Dear Klein Kariba

Thank you so much for having us this weekend!!! We had so much fun. Lots of wine was consumed, lots of games were played, which included a lot of singing - to the entertainment of some of your other guests - and good friendships were once again sealed and deepened:)

I apologize if you received any complaints about the singing, but you see, one of the gentleman in our party made a rule during one of our games that every time you wanted to drink something you had to stand and sing a part of a song first. Needless to say, some of the people went slightly overboard with the singing...it was like Idols auditions times 2000!

It was awesome! We will certainly be joining you again soon

Regards

Ruby

Dear baby Arkwife

You sweet sweet girl! You haven't even made your way into the world and already you are being spoiled rotten....You go girl!!! On saturday we had a baby shower for your mommy to prepare her for your arrival....and man did you receive a lot of goodies:) Just proof that you are already loved and adored by all...we can't wait to finally meet you my love!

Here are pics of a few of the gifts I got you....there were a couple more, but I've had 9 months to shop and I <3 shopping for babies:)


Because our little darling will be smart:)


To go with the pair of Ruby shoes she got:)


Of course! a pair of magical Rubyshoes from her aunty Ruby


I couldn't resist!


Totally badass! See the knees!!!!!


Once again....I just couldn't help myself:)


I hope you and your mommy enjoy them!!!

Love

Auntie Ruby
xxxxxx

Dear Kalahari

It came!!!! Thank you so much for your speedy service in my hour of absolute mindless want:) Actually, to be fair, the books arrived last week, but due to my "at death's door" state of health, I was forced to let it stay at the post office until today. Here you can see the whole process of unwrapping my little package of joy. If you look carefully you'll notice the Twilight DVD in the background...I swear this was not on purpose, I only realised it afterwards.

Join me on my journey of discovery, opening the package and unpacking the books.....it's a beautiful box set with with lithographs and everything. *happy sigh*


Regards

Ruby
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Female slave

Now, we've been over this many times before. Over this specific thing and all the other really irritatingly stupid things you constantly do. I've come to the conclusion that you simply lack the ability to obtain any form of logic. That being said, let me explain this morning's problem to you again.

I wake up at 5:30 this morning with the following in my ears:"Who you tryin to get crazy with essay? Don't you know i'm Locco?????" (Is my sms tone). I'm still very much asleep and realise that it could be any number of people experiencing a life threatening crisis, or it could be bad news. So I sit up, grab the phone, by now convinced that something awful has happened to somebody i love, and to my utter disgust, I see your name. OK, so maybe you have a life threatening crisis, I decide to give you the benefit of the doubt and read it :"Hi Ruby,we dnt hv water.pls pls pls give me advice,frkng out,dunno wht 2 do.HELP!" (For the record, the spelling was copied exactly from the sms)

Totally miffed I put the phone down and attempted to get at least another half an hour of sleep. 20 seconds later :"Who you tryin to get crazy with essay? Don't you know I'm Locco?????". My irritation and fury knew no bounds as your name flickered on my screen....:"wht shud i do?wht shud i do???". Once again i ignore. 20 seconds later....you guessed it :"who you tryin...blah blah blah" I almost hurled my phone against my cupboard.

I didn't even bother reading your last message but sent a snotty reply telling you to use the little water left in the kettle to brush your teeth, or to drive to the nearest cafe/garage shop, buy a bottle of water and brush your teeth and wash your face and get your ass to work.

You still ended up coming to work over an hour late. You're excuse...we didn't have any water. ARGH!!!!! So let me explain this to you one last time. My phone number is not your local assistance hotline. The only reason you have it is to let me know when you are sick and can't come to work, when you are stuck in traffic and will be late for work, or when you are dead, in which case you won't be able to come to work. It is not to be used to solve life's mysteries, or to ask for stupid advice, when you don't even follow my advice to begin with. For the record, you have yet to use my number for any of the allowed reasons, as you usually just do as you please and don't let me know when you're late or sick. But oh, when you have a stupid question then you can't wait to use it.

Seriously...who on earth sms's or calls their boss to ask them what to do when they have no water??? AND at 5:30 in the bloody morning?????? oh sorry, I forgot, you do...cause you seem to be bereft of all logic, then i again, I guess logic can only exist when you have a brain.

This is officially the last time I'll be explaining it to you, let the record reflect that this is the 111th time I've done this(yes, I counted). Next time I'll just phone my Mafia connections, and they HATE being woken up at 5:30*evil grin*

Regards

Boss Ruby