Dear all

Once again i find myself in a position where I have to apologize for being awfully quiet.......jeepers, when does it end!

OK, so I've been awfully quiet since my "a decade of me" post, but things have been rather hectic. Today's post won't be long, it's only to inform you guys that I'm off on a mini-holiday to Mozambique.......all expenses paid...wooooohoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss Gym Bunny and 2 of here friends are going on a "business trip" to Mozambique......there was supposedly a fourth person but said fourth person has since pulled out and yesterday at 4 o'clock the arrangements were made. We leave tonight at 11, I haven't packed anything yet except my passport and camera. The rest of the stuff is small and mundane.

So....I'm off to enjoy a 3 day break filled with quad biking, swimming, cocktail drinking and lying in the sun.....for FREE! Sos, I just can't help repeating that part:)

I'll be back on Tuesday with a lovely letter to Mozambique filled with amazing stories and gorgeous pics.

Love

Ruby
xxxx

Dear Readers

Ok, so quite a few of the bloggers whose blogs I frequent have done this....and i refuse to call it a meme since I really hate meme's:) I liked it so much that i've decided to do it too. So here follows the last decade of my life:)

1998
I was in Grade 10 and madly in love with Mr Mysterious. Or wait, not really in love, just enchanted. He was tall, dark, handsome, mysterious, 2 years older than us and the object of every right minded girl in the school's fantacy. And out of all the girls in the school he chose me....i was ecstatic. We only dated for about a month......and we spent most of the time fighting...he was an absolute asshole! Not exactly ideal boyfriend material...my dad used to say :"Julle baklei meer as wat julle vry". But I was the envy of every single girl in school and at the time that was important. When I broke up with him he tried to beat me up.......my loyal friend Izak happened to be at the right place at the right time and Mr Mysterious didn't come to school for 2 days...nuff said! I won a gold at the National Science Expo for my project on Nuclear power.....yes yes, so i'm a bit of a geek, get over it! We won the youth drama festival, and I realised once again that I really wish it had been feasible to join a High School for fine arts, but this being South Africa I would have been poorer than poor had I done that.

1999
Won gold at the National Science expo for my project on Space Exploration. I decided to join CAM after school.........but my dad managed to talk me out of it, stating that after I completed my degree I could still go if I wanted to. It's a group for Christian Artists and Musicians. Got involved with a couple of guys, but nothing serious. It was a pretty uneventful year, as years go. I did however go to our provincial youth choir auditions for the fun of it at the end of this year, and to my absolute surprise and delight I was chosen. I spent the first week of my December holidays at a choir camp and met some of the most terrific and horrific people. I also met the guy I later dated...he was part of a set of identical twins.

2000
Matric!!!! My best school year ever. I missed most friday classes as I was always on my way to some or other concert, camp or practise. We receive a standing ovation at the National Youth choir festival, the only choir to receive this honour. We perform alongside the Drakensberg boys choir and I continued to meet all kinds of fabulous people along the way. A very good friend of mine looses her mom to cancer and my most favourite uncle in the world dies. I had a really hard time dealing with this as he was a very important part of my life. I dated the identical twin from the youth choir for a couple of months, but it was never very serious and as the year drew near to it's end we decided to call it quits. I had been registered to go and study to be a doctor, and at the end of October in my last year of school I woke up one morning and decided that I'd rather be a chartered accountant. My dad almost had a heart attack, the chances of being accepted for a totally different course at a totally different uni this time of year was impossible, but by the grace of God I was accepted at both the uni and the Res without any trouble.....and i Haven't looked back since. And then there was JG. Even after all these years i have to admit that he remains in a very special place in my heart. He had been in my class all through my high school years. Oh, and for the record, as I come from a very small town, i was also in a very small high school....I pretty much knew everybody from grade 8 through to 12. He was handsome as hell, brilliant academically, cricket star, rugby star....everybody's blue eyed boy. On the day that we were due to start our final exams he told me out of the blue that he loved me...I was both surprised and elated...but alas it wasn't meant to be. He was leaving to join Scas and I was leaving for Uni...we decided to let it go....but we never really did. I passed my matric with flying colours and 7 A's despite having missed so much school and study time and I obtain the dux highest academic honour award. (This just shouts nerd doesn't it??) oh, and I won a beauty pageant...which I swear I didn't enter voluntarily!

