Thursday, January 31, 2008

Dear Ex-Gangsta

Please please please, for the sake of my sanity and mental well-being, never ever do that to me again OK? I have been worried sick for the last 20 hours. I haven't been able to sleep and i wasn't really in the mood to do much eating either.

Setting the fact that I was stood up aside, though goodness knows that would be enough to drive any woman crazy, the little bone i have to pick with you has more to do with your little disappearing act. But for the sake of being thorough, lets start near the beginning somewhere.

Your fascinating and unusual past and interesting current life situation snared me from the moment i laid my eyes on you. Now don't get me wrong. This little snaring action had nothing at all to do with romance, and everything to do with the fact that i love people, their habits, their histories and there general characters.

Despite your cold hearted, death metalish, gangsta man past, you have surprisingly soft eyes. And your chin, although set at a very determined angle, speaks of compasion and a love for everything around you. But before i become completely distracted, let me return to the purpose of this letter.

You've been nagging me for a coffee date for weeks. Sulkishly complaining that I haven't been able to fit you into my insane schedule. Then on Tuesday we finally managed to set a date that suited us both....the very next evening:-) After all the speeches i gave you about booking me in advance you managed to get a short notice appointment...nice!

When i tried to contact you yesterday to confirm details your phone just rang. I wasn't worried and left a voice message knowing that you'll return the call as soon as possible, as always. Except, you didn't call back. I sms'd you an hour before the scheduled time, but still no reply. And then, to my absolute horror, you didn't show up at the coffee bar.

I phoned, again! It rang for ages and finally went to voicemail. Problem was, i couldn't decide whether i was upset with you for "bumping" me or freaking out because "not showing up", not phoning and not returning messages is not your style. I packed up, went home and tried to remain calm.

But i'm a tad paranoid by nature, so my mind kept jumping to the worst conclusions ever. You were in an accident. You were hi-jacked. You were taken hostage in an armed robbery somewhere. You were lying in a ditch, riddled with bulletholes. And then the one thought which managed to send me over the edge just a little.......You're an ex-gangsta right? So what if some of your old buddies found you?

At about 10 i finally surrendered to the feelings of paranoia which had been nagging at the edge of my mind all day and i phoned your best friend. He didn't know where you were either...but he promised to try your home number as well as a couple of other places you might be...sweet sweet boy he is. I managed to calm myself down a little after that, but the frantic call I received 15minutes later threw me back into the pits of paranoia. He couldn't find you. Your home phone just rang, so did your cellphone, and nobody knew where on earth you could possibly be. Everybody was under the impression you were having coffee with me.

Needless to say I didn't sleep very well:-( I looked like crap this morning and couldn't pull off my normal trick of spending literally 30seconds on make-up. I had to do some damange control. I've been jumpy all morning, and everytime the phone rings i expect it to be someone telling me that you were dead, that i had to come see you in some obscure hospital, that your old buddies were demanding a ransom that we couldn't pay.

Then, when you finally did phone this afternoon i didn't know whether i wanted to hug you or slap you! You forgot your phone in a friends you couldn't phone, and you spent the whole night in a hospital with a friend who had a car accident last you didn't pitch. I'm still not quite sure whether i'm upset or just relieved that you are OK.

I have to give you credit for the way you apologized and for the big bunch of flowers you promised. But please dude, don't ever do this to me again OK? The last 20 hours have been sheer hell for this here little girl. You see, i'm one of those people who have to fuss over other people. I worry about them all the time and do nice things for them because i like to make people feel special. So do you understand how your little disappearing act sent me into "freak out" mode?

Anyway, firstly...apology accepted. Even if i didn't feel like forgiving you(which i do) i'd seem like an utter biatch if i didn' were at a hospital with a friend after all. Secondly, yes, i suppose i could reschedule and go out for coffee with you....but just remember that a woman's memory is like an elephant. We never forget. So the fact that you stood me up, noble and heroic as your reason might have been, will unfortunately haunt you forever. You're gonna have to work really hard to get my mind past that one:) See you tonight!



P.S. I hope your friend is OK?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Dear DJ

Pretty soon you'll be getting married, and I realise that the day that happens all ties between us will finally be severed. Well, I suppose not all ties. We'll still be friends, but the special bond we shared will be history forever.

