are whiny and difficult and sad.  Or when we're happy and excited about life....there is always a lot that we can give thanks for. 

I love you, and I miss you both so very much! Can't wait for the little visit in just over a month.

Much love

Monday, November 22, 2010

Dear Readers

So it's time for one of my favourite regular blog entries:)  I'll finish a couple of sentences and then you can finish them in my comments section.

I learned.....that there are instances in life when you experience such infinite happiness that your heart becomes so full it feels as if it might burst!

There comes a life, relationships, friendships, work and all other segments of our lives when you need to realize you're flogging a dead horse. 

Choosing to stop........ does not always constitute quitting.

Spending time with good therapy. a choice.


And off you go my you go and complete the sentences:)


P.S.  Don't forget about my pet project....keep sending me those secrets!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Dear stranger in the night

Last night I wasn't feeling all too well.  Actually, I'm still not feeling too great.  My throat and ears hurt and are swollen and i just feel tired and run down.  More than anything i wanted to have a relatively early night (in my books that means getting to bed before midnight).  So i took my meds and timed it right that i would be extremely sleepy no later than 11pm.

For once i fell asleep immediately! you have to understand...being an insomniac this rarely happens...even when taking medicine.  Generally I don't switch my cell phone off at night.  The reason for this is that I'm always petrified that there would be an emergency or something would happen and someone might need me and then I won't be available.  So my phone is always on.  Also, an sms notification doesn't wake me, a phone call however does. It's the perfect arrangement really.

Then last night at 12:45AM my phone started ringing....still being very much asleep i didn't even bother looking at who was calling, i just answered, my heart beating a mile a minute.  I mean, why else would your phone ring at 12:45AM...something had to be wrong somewhere right? WRONG! It was you. The conversation that followed went something like this:
Sleepy Ruby : Hello?
Stranger : Hello.  Eish....Who are you?
Slightly more awake Ruby : What?
Stranger : Who am i talking to?
Slightly annoyed Ruby : Why would you ask that? You called the number...who the hell are you and who are you looking for????
Stranger : eh...I'm looking for you
Highly annoyed ruby : Bulldust! a second ago you didn't even know who you were talking to.  Listen here's quarter to 1 in the MORNING! Who the hell calls people at that time? Stupid people...that's who! Screw you dude!
*Ruby puts down the phone and switches it to silent mode*

Then this morning when i recalled the incident I wasn't quite sure if i was dreaming or if it was real.  So I checked my phone.  Ohmigosh! 34 missed calls....34...I kid you NOT! From your number.  For one of them you actually left a voice mail...livid because i had called you stupid and asking me who the hell i thought i was for saying you're stupid.  Dude! 12:45 AM and 34 missed calls later to a person you don't even know...what the hell??

Needless to say I didn't sleep very well.  Once i get awakened like that i really battle to fall asleep again, and even when i do it is broken and disturbed.  I was NOT a happy ruby this morning.

Next time i suggest you block your number if you want to do something like this.  I have your number, and I'm still contemplating putting it on twitter and begging all the world to give you random calls at all hours of the night.  34 missed calls *shakes head*  I suppose it takes all sorts to make up the world.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dear Matrics of 2000

So the big day finally arrived on Saturday...our 10 year reunion.  The weeks building up to this event have been filled with excitement, annoyance, stress and eagerness for me and JG who were organizing the event.  At first everyone was keen to attend, in fact they were mumbling and grumbling because up until the point of us organizing something nobody had even attempted to organize a reunion.

Then, as the RSVP deadline loomed closer everybody went dead quiet.  I had to send about a million reminders.  Then of course there were the people who only RSVP'd after the deadline, the ones who begged and pleaded with me to come even though they can only pay at a date after the actual reunion.  Eventually I agreed to let the one girl and her date come even though she wouldn't be able to pay before the 19th.  I would live to regret this decision.  The budget was carefully planned for the people who were coming, we didn't have any spare money, but there was enough for everyone.  Then this girl who didn't pay didn't pitch and now she's refusing to pay...even though i already spent the money on them.  To say i was extremely ticked off would be an understatement.

Anyway, back to the more pleasant memories of the weekend.  Not many people attended, but the ones that did really wanted to be there.  We had so much fun, catching up, talking nonsense, laughing a mile a minute and sharing good food.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that people do eventually grow up and change for the better and find that place where they are supposed to be.  Seeing this in my old school friends really made me smile.  It was a happy moment and a happy realisation.

My one friend brought her little girl along..she was too gorgeous and stole every body's hearts...including mine.  She spent the largest part of the evening with me, playing games, eating with me and just sitting on my lap.  If i ever have children i hope they are as chilled and easy going as that little girl!

Thank you for a wonderful day and a fun filled was awesome to catch up with everyone.


P.S. I've attached a couple of random snapshots...sadly i didn't get pics of everyone who attended and obviously i couldn't post all the pics here....but here are a couple:)

P.P.S. Don't forget about my secret pet project! please remember to keep sending me your secrets!!!!

Ladies and gentleman, I present your entertainment for the evening:P Not really, but AH was definitely having a good night:) adorable is this child??? This is not her dad's JG, the old head boy

That would be me, paying attention to something that somebody was saying....or maybe just wondering what the hell they were on about.

*Snort* no comment!

These are the parents of the gorgeous little girl with number 2 on the way....i think he was trying to talk to his future son after having one too many

JG and his gorgeous wife:)

Mommy to be and our very own National angler.....yup, a girl that loves fishing..she actually has springbok colours.

My good friend Joe:) One of the few people i still have a lot of contact with.

Our resident trouble maker who seems to have calmed down quite a bit since becoming a daddy

She was pulling a face at the adorable:)

Joe and posers

Mommmeeeee, I'm tired i wanna go hooooooome!