2001
I start my life as a student......awesome! I also meet my best and life long friend. We shared a room for 2 years, and together we suffered through initiation, RAG and party after party. I love you my chamber, still do! I'm invited to join Golden Key and to enjoy all the benefits related to it. I break my nose late one evening in an effort to help my bestest friend with her graphic design project...very very painful! It was the first and only year that I shared university life with my brother and I loved it. I truly have the best big brother any girl could ask for. This is also the year I meet Tiefie, who becomes the guy I will try and measure every other guy I ever meet against. We never dated, but we were and still are great friends....he's a bit of a famous musician at the moment:) JG visited my parents while I was at uni and left me little letters all over the house....this man really knows how to turn my heart to mush!

2002
This year consisted mostly of parties, parties and more parties. I organised two large rock shows, with great success I might add!, and met lots of famous musicians. I joined an acapella group and met Mr Chemist. These days he's a musician, but at the time he was studying to be a chemist. Blondie and I learnt how to go out with a total of R20 between us and how to return home, tired and full of drinks with our R20 in tact. My friends and I travel to PTA one evening for a party, and I ended up snogging a famous afrikaans artist...one that's kinda good looking mind you....because i lost a bet. Come to think of it........this wasn't a very eventful year. I worked as a promo girl for both SAB and USN, this meant lots of free stuff and lots of money...good times;)

2003
JG pitches up on Valentines day, with a big bunch of flowers, chocolates and a reservation at an expensive restaurant. He was studying at a varsity on the other side of the country at the time and I was completely taken by surprise. Seriously mushy, I know! Later in the year Mr Chemist and I dated and his ex-gf decided to "teach me a lesson". Lucky for me Mr Chemist noticed her following me into the ladies on the evening the whole uni was out and about celebrating the new Student council.....he was elected, yay!......and he ran in and saved the day. For the record, she was quite a bit bigger than me....i didn't stand a chance in a cat fight. It did however make me think about what I was getting myself into, and I opted for the safe route.....bye bye Mr Chemist! I organised a formal ball and invited JG to join me. He flew up from Uni.....such a gentleman. Travelled to Namibia with my Acapella music group and had tons and tons of fun! Cried crocodile tears when my brother left to go and work as a missionary in the UK....he ended up being there for 4 years. I became extremely sick and somewhere inbetween all the tests the doctor found out that among other things, apparently I can't get drunk. As soon as i got better I tested this little theory and managed to drink 8 shots of Straw rum before the guy I was drinking them with passed out. I was the most sober person at the club and took everyone home. I passed my degree with flying colours and was accepted to complete my CA honours degree, also known as CTA.

2004
I move out of Res and into a commune with my bestest friend, which we shared with6 guys. We had a blast. I tore all the ligaments in my right ankle in my first week back at uni and spent the first couple of weeks on crutches. The town in which my uni was situated was placed under quarentine due to an outbreak of menengitis. Some of our friends contracted it and died. It was a scary time for us and our families, as we weren't allowed to leave town, we weren't allowed to go to class and most of the town just kinda shut down for a while. Without realising it I became a good friend of yet another famous south african artist....I'm an idiot I know! I didn't recognize the dude until he actually told me he had to work and climbed on stage...i'ts a funny story:) I was made to be "the other woman" without my knowledge or consent, and if anybody wants to judge me for this, just go read this post first. I had my first ever stalker. I managed to juggle academics and my crazy social life and passed my CTA at the top of my class. I travelled back to Namibia, and this time I dragged the Parentals along.....I have truly fallen in love with the place and will gladly move there if the oppertunity arises:)

2005
I move to Jozi and start my first real job. Life as an audit clerk sucks....seriously! You work yourself to a standstill and you earn next to nothing. I lived with my aunt and uncle for 6 months and then moved into a house with some friends from church...all guys. Does anybody else see a pattern here? In the space of three days i managed to be involved in an attempted hi-jacking, break my foot and be involved in a minor car accident. I wasn't driving, my aunt was taking me to work, as I couldn't drive with my broken foot. I'm forced to deal with real life and real responsibility for the first time in my life......scary stuff I tell you. AK got married and it turned into a hell of a party, and three days later I had my car accident and lost 2 months of my life. This was probably the worst part of the last decade. I met Thieving artist for the first time, one of the only good things to come out of this.