The point of no return with regards to the end of our relationship was passed the day I had to find out from my best friend that you were engaged. Engaged????? I was completely freaked out by it. I wasn't even aware that you guys were back together....we were out just a couple of nights before.....we had unfinished business....we had unfinished affairs and we had an unfinished story.

I guess we'll never have the time to complete that story now. So I'll write the letter to replace the happy ending which should have been.

I think I've mentioned before that I have not been in love very many times in my life. You my dear, were one of the few. I will never ever forget the night we met and the absolute confusion in my mind as to why for the first time in my life I was at a loss for words(this does not happen very often) and my state of complete witlessness was disturbing to say the least.

Your devotion and love caught me completely off guard and for the first time in a very long time I was completely and utterly whipped. I even tuned to your station to listen to you do the breakfast show. A really really big thing, since i professed my hate of your employer the day I met you, and I vowed to never listen to it...not even for you.

You made me laugh, love, cry, hope, happy and sad all at the same time. You scared me, but also made me feel safe and cherished. You shared my love of music, poetry and writing, and you promised me a story.....our story.

My parents were elated when they found out who the mysterious young stranger of my dreams were, and you were accepted into the family in an instant. Friends were amazed at how dependant i became of your presence and your, the little miss know it all who can do anything on her own.

My future looked rosy and the life we were planning seemed perfect. But the stress and the toll of our busy lives eventually removed the rosy sunglasses of love from our eyes and we started seeing each other for who we really were. Even so we were perfect together and we braved the unbreachable gaps between our schedules and our lifestyles.

Spending time together became difficult and rare as you were working during early morning and were off during most of the day and couldn't stay out too late, while i worked during the day and could only party at night. We finally decided that for the time being we had to call it the romance department anyway. Quality time had become almost impossible as we both climbed the ladder of success in our careers. We were lovers no longer, but friends with a special bond....who sometime forgot that they were supposed to be only friends.

Then suddenly my little world was shattered. You were engaged and our story was over, before it could even make a proper start. I think the thing that hit me hardest was the fact that your fiance was your ex-girlfriend. The bloody nympho! The one who cheated on you repeatedly in the most awful way.

You say she has changed...but i know better. I see the way she looks at every single male in the room, I see the way she seeks a way to sneak away whenever your head is turned.....i see her treacherous nature, and there is nothing i can do.

For your sake, i sincerely hope that she has changed. For the first time in my life, I pray that I will be proven wrong. You're a decent guy, and you deserve the best. My wish for you is happiness and love. And should she not have changed, for your sake i pray that you will remain blind to this fact and that you will be happy.

A little piece of my heart will always belong to you. But this is the end of our story. Not a love story as was planned but a story of friendship, of love, of life, of tragedy and of bittersweet goodbyes.

I will forever cherish the moments we shared, and the memories we built. You showed me so many different sides of myself, and taught me just how strong and how weak I can be. You built me up after another had completely ripped me to shreds and for this i will forever be indebted to you. I hope that we shall remain friends forever on this journey. And though it may be the end of one story, I pray that it will be the beginning of another.


Your Ruby

Friday, January 25, 2008


Admittedly, usually a letter from me to you would have fallen somewhere between hate-mail or complaints. But today I have a whole different matter resting heavily on my heart. I want to thank you.

OK, you can stop laughing now and sit back down, I'm serious about this one. I would really like to thank you. I realise that even though most of you guys waste your time at work on all kinds of mundane things you probably haven't stumbled across my little collection of letters I'll give you an update.

On Wednesday i wrote a letter to a guy that has been stalking me. Not bothering me a little or appearing to be a little more interested in me than most other guys.....full on stalking. I was like a scared little mouse. After sitting around for a while, feeling like the proverbial sitting duck, I managed to work up some courage and became outraged. I refused to be the victim and took action.

First course of action:
Contacted his boss, spilled the beans, found out that I'm not the first and managed to get his ass fired.

I wasn't too thrilled at the idea of him being fired. I know this sounds really silly, but just try and put yourself in my position. He's already stalking me.....he's probably contemplating and planing my abduction and subsequent murder.....and now he has even more reason to hate me......GREAT!

