Wow! what an insane morning....and insane relates to everything about it...not just the amount of work that had to be completed by lunch time.
This morning I've been up and down an insane emotional roller coaster, teetering on the brink of what i can now call a bit of an emotional meltdown, which finally ended in a flood of tears in the bathroom. Now let the record reflect, I don't often cry....I've only cried at work twice before...both of those were for valid reasons, bursting into uncontrollable tears for no apparent reason at work is not really my style.
That being said, sometimes having a good cry is the best medicine in the world. It serves as an outlet for bottled up emotions and stresses that we don't always realise we have. For me....crying and admitting that I was emotionally tired and shattered was a good thing. I'm feeling a million times better, have a genuine smile on my face and it feels like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
I've decided to make a list of things that i noticed/learned this morning. A list i can keep and use to remind myself when i need some reminding.
1. My eyes go insanely green when I've cried. Yes, i realise this is totally random and unimportant and i really don't need to remember this point...but i observed it today for the first time. Some form of beauty in the pain or something i guess.
2. Being there for friends is very important, but you need to remember that all the energy they sap from you needs to be replaced and the emotional turmoil you absorb needs to find an outlet in your mind....if you don't work through this stuff regularly they do result in little melt downs like this morning
3. I have an amazing boss.....Upon seeing my teary eyes earlier he gave me a hug and asked if i was OK...he then had the decency to accept my teary smile and nod and go on with our meeting as if having red eyes just happen to be the latest fashion accessory
4. My best friends are the most awesome beings in the whole entire world. They love and accept me for who I am. And regardless of what nonsense may spout forth from my mouth, they just take it all in stride. Thank you:)
5. A simple one word sms like, *hugs*, from a friend can have a huge impact on how you're feeling.
6. I do believe parents are waaaay underrated. Mine are the absolute best...and a long talk with mommy letters after said melt down did me the world of good.
7. Try and avoid putting yourself into stressful situations, such as having to move out of your current home by the end of the month while still not having anywhere to go. That being said....I'm viewing a place that sounds lovely after work today....please please please hold thumbs and pray that it's awesome:)
8. Bottling up emotions really isn't the wisest course of action....ever.
9. You need to accept that you can't fix everything. You can't feed all the hungry people, you can't help every abandoned child, you can't take away the heartache that friends are experiencing....all you can do is be there.
10. There are times when my faith and hope are the only things i have to hold on to....I'm grateful for both of these
11. It's OK to have little meltdowns every now and again, just don't make a habit of it OK?
Anyhoodle...i just wanted to remind you.....You're loved and cared for, and if you're wearing your rubyshoes you can accomplish anything. Chin up:)
The practical Ruby