2006
I bought a brand spanking new car! Seriously, I had the accident in September of 2005, but could only start driving again in January of 2006. My Gran turns 80 and all the family gathers together at Golden Gate for a celebration weekend, and all of us are nearly snowed in. My darling brother got engaged to a yankee girl, who turned out to be the most amazing sister I could ask for;) I met The Sorta Guy and had to say goodbye to him in the same year as he jetted off to the US for 8 months. I was almost arrested at the American Consulate......I have to tell you guys about this some time:) A building in the CBD of Jozi collapses on us, but through some kind of miracle i once again manage to escape quite unharmed, with only minor injuries as proof of my ordeal. I travel to the US of A for just over 5 weeks. Mainly to attend my brother's wedding, but as we had to spend all that money we turned it into a proper holiday. I fell in love with New York and received a job offer from a prestige firm in Manhattan.....the offer still stands.

2007
I meet and date the co-founder of a famous coffee shop chain. The relationship doesn't work out however as we don't share the same beliefs and dreams...we're still friends;) I meet DJ and realise that not everything works out the way we want it too. After 2 years and one big fight i finally decide to move out of the commune and I moved into my little house. I'm faced with a stalker for the second time in my life, but managed to deal with it...eventually. The sorta guy returns from the US only to turn back to his Drug addiction days...this nearly sent me over the edge and by the time he went to rehab voluntarily I was a nervous wreck. Blondie got married and I managed to squeeze together the money to travel to her wedding. I start blogging...yay!

2008
My article contract period finishes and my boss offers me the job as manager of his practise.....I thoroughly enjoy running his business for him;) I had my whirlwind romance with Jack.....good times;) 2 really good friends of mine try to commit suicide...being the uppity person I am, I had a really hard time coming to terms with this, as it was unexpected. My brother and Sister-in-law came to South africa for a 3 week visit and I cried my little heart out when they left. My dad unexpectedly became very ill and was rushed to hospital. I'm by nature an extremely rational person, but I was thrown onto an emotional roller coaster with this. We're a very close knit family and the very thought of possibly loosing my dad drove me insane........he made a miraculous recovery after 5 weeks of doctors not knowing what to treat him for. My third stalker appears on the horison....this one however is scary and perverted and if you are reading this you sick son of a Be-atch....I can't even begin to say what i wish on you for the future. But mostly I just wish that you'll leave me the hell alone!
My relationship with God, which has, for a very long time, been very intense and personal, was suddenly launched onto a whole new playing field and I'm enjoying the journey of discovery. AK is pregnant!!!! hurray hurray...congrats my friend:)

My goodness! This is such a long post that I really wouldn't blame anyone if they didn't want to finish reading it! I've been pretty blessed so far. My life has been pretty much picture perfect most of the time. No major emotional scarring has taken place and apart from the accident, which has a end purpose to it, it's been mostly rosy I'd say. I wish i could give you guys all the details of the last 10 years, but then this post would go on for ever and ever. I can't wait to find out what the next 10 years will hold. And in the meantime, I hope to make you all a part of it:)

Love

Ruby

P.S. By the time i finished this i was just waay to lazy and tired to run spell checker, so live with the mistakes....OK?

Dear God

You hold the future in your hands, You know my dreams and You have a plan
As You light my way, I'll follow You.
My eyes on all of the above, my soul secure in all You've done, my minds made up and You are the only one for me.