Second course of action:
I finally mustered the courage to give you guys a ring. I didn't want to initially. I was afraid that i would be laughed at, ridiculed, accused of seeking attention and most of all that nothing will be done about it.

I was pleasantly surprised by the service i received. The officer i spoke to treated me with so much respect and made me feel like the most important person on earth. He didn't laugh, he didn't ridicule and he was outraged. Bless his little cotton socks!

Thanx to yours truly and the ever so sweet police officer, dear Mr Honda guy has been arrested. Apparently the cops have been looking for him for a while. *skipping and jumping around office in little victory dance*

So, this is just a little thank you note. Thank you for treating me with respect, for not making me feel like a paranoid little bitch and last but definitely not least for catching the moron who has been making my life a living hell.



Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dear Honda Biker guy

I am quite disturbed to find myself in a position where it is necessary to write a letter like this. But I can not keep quiet any longer. I am beginning to realise that I am not just being paranoid but that you are indeed stalking me. One word: STOP!

I have to admit that initially i was a tad flattered. Please note...a TAD! My friend and I were shopping around for a bike, for him. He let me tag along as I have a motorbike fetish, plus I'd be able to give him an objective, purely female view on how the bike looked, and how he looked on the bike. Visiting all the different bike shops was fun, and by the time we got to your dealership i was in a happy and carefree mood.

I suppose you guys must have found it quite entertaining and surprising to see a smashing young lady in her power suit, stiletto shoes and perfect hairdo jumping on every single bike you own, including the quads! Your initial interest was sweet and flattering, and had i known what it would result in I would have been a super biatch right from the start. But since i tend to see the best in people and situations, and i didn't expect to be rewarded for my niceness quite like this, i smiled and chatted like normal.

It started out innocent enough, but then you managed to get our company's telephone number from my friends finance application. The first call was odd, but not entirely freaky. You invited me to go on a breakfast run the following Saturday. A part of me was dying to go as i knew exactly which bike we would be allowed to take, but my rational and uber logical mind stayed in control and I graciously refused.

Unfortunately my obvious signs of disinterest and eventual disgust did not register. You kept on phoning....more than once a day. Then the other day you suddenly started calling me on my cellphone. I would just love to know how the hell you got my number!! cause my friend sure as hell didn't give it to you. This problem was solved easily enough by just barring your number. But today took the cake!

You know in which area I live!!!!! and since it's no where near my place of work, the only explanation is that you followed me. You followed me??? WTF?????? who gave you the right?? *trying really hard not to admit how downright scared and freaked out I am*

Dude, seriously....this has got to stop. I swear, the next time you phone or the next time i even suspect that you might be following me..I'll set the police on your ass! I said it to you over the phone and now I'm putting it in writing, trust me....i have the cops on speed dial. Just back off!!!



Monday, January 21, 2008

Dear Thieving artist

This is quite a difficult letter to write. Not because I don't have much to say or because bad things happened, but simply because this means that I have to be all mushy and self investigative and stuff. What brought this on you might ask? Well, you know my heart better than most, you've managed to make me realise it's OK to be a little dependant on someone and you phoned me over the weekend and made me think a little.

If I had to add all the times I've really been "IN LOVE" together, I won't even need to use all five my fingers on the one hand. I've really LIKED a lot of guys, but very seldom have I fallen in love. There was the "The guy who made me the other woman", the DJ, the guy with the smile.....and You.

You, the surfer/artist/poet with the ice blue eyes, bleached blond hair, keen gaze, artist hands, unmeasurable deepness and highly intellectual mind. You became a thief in a second and you've somehow managed to return only some of the treasure you stole.

You met me when I was at my worst! It was about 3 weeks after my accident. I was bedridden, a little depressed, bored out of my mind and seriously dishevelled. I had to rely on other people to at least try and to something with my hear, i was wearing "leisure clothes" which mainly meant stuff i could fit over all the casts, boots and guards i was wearing. I looked quite dreadful actually. But you pitched up at my folks' house with one of my lifelong friends. You had joined him in the beautiful little country town for the weekend and was dutifully visiting his porcelain doll friend(they way he keeps referring to me).

In that second you walked in my door something just....well, clicked, i guess. I spent more time talking to you that weekend than i spent talking to me friend(bad friends we are). But you had to go back and that was that. We spoke over the phone every now and again, but we were simply friends checking up on one another.

