Friday, January 11, 2008

Dear Big Brother

So how has the States been? Married life treating you well? Enjoying the new job? Enjoying the new car?

You are celebrating you birthday on Sunday. And as I'm not completely sure whether I'll be able to e-mail you on Sunday, I decided to drop you a quick note just to say happy happy, tons of blessing, love to the family and that I love you. Your birthday card is in the mail, but I suspect it will show up a tad late, as I only managed to get it in the post this week.

To my utter disgrace I couldn't hold back the tears as I was writing the mail. I just couldn't help myself. It was just one of those times where the tears manage to sneak up on you, and before you realise it your mascara is running and your face is all wet, and you can't see the computer screen properly. Gosh, I'm such a ninny! I'm quite sure you would have been laughing your head off if you had seen me....but only to hide your own emotion, I'm sure.

We have always been close the two of us. Yes yes, I know, we had our fair share of fights as youngsters, but as we grew up and you left for uni we came to realise that we love each other. You, the older brother who despite having a black belt in karate at age 11 doesn't believe in violence, but quite gladly beat a guy to absolute mince meat for shoving me around.

You've been my mentor, comfort, protector, soundboard, partner in crime and best friend for so many years. I find it odd that even though I missed you when you spent 4 years working in the UK, it was nothing in comparison to how I've missed you the past year.

I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that you are now married, to an American, that you've received your green card, that you have a great job, and that I've since realised that this time it's more permanent. While in the UK there was always the fact that you were coming back home to look forward to, which I supposed fooled us into missing each other less. Now however, the chances of you coming back are small. Sure, you guys plan to come visit every once in 2 years, and I'm planing a couple of trips. But i have to live with the knowledge, that never again will we be able to spend the carefree time of our youth together. We're both a whole bunch older, your married and your baby sister is a boss for crying out loud.

I'm so glad you found a girl who loves you so much that her face positively shines whenever she sees you. I'm grateful that she shares your passion and vision and that her family has embraced you and treats you like a prince.

Once again I find myself wiping tears from my face. Damn! I hate it when i become all soft and mushy! Now, before I start crying my little heart out because I miss you so much it actually sorta hurts.

Happy Birthday! I hope this year exceeds your expectations. That you'll be happy and incredibly blessed. And of course.....I can't wait for you guys to come visit in March

Lots of love

Sussie

7 comments:

Nosjunkie said...

Rubs I dont know how you feel I doubt that I ever will... be glad that you have a brother that is close enough to you to be missed this much.
my only sister and I live next door to one another and almost never talk and when we do we fight so cry your eyes out hunny...if you must cry it may as well be about something as special as a brother

Natalie said...

Rubes, that is such a cute, sweet and mushy letter! I can't believe how much we have in common! I have an older brother who also has a black belt in karate and has also been married for almost a year!LOL. I miss my bro too! (weep weep)

SonnyVsDan said...

I think this letter resounds so much further than you would think.

I little brother and I were so argumentative and violent growing up, only to realise it was because we were so close.

Now we call each other for advice, we talk through our major problems together - I couldn't live without him now. But alas - he is on the other side of the country - and that's a long way away...

sweetass RSA said...

my eldest bro also lives in the US... i haven't seen him for 5 years... i don't want to talk about it... it's too sad ;(

KaB said...

ah man...so sweet!

Hey...at least you have somewhere to stay in the big US of A & he can show you around...look at it positively :) it's a perk!

I always wanted an big brother but my big sister makes up for everything :) At least I know she'll knock some guy's block off if he ever fucks around with me...siblings...they rock worlds :)

Happy, happy Ruby's boetie!

Ruby said...

Nosjunkie - that's so sad, and my heart really aches for you. I sincerely hope that somewhere along the line you guys will discover that sibling bond. It's an amazing feeling!

Nats - No way! "cute, sweet and mushy" I suppose I have my moments:)

Sonny - You don't mind if i call you that do you? That is so cool! even though my brother and I are obviously very different because he's well, a brother and i'm a sister(LOL) its amazing how much advise we give each other:)
It's tough when your best friend is so far away hey? I'm so glad that you guys could discover the closeness as you grew older...it's special aint it?

SweetAss - *Hugs* I'm with ya!

KaB - I know! isn't it fab? and we already used that privelege when we went across for the wedding and the accompanying holiday:) And yes, they sure do!

angel said...

oh ruby... i would miss my siblings dreadfully if they moved so far from me, i can imagine how you cried writing this letter!