With all the earth in Your command You are the rock on which I stand and as I live each day I'll follow You. My eyes on all of the above, my soul secure in all You've done, my mind's made up and You are the only one for me.

Jesus Saviour, in my life You are everything. My future decided I will praise Your name. Now I know that I am Yours.

Unafraid, unashamed Lord we know who we are. We are Your people and we won't be silent. Unified, hear us cry at the top of our lungs, You are our God and we will not be shaken.

Jesus Saviour, in my life You are everything. My future decided I will praise Your name. Now I know that I am Yours.

Love

Ruby

P.S. For those of you who might have recognized the words and don't know why.......it's from one of the Hillsong United CD's. It really represents how I'm feeling today:)

Dear Arkwife

What am I going to do with you friendster??? Despite the fact that you know I absolutely despise meme's in general, you went ahead and tagged me. Add that to the fact that you also know that once I've been tagged I feel obliged to do it and you've created the perfect "mess with Ruby" situation.

Anyhoodle, since i have been tagged, I guess i have no choice in the matter and I'll have to do the meme.

Word for the week in my head: Stupid.......(i swear i have a good reason for having this word in my head)

Thought for the week: I'm have two thoughts in my head this week......
1. I follow Christ by growing in intimacy with Him. As I abide in Him, I learn to walk in rhythm with Him. I do not worry about where we are going, but rather trust His leadership, because I am convinced that where He takes me will be for my eternal good and for His glory and pleasure
2. A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first.
(The second having been a very important one for me in the last couple of weeks.......)

Thing for the week in my life: Exercise!!!! Actually not just this week, it has been for the past couple of weeks....I've been doing it 6 days a week for almost an hour and a half at a time.....sometimes at 10 o'clock at night when i don't have time:)

Song for the week in my head: OJ, so I'm terrible with song and artist names even though i know my music. I think the song is called :"shake it like my sister Kate" but it's by the Ditty Bops

Food for the week in my belly: Strawberries and grapes

Colour for the week in my life: Bright bright orange

Smile for the week on my face: Ooooh, I smile for lots and lots of reasons. But here's a couple:
- discussing and planning everything around my December cruise
- dancing in the rain and not getting sick
- being the mini-boss and being the one doing the performance review on a very shitty trainee
and therefor being able to do something about the fact that she really can't do the job. I
swear that her PR is based solely on her work performance and not the fact that she happens
so to be a particularly pathetic and irritating individual...and no, i didn't get her fired, so stop
worrying.....Y'all know I'm not that mean!
- The realisation that I have lots of people around me that love me
- Seeing the results of my strict exercise regime on the scale

Blessing for the week in my heart: My amazing positive attitude towards life in general, work, love, people and situations. Sometimes you have to choose to be happy, but mostly I'm blessed with optimism and happiness........and if anyone wants to question this, just ask Arkwife:)

OK, so I'm not tagging anyone, and therefor I'm not going to add the rules, I will however link back to cath before anybody decides to slap me for not doing so, and I will remind you that if everyone else decides to do this they have to link back to me and Cath.....Got it?

So friendster, I hope this satisfies your need for tagging me for a while....he he:)

Love

Ruby

Dear Ruby

I realize that writing myself a letter, again, is probably not the most creative or intriguing post in the world, but seeing as my creativity is a bit on the missing side of life after a very late night last night, I think I'm entitled to a bit of an offish post.

I haven't been the most active reader, writer or commenter in blogland the past couple of weeks, so I'm pretty sure that everyone will forgive me for being just a tad slow in doing some the things that have been flying around. So, my dear sweet self, I decided to follow the, slightly old, trend of doing a Dynamic needs analysis on myself.