Then, last year it happened. We went camping together and the thing we had been ignoring for so looooong suddenly reared it's head again. And we were only to happy to oblige. Friends we were no longer......we weren't in a relationship..we were just having fun. Or so we thought. Then you phoned a couple of weeks later. Shouldn't we try this long distance thing? We could fly across once a wouldn't be so bad.....and like a fool i believed you and said yes.

But i soon realised I'm not my brother. How on earth he managed to date and engage over two continents i could never understand. The 700km's just wasn't working for me and I called it off. In the nicest way possible. Some called me a fool, and others applauded me for my honestly so early in a relationship. The truth of the matter is.........I love attention. And I couldn't stand not having my guy withing a reasonable distance. I don't need to see you everyday..but i wanna know that if i needed to see you...well, i could!

Now we are back to just being really good friends. I speak to you on a twice weekly basis. We share everything. But this weekend was different. You didn't have all that much to say. You simply wanted me to move to where you are. You are miserable without missed me.

I have to admit that for a short while I did consider the possibility of moving. But I'm at a stage in my life where I've discovered who I really am...and I love that person. I love my job, my friends, my little house and my life here. And i realise that one day when i meet the right person or when I'm ready to settle down that I'll have to give some of that up, or at least compromise. But I'm not ready to settle down yet. And I'm not ready to give all of that up yet.

I don't want my future husband to expect me to give everything up....but i sure as hell wanna feel as if I would gladly give it up should it be needed. And to be quite honest......I'm not there yet.

I don't regret telling you that I couldn't. I don't regret telling you that I can't do this long distance thing. I know myself too well. And maybe I am full of crap when it comes to guys, and maybe I did pass up on the best thing that's ever happened to me. But sitting here this morning I realised that I made the best decision i possibly could. I'm not ready for this yet.

I don't know if the two of us will ever be together, or if we're even meant to be. But I do know this much. You will always hold a little piece of my heart firmly in your hands. That doesn't mean that I won't fall in love with someone else and give them all my love and devotion. It simply means that because you were one of the very few people who actually got to see my heart you will always have a special place.

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from on this. I know it's hard, and disappointing and it hurts. But thank you for not telling me to bugger off. For promising to be my friend and at least understanding with your head, even if you have trouble understanding with your heart.


Your Ruby

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Dear Mr PS

Today, as I sit in front of my little laptop tapping away, my heart is surprisingly heavy. There is a strange sort of hush around the office which, for once, has nothing to do with load shedding.

The news reached us yesterday. But at the time I just didn't feel up to writing/talking/thinking about it......i guess it had to sink in first. My boss asked me to come to his office, and I just knew something was completely wrong. His whole being was screaming it at me. You, my dear Mister PS had died.

In the past three years I have gotten to know you quite well. You were a merry old fellow, full of mischief, a lust for life, love of languages and people and plenty of time to make sure the people around you were happy. I met you as a little first year clerk, completely freaked out by the new world she was being subjected to, but you soon set my heart and head at ease.

The really sad thing is that you were the last person we were expecting this from. Apparently you fell and cut your foot, nothing serious right? wrong! The cut picked up a new version of bacterial infection, something called a super bug. Shortly after your minor fall you were admitted to hospital and placed on about 32 different success, as the super bug outlives them all.

A mere 3 weeks after your fall, you finally waved us all goodbye. Your death certificate says "Heart attack", but the truth of the matter is that you body just couldn't fight it anymore. It didn't have the power any more and simply gave up.

You have been one of my favourite clients and next time I show my little face at your company there will be an empty space in the office once filled with WW2 planes and family pictures. I hope that you rest in peace and that your family will be comforted in time.

It just goes to show. No matter how we live our lives, whether we are super healthy, super fit, obese, unhappy, fulfilled, loved or unloved.......when your time's up, your time's up. There are no second chances, no time for regrets and no looking back. I sincerely hope that you leave this earth without any regrets.

Life here at the office will go on. But you can be sure that your abundant phone calls and visits will be sorely missed by us all.



Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Dear friend

I did not think your little e-mail stunt this morning was very funny! It was scary and and could have been damn near fatal. I'm still recovering from the hyperventilation and the sudden panic attack. To say i was hysterical would have been an understatement.

