Monday, November 30, 2009

Dear AG

Wow! I can’t believe you’re gone. That I will never again hear your bell like giggle, your often strange but sound advice, your stories....that i will never again be able to give you a hug and tell you that you are special.

My heart aches so much, and at the same time I’m grateful that you were not subjected to months of pain and suffering. You were a strong, courageous and spirited woman, and that is how i wish to remember you.

A couple of years ago you were diagnosed with breast cancer. Our family is particularly high risk when it comes to this type of cancer, and we were all afraid for you, but praying and rooting that much like my gran you would beat it. You were shattered when the doctors informed you that you would have to have a double mastectomy. I don’t think any of us understands the emotions a woman has to deal with when it comes to losing both her breasts.....it is so much a part of what makes us sensual and so much emphasis is put on it as part of the female form that i think it is an incredible scary thing to face. The fear that your husband would never look at you the same, that you wouldn’t feel feminine and sensual.....those are fears that I pray i never have to face.

But your husband was an angel and helped you to face this thing head-on. The operation was followed with months of intensive chemo therapy.....your strength was stretched to its limits. But, the cancer went into remission....and we all rejoiced with you. Your check ups went well and your results were always clear and good. No sign of the cancer coming back. Then 2 weeks ago you suddenly became violently ill. Nobody knew what was wrong. Nobody suspected. You had been to your check up recently, and your results were clear and good.....it was the last thing we suspected.

By last week Friday the cancer had returned so violently and aggressively.......they discovered a brain tumor, a tumor in your eye, both your liver and your kidneys absolutely devoured by it. This morning you quietly passed away...leaving behind your husband and your 2 darling children. But even in your darkest moments you were a joy and a strength to us all. Being strong and courageous and peaceful.

My heart aches, but I am grateful that you did not suffer long. That you were at peace when it was your time to go. We comfort ourselves in knowing that you’ve gone home and that someday soon we will all be reunited, in a place where cancer does not exist.

You are a beautiful woman, loved and adored by all of us, and you shall be missed. Rest in peace.

Love

Ruby

xxxxxxxxxx

11 comments:

acidicice said...

*cries* Strongs girl

Squidsquirts said...

Sorry for your loss, R.
(hugs).

Tamara said...

Oh Ruby, I'm so sorry. Sending you my biggest hugs and praying God's wisdom, grace and peace upon you and AG's family.

AngelinAfrica said...

Lovely letter. Big hugs.
x

momcat said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Being Brazen said...

*big hugs *

S A said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon said...

Big hugs to you hon xxx

Sally-Jane said...

I am so sorry for your loss, No words can make the pain better but I hope knowing we love you and are here for you helps.

angel said...

Big hugs Ruby darling.

Ruby said...

You guys are amazing!!! Thank you so much for all the hugs and thoughts...they were so much appreciated. Thank you for support and kind words. We're doing ok. Had a couple of rough and super emo days, but sunshine seems to have returned to my life:)

Much love!!!!!!