According to google you need the following:
- a face lift (ouch!)
- a sweet talker (only if he falls in the same category as Mr Knight in shining armour)
- a string buffer (huh?)
- surgery on a liver......my liver is just fine thank you very much
- a good home
- one (no seriously, one what?)
- Investigating
- a dictionary (yeah yeah, i know my spelling sucks sometimes, get over it already!)
- a little prince to match her Cinderella costume...he he:)
- to pay attention to her feelings of being unsafe (I'm wondering if this might have
something to do with my stalker)
- to think about these questions before she does anything to change her behavior
- to be kept as a serious, broad based platform
- to be faster
- 3 leaves to complete her collection (apparently I have a leaf collection)
- help
- to overcome some of her current limits (don't we all)
- to find another host (cause I'm a parasite y'all!)
- a caretaker (Only if he fall in the same category as Mr Knight in shining armor)

To be fair to you and everybody else who might be reading this letter I decided to not only do a needs analysis on your pseudo personality, Ruby, but also on your real self.

So you, as yourself, need the following:
- to talk, share ideas and go places together and learn new things together
- to store 8 boxes while she is moving (I wasn't aware that I was moving????)
- needs to be in the mountains with some cheese
- to be protected from the stress and fighting
- no explanation
- her vocal counterpart
- to check out by 11:00
- to change her last name (seriously, what is google trying to tell me!)
- your votes (ja, cause I'm running for president next year:) )

Good luck with finding all you need!!!

Love

Ruby

P.S. Consider this an official apology for the boring post and my lack of creativity.....you know you wanna forgive me:)

Dear couzie

Tuesday was you 21st birthday. Happy birthday my little baby cousin.......I hope you had an absolutely stunning day, that the year ahead will be so filled with love, happiness and blessings that you wouldn't know what to do with them and that God will hold you in His wonderfully strong and gentle hands all the days of you life.

After rereading the first paragraph i realised something...not only are you no longer one of the baby cousins, but I have no idea how you became part of that group to begin with.....seriously, a 5 year age gap isn't exactly that big......is it?

Anyway.....after deciding to write this letter a lot of little things that i wanted to say to you jumped to mind, but the one thing that totally stuck was the day you got baptized. You were a teeny tiny little baby, beautiful! With big, dark pools for eyes and a crop of curly brown hair which has totally turned into your crown if glory. My excitement and honor knew no bounds when I was told that your folk wanted me, little Ruby, to carry you into the church to be baptized.....I even got a new dress and everything. My point is that on that day a bond was formed, one which will never ever be broken.

Since I've moved to jozi, I've gained 3 little sisters....all of which started out as my cousins, you being the oldest. We've shared many a laugh, plenty of tears and together we have both grown. Without realising it, the three of you help me to be a better person. Never in my life did i think that I'd have to be a role model for someone else....well, maybe when i have children, but i definitely never thought that it would happen before then. The realisation that between the 3 of you you mirror my every move, my sense of clothing, my way of talking, my relationships with friends and family and my relationship with God came as a shock......but it's a pleasant shock. I've grown more aware of what I do and say than I've ever been....still remaining true to myself, but being more responsible.

You have your fair share of issues in life, but hey, we all have them, some just handle them better than others. I'm proud and honored to know that I've helped you deal with a lot of them. Sometimes all you needed was a hug, sometimes a little bit of advice and at times a stern reprimand. But together we have developed this relationship into something beautiful and precious.

I can't wait to take you on your birthday surprise. Every year, instead of buying you guys something for your birthday, I give you a choice:
1. A gift of my choice
2. Money
3. I take you on an adventure, some fun time together...my treat
Without fail the 3 of you have always chosen nr 3.

Your first birthday experience was a fancy dress cocktail party....your first cocktail party and probably the first time you got dressed up all pretty wearing a little dress......being the tomboy you are. We've had a couple these "experiences" in the last 3 years. This year will have to be even more special, being your 21st and all. I can't wait:)

Happy birthday my darling. Whatever may happen in the future, keep your joy and your infectious smile. Remember that if everything else fails you, you can always count on God. And remember that as long as it is humanly possible, I will be here for you, loving you and cheering you on in life.

Love

Cousin/sister Ruby

P.S. I have a couple of ideas as to what I'll be doing for the couzies birthday, but if any of you have some killer ideas I would love to hear them.

Dear Klitsgras Drumming circle

First of all I would like to congratulate you guys on a truly award winning idea. Friday night was the most fun I've had in a very very long time.