You and I have established the fact that I am literally scared to death of anything with eight legs.........spiders! Therefore by supplying me with EXHIBIT A caused a slight bit of havoc in my office to say the least.

My usual rational self has become wrought with paranoia and unusually suspicious behaviour.

I would appreciate it if you would in future refrain from including me in such acts of total violence on arachnaphobes.

Yours in sincere panic



Monday, January 14, 2008

Dear little food poisoning causer thingies

Seriously guys! Has anyone ever told you that you have a terrible job, you are most unwelcome and you are actually quite hated and despised????

Who likes having food poisoning on a bloody Friday night? Especially when they have a fantastic weekend planned? You're a bunch of selfish little buggers aren't you? You only think about yourself when you make someone sick. Couldn't just for once have asked permission to give someone food poisoning?

There I was on Friday, minding my own business. Going to the movies with an ex(who is now a good friend), having fun, not being all unhealthy and eating all kinds of fast food crap. I opted to rather have supper at home before I leave, as this will minimize the amount of garbage I eat at the movies. It worked like a charm. Anyway, ex C took me home, we had tea, he went home, I went to bed...and then it happened. You little idiots ambushed me!!!

I'm not a person who falls asleep easily, so as i was lying in bed, trying to reach the high way to dreamland, I suddenly didn't feel all that great. I was overcome by wave after wave of nausea. Now I realise that most people really dislike throwing up, being nauseous etc. Take that dislike and times it by about 10 000....I never throw up! I hate it! My mom always use to say that if I did throw up(maybe a total of 5 times in my lifetime) i had to be really really sick.

So i just lay there in bed trying to control it. But alas! sometimes whatever is in just has to get out. So i did end up in the bathroom. And to my utter disgust it just didn't stop. I couldn't even attempt to get out of the bathroom. At last, to your entertainment i suppose, i ended up fetching a blanket and a pillow and i simply stayed in the loo the whole bloody night! Gosh i really really hate you guys!!! I've never had food poisoning before...but don't you ever dare knocking on my door again you hear!

The really gross thing was, is that as I was sitting there I really couldn't help wondering where all this came from???? I mean seriously, I didn't eat all that much on Friday???? and then I had this flashback to some comedian who did this thing on the stomach when one starts drinking. And then at some point the tequila always shows up...and they're going "we don't want no trouble", and finally a fight breaks out in your stomach and he shouts that everybody has to leave, and then there is this hot dog, that shouts "This is ridiculous....I've been here for 9 years!"
Can anybody help me out as to who the comedian is?? and what that piece is called?

Disgusting as this my sound, I found it quite entertaining at 4am while I was sitting in the loo with blanket and pillow calling George all night. I finally got the courage to creep back to my bed at about 8am...where i finally fell into an exhausted coma while daring you little idiots to make me call George again. I only woke up at about 4, feeling absolutely crap mind you, and thought that i might be dehydrated. I fell into your trap...silly Ruby! so i tried some black rooibos tea. But that didn't work so well and after feeling that George must be getting really tired of me shouting his name the whole time finally fell asleep again.

I suppose in the long run I've shown you guys a thing or two though. Most of my friends stay sick a whole lot longer when they have food poisoning. I'm back at work, and although I'm slightly low on energy, I manage to consume a little bit of food this morning without feeling the need to call for George's help. So eat that you little buggers!

Gosh how i hate you! Please please please, never ever ever come to this house again!!! You'll be really really sorry!!!!!


P.S. Consider this my first hate mail

Friday, January 11, 2008

Dear Big Brother

So how has the States been? Married life treating you well? Enjoying the new job? Enjoying the new car?

You are celebrating you birthday on Sunday. And as I'm not completely sure whether I'll be able to e-mail you on Sunday, I decided to drop you a quick note just to say happy happy, tons of blessing, love to the family and that I love you. Your birthday card is in the mail, but I suspect it will show up a tad late, as I only managed to get it in the post this week.

To my utter disgrace I couldn't hold back the tears as I was writing the mail. I just couldn't help myself. It was just one of those times where the tears manage to sneak up on you, and before you realise it your mascara is running and your face is all wet, and you can't see the computer screen properly. Gosh, I'm such a ninny! I'm quite sure you would have been laughing your head off if you had seen me....but only to hide your own emotion, I'm sure.

