Thursday, April 3, 2008

Dear Druggie friend

As I started to formulate this letter in my mind, something profound occured to me. I need to find friends who don't do drugs, don't try to commit suicide because of any random thing that happens and generally have as little issues as I do. If I don't I might possibly go totally insane.

I find it really hard to write this letter. My heart is once again breaking for someone else who can't cope with life, have nothing to live for and generally believes that there are too few people in the world who really and truly care. My heart is breaking for you sweetface.

I was enjoying a wonderful evening of cheese, cracker, wine, hubbly and all round good company when the chilling news reached me. The moment i saw the 5 missed calls from your housemate on my phone I knew something was up. I called back, and the devestating news sent me reeling. You were in hospital, unconscious, barely breathing...you had OD'd.

Your housemate was completely hysterical and I tried my best to calm him down...desperately pushing down the fear and tears to the pitt of my stomach...i had to be strong. For him, for you, for your parents. He was in no state to contact everyone who needed to be notified. So I soldiered on....calling friends I haven't spoken to in ages and comforting strangers as best I could.

When I was finally able to put down the phone I realised to my complete astonishment that I was crying. You know as well as I do that I hardly ever cry. I was furious at you for being the cause of those tears, and upset that I hadn't seen it coming. My evening was ruined for the most part, but i tried to put on a brave face. No need to spoil everybody else's evening right. *Insert link here* Friend who discovered my blog noticed something was up right away...and I hated the fact that my tears would cause her to worry. I suspect she worries about me too much, but I suppose that's what friends are for:) She alerted Jack to the situation as soon as I left the room, realising that i had forgotten to phone your best friend living in East London.

Jack was quick to hug and comfort, but stood in awe of the fact that I was actually crying...which of course made me cry a little more..knowing that I didn't have to be all that strong did me the world of good.

You briefly opened you eyes late on friday night, but only woke up sometime saturday afternoon. I was overjoyed and at the same time I was furious! What on earth were you thinking? You're refusing to tell us whether the OD was on purpose or accidental, which tells me it was on purpose. What could have gone wrong to make you resort to this? Why have you gone back to using drugs anyway? I thought you left all of that behind you a long time ago. You're better than this friendster.

I started writing this letter because i wanted to give you a piece of my mind. But I can't. I just can't cope with the emotional stress of dealing with this right now. I'm glad you're OK. I'm glad that you've agreed to go to counceling sessions as soon as they discharge you tomorrow and i'm really glad you've agreed to spend some time in a rehab centre. I just wish that it didn't have to come to this.

You're in my prayers my friend

Love
Ruby

P.S. Still no luck on the edit toolbar...so if you have a problem with my spelling and such it's exactly that....your problem

15 comments:

Bridget said...

First ... I hate it when you're upset. You upset me.

But I am glad your friend is OK and I am glad you were there for him even though you were angry.

Hugs my friend.

Big hugs!

Ruby said...

sos hun...but thanx for being upset on my behalf:)

*receiving hugs* I'm glad he's OK too, allthough I would gladly have throttled him on friday night.

Natalie said...

*On the spelling thing- You are such a cheeky chop Rubes!
* I am so glad your friend is okay, jeepers it must be so difficult to deal with things like that. You are a wonderful friend Rubes.

The Divine Miss M said...

My thoughts are with you and your friend.

I hope that whatever pushed him to that drastic action manages to get sorted.

*big hugs*

Ruby said...

Nats - a cheeky chop i def am hun;) or maybe a cheeky choplette rather....:) I try to be the best friend i possibly can, but sometimes it's hard and i wish i could just send them on there messed up way and be done with it....unfortunately it doesn't work like that...i love them too damn much..*sigh*

Miss M - Thanx sweety! I hope so too

Elise said...

Ruby! ~Big Hug~

I'm glad your friend is okay. It must have been awful for you.

Hopefully some good might come out of this though. It may inspire your friend to sort out a bad habit.

xx

Ruby said...

thanx hun:) You know what i just realised?? half the stuff i write here is sadness;( usually for other people, not myself, but sadness never the less. It's well....sad really

Lopz said...

Holding thumbs that he's ok, and that you and all the people who care about him can stay strong. I know what it's like to love a drug addict, and it sucks, I can't really put it better than that. Hope this story has a happy ending. xxx

Globus said...

rubes, we all need an outlet from time to time. just remember to keep smiling - as it's a lot better than crying!

sweets said...

it's totally unfair. just remember you can't save everybody... i know that sounds horrible but you have to look out for yourself, don't get gobbled up, you can't change them... doesn't mean you're not their friend anymore though... sorry don't want to sound harsh...

((hugs))

Ruby said...

Lopz - yeah, it really sucks;( He seems to be doing OK tho. It really hard, since he's all the way in Cape Town.

Globus - Thanx sweety;) i just broadened that gorgeous smile of mine, just for you;p

sweets - its not harsh hun...its true. I've come to the conclusion that the only real issues i have in life aren't even mine...they are other people's issues that i shoulder around. I guess i'm gonna have to learn to let people make their own mistakes and not to worry so much.

angel said...

sorry bout the toolbar crap... i also have it every now and then. usually rebooting gets me sorted out again, but not always!

angel said...

as for your friend...
...
...
...
i've never had a friend od, but i have had a friend try to commit suicide and my little sister is an alcoholic, currently 34 months sober.
i think one has to cut the apron strings eventually girl...

SonnyVsDan said...

Poor Rubes, and your friend. I always think this is harder on the friends though...

Champagne Heathen said...

Hmm. I've learnt to lack sympathy with the drug OD'ing "oh please help me" cries for help. Mainly because many of the people I know playing the hard-drug game are emotionally manipulative, and I was a sucker, and I am not in the mood for being suckered again.

Don't be suckered Rubes.
I don't know the situation, but be very careful on this, if it resembles the experiences I have had or know of.

It gives them a kick, because they got negative attention off you dropping your life to take charge of theirs, and you also got a kick out of it for helping out. Well, maybe not you, but I did... "look at me, being useful, being necessary and needed, being the good parenting person"... Be very weary.

Each person HAS to take responsibility for our own shite. You should never shoulder other people's shite, no matter who or what. The hardest lesson I am still learning. You can be there for someone, you cannot live life and the difficulties for someone