I have to admit that i was just a tad sceptical when I was told that we would be attending Klitsgras Drumming Circle, I mean seriously, what kind of a name is that??? But i was pleasantly surprised. Originally we were only going to have supper at Fifi's house and help her move a really large and heavy bookcase, with "we" i mean me, Fifi, Jack and Piano man. But Piano man also lives in Pretoria and begged us to join him at the drumming circle....so after a fabulous supper we dashed off to Klitsgras, armed with plenty of wine, sneakers and lots and lots of warm stuff.

The place is situated just outside of Pretoria, not far from Menlyn on Garsfontein road. The atmosphere is both electric and relaxed....if that makes any sense. We spent the better part of the evening beating on our little Jembe drums around the big bonfire situated in the middle of the main drumming circle. For the record.....my hands are terribly bruised and really sore, but I'd do it again....over and over and over again!

I think the best part of your place is the fact that you have these smaller fires all over the place, and people can go and sit there with their snacks and drinks and a hubbly and just "kuier" the night away. We met the most interesting people including a whole bunch of young, afrikaans Rastafarians.

Granted, 90% of the people attending the circle were high. They were highly entertaining and of course contributed to the very peaceful and chilled atmosphere. Everybody kept going...."no worries dude....chill out man". It was quite hysterical actually. Fifi and I went into a fit of giggles when we noticed a sign behind a group of people who were quite obviously smoking a joint that read as follows: "The use of any illegal substances (including Marijuana) is strictly prohibited." Yeah right!

The place sort of reminded me of the bygone Hippie era, interlinked with a taste of the islands, a little bit of Africa and a typical "Jool" evening at a university. All in all it was an amazing evening, and I'll definitely be joining you guys around the fire again...beating my hands into a very bruised state.

We only left at about 3, when you guys politely asked us to go home now, as it was closing time...and I ended up sleeping at Fifi's house, as I didn't want to risk driving on the N1 at that time of the night....not after recent events anyway.

Can't wait to join you guys again!

Regards

Ruby a.k.a "The drumming queen"

Dear Caz and Tamara

The reason i decided to write a combined letter is because both of you tagged me for the same meme...and since we all know that I'm not the most enthusiastic meme participant, and also it would be quite ridiculous to do the same meme twice, I've decided to write one letter and just address it to both of you:)

As far as I understand, the meme works like this:
- Link back to the original meme (that would be this post) and the meme inspirer (that would be
EXMI)
- Link to the person who tagged you (Caz) and (Tamara) the other person who tagged you
- Give (at least) 5 reasons why you love SA
- Tag at least 5 peeps
- Let me know when you've done it!

1. I love the way my countryman react to a crisis. I swear, Saffers are the only people in the
world who, when faced with a crisis, find their strength in humor. Every time when things
go really pear shaped in our country the sms and e-mail jokes start flying around on the
subject of the crisis, putting everyone into a slightly better mood and ensuring that we're all
geared to deal with the consequences of whatever we're facing.

2. I love the fact that we don't only have 11 official languages, but we have a 12th, very much
unofficial language - Souf Efricun. Containing a mish mash of words from all of the languages
spoken in our beautiful country.....word that just don't quite mean the same thing when you
try saying it in a different language: braai, eish, akhona, voertsek, gatvol, lekker

3. I love the fact that there is still so much unspoilt beauty. Mountain ranges, bosveld, desert,
vlaktes, rivers and forests. I honestly believe that we have one of the most beautiful
countries in the world....certainly the most diverse when it comes to nature.

4. I love the fact that we have a country rich in culture and history. All the quaint little towns
you can visit while touring through the country, exploring museums and famous battle fields
Little towns like, Kakamas, Pelgrimsrus, Pofadder, Paternoster and many many many more
There is so much to see and do if you only take the time to look for it.

5. I love the fact that we're the only country in the world with a National Braai day label stuck
to it:) Sure, the official name of tomorrow's public holiday is Heritage day, and my my do we
have a rich heritage, but tomorrow is also National Braai day, now where else would you have
something like that??