We have always been close the two of us. Yes yes, I know, we had our fair share of fights as youngsters, but as we grew up and you left for uni we came to realise that we love each other. You, the older brother who despite having a black belt in karate at age 11 doesn't believe in violence, but quite gladly beat a guy to absolute mince meat for shoving me around.

You've been my mentor, comfort, protector, soundboard, partner in crime and best friend for so many years. I find it odd that even though I missed you when you spent 4 years working in the UK, it was nothing in comparison to how I've missed you the past year.

I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that you are now married, to an American, that you've received your green card, that you have a great job, and that I've since realised that this time it's more permanent. While in the UK there was always the fact that you were coming back home to look forward to, which I supposed fooled us into missing each other less. Now however, the chances of you coming back are small. Sure, you guys plan to come visit every once in 2 years, and I'm planing a couple of trips. But i have to live with the knowledge, that never again will we be able to spend the carefree time of our youth together. We're both a whole bunch older, your married and your baby sister is a boss for crying out loud.

I'm so glad you found a girl who loves you so much that her face positively shines whenever she sees you. I'm grateful that she shares your passion and vision and that her family has embraced you and treats you like a prince.

Once again I find myself wiping tears from my face. Damn! I hate it when i become all soft and mushy! Now, before I start crying my little heart out because I miss you so much it actually sorta hurts.

Happy Birthday! I hope this year exceeds your expectations. That you'll be happy and incredibly blessed. And of course.....I can't wait for you guys to come visit in March

Lots of love


Thursday, January 10, 2008

Dear dude with the flower

Gosh! I don't know what to say! I do not usually suffer of the thing called "a loss for words" but today I am. I suppose thank you would be in order. But that is where i get stuck. I hope this letter of thanks and the big smile on my face this morning was enough.

This morning I overslept ever so slightly...most probably due to the fact that I was at a party last night and only got home really late...but I suppose it might have had something to do with the weather, or some other mundane incident during the night...who knows and who cares. The fact is I overslept, and I'm never in a very happy mood when i oversleep.

I hurried through my morning routine at an alarmingly fast pace and managed to leave the house no more than 10 minutes later than usual(well done rubes!!!!). It was raining, traffic was bad, there were 4 accidents on route, i forgot that i had to fill up my tank before i left for work so that made me even later...all in all, the morning was pretty crap, i was in a somber mood due to this and the world looked miserable.

then suddenly as I waited rather impatiently at the traffic light there was a soft knock on my window. dude!!! you can be so glad i didn't have my pepper spray right there with me like i usually would have felt like dying!!! you don't just knock on people's car windows when they are waiting at a traffic light! that's dangerous business!

anyway, after regaining control of my heartbeat and realising that you looked harmless enough and noticing the odd thing you were holding in your hand, i opened the window. You held out the object to me, smiled from ear to ear and solemnly pronounced "you're so pretty......please take this flower, i just picked it in my garden"

I was flabbergasted! my jaw dropped, i dumbly took the flower while mumbling a thank you and then you turned around and returned to your gate, went in and closed it. You had given a strange girly a couple of garden flowers while she was waiting at the traffic light just like that!

You will never know this....but today you have become a little hero:) My day brightened considerably. I sang all the way to work, managed to go through it with very little trouble, and I even managed to start enjoying this whole "being the boss" thing.

Today has been a marvelous day....all thanx to you sir. The little bunch of flowers are proudly standing on my desk for all to see. Especially me, so that i can remember how wonderful life really is...even when you've overslept



Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Dear 2nd in command and big bossman

I suppose this isn't really a proper letter, it's more like a memo which is addressed like a letter...or something to that effect.

I do realise that you guys will only be getting this on Monday but i need HELP!!!!!!! You guys can't just decide to be sick or pack up and leave for the week and leave me in absolute control of everyone!!!!! I've only been doing this job for 2 and a half days! Where am I supposed to find everything and organize clients, and employees, disgruntled bookkeepers and the locksmith coming to fix our lock after the didn't even bother to tell me he's if he's charging you a fortune unnecessarily Mr Bossman....its your own fault for not telling me he's coming and what exactly he's supposed to do.

*breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breath in, breathe out* OK, I'm fine now. I suppose I'm gonna have to start coping with this now......i am after all now a boss *giggle* and third in command of the company. I can do this...I know I know I can. I suppose you wouldn't have given me the job and left me alone on my third day if you didn't think I could do it.

OK, never mind, crisis averted.



Monday, January 7, 2008

Dear Baby Mel

Welcome to the family sweetheart! You are now a full 3 months old and curious about the world around you. You are one gorgeous baby by the way.......and as babies go I suppose you're not too bad....even your auntie Ruby can stand to have you around for the most part.

My heart is however quite saddened every time I hold your sweet little hand, or look into those big blue eyes. You have no idea of what the life ahead holds for you. You are the child of a single mother, who has no job, cannot look after herself, drops you onto everybody's lap but her own at every chance she gets, who smokes like a chimney while breastfeeding and who is but a child herself.

You were unplanned, an accident, not wanted initially and a little girl who will never know who her father is, as you mommy has no clue. But do not think bad of your mother.......she is doing the best she can, and I will give her plenty credit for that. The decision to keep you was a big and mature decision to begin with.....and while looking at the bigger picture I don't think she's doing too bad of a job. She's trying her best, her mother is helping out a whole lot and the whole family has gathered around our little angel baby. We love you dear!

My cousin, your mommy, is starting her brand new job today. I phoned her this morning to see how she's doing.....she was heartbroken at having to leave you at the lady who is looking after you. But you're a happy little baby and didn't even cry once. You'll be just we just have to try and convince your crying little mommy of this.

Everybody was shocked and I suppose a little disappointed when we hear about your mommy's lifestyle and that she was pregnant with no idea of who the father was. But we love her. She's a sweet little thing and packed the bull by the horns when it came to facing the consequences. I wasn't disappointed just flabbergasted that in this day and age with AIDS and all, that some people still refuse to use birth control pills, condoms(don't worry about not knowing what these are yet) etc when having a little fun. What on earth was she thinking??? Not only did she have to cope with the fact that she was pregnant......she also had to cope with the trauma of going for HIV testing.

But of course, then your little angel face showed up after 9 months. And although some of the aunts and uncles had up until that time felt saddened and angry about her situation, all those feelings were lost the moment they laid eyes on you. And you charmed all of them....even the most grumpy. You're mommy will have to buy a shotgun when you get a little older!!!!

I just have one piece of advice for you. Regardless of how sweet you are, and how cute you are or how you laugh and hold out your little arms when you see me......crying your auntie Ruby awake at half past 5 on Christmas morning is just not on!

Lots of love, hugs and kisses

Auntie Ruby

Dear 2008

As I was kissing and hugging dear old 2007 goodbye on her deathbed it suddenly occurred to me that it might be a brilliant idea to send you little, baby 2008 a letter containing some advice for the year to come.

2007 was a darling old thing. She taught me plenty of hard lessons, caused many a tear to fall, but also brought along many good times, laughter, romance, brushes with millionaires, radio dj's, R2 000 bottles of champagne and a circle of cyber friends. She also brought along the end of an articles finished, I moved out of the commune and into my own little pad and the end of the first quarter.

I hope that you will follow in 2007's footsteps and continue to make me feel like a spoilt little brat when it comes to all the blessings I have received. Feel free to teach me a couple of important lessons, but if it is at all possible to do so with less tears and heartache than used by 2007, it would be highly appreciated.

I hope that you will bring me a fabulous year in my new position, that work will continue to be a pleasure and a passion (for the most part anyway), that my friends will continue to build into my life as they have in the past, that my gran will continue to be healthy and full of spunk even though she is getting quite old, that my parentals will have a fantastic and blessed year......seriously, they deserve it hey!

Gosh..there is so much that I could ask you for, advise you on and set out as guidelines.......but the truth is that doing that would spoil all the fun and surprises to come. So I'll only say this. I am a very blessed little girl, and I am grateful that I have a job I am passionate about, a car that runs, a house to live in(however small it might be), decent food to eat, that I have been able to continue to be a shoe and handbag hoe, that I have a family that loves me, friends that treasure me and treat me with respect, and that I have plenty of hope and love in this here little heart. So all I ask of you is that you use that as a guideline for the year to come, OK?