Well you two......I have to admit that i have a much longer list, but i simply don't have the time to list them all. I'm off to visit the parentals for a couple of days....yes, I will not be working again until next week Monday, but after the 3 months I've had I think I deserve two days off;) So if you don't hear from me until next week, don't be too upset:)

Love

Ruby

P.S. Tamara.......that's like your third letter!!! i swear, you just keep tagging me cause you want a whole lot of letters addressed to you don't you??? (grappie julle)

P.P.S. I usually don't tag anyone, because I hate doing meme's so much myself, but since this one is quite good I'll be tagging AK , yes i realise you've already been tagged, Glug not sure if you've been tagged, and Blondie.

Dear Being Brazen

yes yes yes, I know that it's taken me long enough to write this letter, but my life has been pretty hectic, so I'm trying my best to catch up on all the stuff i should have done ages ago.

So, according to your post I have to
1. post at least 5 of my current addictions with some detail
2. Mention the person who started this game....well, that could only be you(being brazen), and
the person who tagged me, which is also you, hence the letter being addressed to you:)
3. Label the post: Current addictions
4. Tag at least 2 people

Unfortunately, i don't think I'm going to comply with numbers 3 and 4. 3, for the obvious reason that none of my posts have labels, they all start with "Dear ........" and 4, simply because I'm not fond of being tagged, i won't tag anybody else.

OK, so here goes nothing!

1. Lacoste Touch of PinkThis is just the most divine fragrance ever, ever ever!!! I've been addicted to it since the first time I smelt it......4 years ago, and was immensely pleased with myself when my housemate at the time remembered this and convinced all the housemates to buy me some for my birthday:)

2. Black XS
So this is my number 2 fragrance, and I'm pretty much addicted to this one also...he he:) I like to smell nice....OK?

3. Green tea

I have a deep rooted love for all kinds of tea, but green tea remains one of my favourites

4. Motorbikes
To my father's absolute horror I have been fascinated by Motorbikes as long as I can remember. Speed bikes, Harley's, tour bikes, you name it...i love them all! The one in the picture is one I am particularly fond of, the Ducati 996.................*sigh*

5. Researching and talking about my upcoming boat cruise
Yep, I'm going on a boat cruise in December.....jealous yet? I've been a little pre-occupied with talking about it and of course, shedding the winter weight......i have to, have to, have to, have to look super duper hot in a teeny tiny bikini..........not that i don't at the moment, but a little weight loss never hurt anyone;)

So my dear, i hope you enjoyed this little piece of information?

Hugs and Kisses

Ruby

Dear Neil Angel

I have no idea where you came from, or why you are haunting my dreams.......but you are weighing heavy on my heart, and I wish i knew why.

I've been having the same dream now a couple of days in a row. It's a frightening dream, it's always exactly the same, and it always ends with you telling me that you'll speak to me again. I have never met you, and I'm not even sure how on earth i know your name....but i do. I don't think that you ever actually tell me what your name is.....but i just know that you are Neil Angel.

In the dream I am brave. Facing you and my biggest fear all at the same time. I refuse to be intimidated by you, and I fight for the safety of the people I love, even though they are strangely distant from the seriousness of the situation. It's as if you gain a strange respect for me, knowing that I will not let you hurt anyone, but at the same time I'm not out to hurt you, and for some unexplainable reason, you know that too.

I'm driving myself completely insane trying to figure out what this dream means, but one thing i know for sure. You are a real person. You exist in the real world, not just in my dreams. I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to find you, or whether you will find me, but I'm convinced our paths will cross........soon.

I have only one request, please could you stop haunting my dreams in the meantime? I've been sleep deprived for weeks, and when i finally do sleep I have you and the scariness of the situation haunting me. I need sleep!

Please tell me....who are you???

Ruby

Dear Tamara

yes yes yes, I realise that it is already Wednesday and that you, Angel and Glug have already posted about Sunday, but things have been a bit hectic this week. So today i finally found a couple of minutes to do my part.

To start off with I'd like to thank you for inviting us to the combined birthday picnic. I had a lot of fun. AK and I started off our adventure by driving around the Linden/Emerentia area for quite some time before I finally realised that I knew exactly where the place was and that I've driven past it a thousand times before....but you have to forgive me for this as I'm not from Joburg:) We then proceeded to drive around the emerentia dam.....twice, before we decided which entrance to take. This was due to a number of reasons, one of which was the fact that I was trying my best to convince AK that your e-mail definitely said Emerentia Dam Botanical Gardens.

By the time we got inside, AK was dying for a smoke, as she's not allowed to smoke in my car.....so we sat down in the Tranquility garden where she had her smoke and I got to spend some much needed time on my phone. At 1 o'clock I texted you to find out where you guys were, but you hadn't yet arrived, so we sat around a while longer. When you finally did arrive, you sent me a message explaining where you were, but since neither of us really knew the Gardens, we spent quite some time strolling around trying our best to take a good look at the people around us, convinced that we'll be able to find you guys by looking for Angel's hair:)

In the end you phoned me and explained exactly where you were. And then it was time for the big meet. The picnic was fabulous, the friends i did get to meet were very interesting, meeting Angel and Glug in person was awesome and of course meeting you and the hubby was a pleasure. Angel and Glugs were of course accompanied by Angel's knucklehead, Damien. What a delightful teenager. Yes, and I realised that I used delightful and teenager in the same sentence, but as 17 year olds go, he was quite remarkable. And I know that this has been mentioned before, but I have to mention it again, I loved the Hah! game, mostly because I was one of the winners, but also because it was fun...he he:)

It was a pity you couldn't join us at Cool Runnings, where we had the pleasure of a very brief meeting with Exmi before she had to rush off to fetch the kidlet. We ended up staying at Cool Runnings for a bite to eat and some divine cocktails.

I had an amazing day and I look forward to spending some more time with you guys. I'm so glad that you and the hubby enjoyed your joint gift:) So how did you like the little button??? and what did hubby have to say about that??

Have a fab week sweety pie!

Love

Ruby

P.S. That's your second letter you lucky cow! tee hee hee:)

Dear AK

Ok, so you did this food meme a while back on your blog a while ago.....and it sort of got stuck in my mind because i've eaten a number of really odd things in my life. So friendster, even though you were kind enough not to tag me, because i hate memes, I will do it anyway.....hurray hurray another meme done via a letter:)

Now, if I understood the instructions correctly I'm supposed to
1. Bold the ones I've had
2. Strike through the ones that would make my great-grand kids gag from the after taste.
3. Italicise potential delicacies....stuff that would go down with a double shot of tequila.

Unfortunately we have a slight problem. After bugging you on msn to find out how on earth I'm supposed to strike through stuff on blogger, and finding out that you cheated when you did the post to begin with, i decided to change the rules ever so slightly. So, the Ruby instructions are as follows:
1. Bold the ones I've had
2. Italicise the ones that would make my great-grand kids gag from the after taste
3. Everything else will go down well with a double shot of tequila.....even the italicised ones..ha!

Ok friendster, here goes nothing..........

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos Rancheros – fried eggs on corn chips, served with salsa...sounds like a
breakfast nacho - erm OK, officialy I've never ordered this, but i suspect I might have eaten
something like it
4. Steak tartare – raw mince meat....blegh
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding – sausage made from blood
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht – beet soup with beef....could work
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho – Vietnamese Beef Noodle Soup
13. PB & J sarmie
14. Aloo gobi – potato and cauliflower curry type thingy
15. Hot dog from street cart – NYC here I come!
16. Epoisses – French cheese
17. Black truffle – black, underground mushroom
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns – Thai Pork Dumplings, basically
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes – Not that i'm aware of
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans - anyone ever have jumping jack???
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas – if my great grandchildren are anything like me they won't only gag.....
they'll die!!!!!
32. Clam chowder in sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi – it’s like salty Yogi-Sip
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea – I’m gagging!!
38. Vodka jelly - for the afrikaans people - wie kom saam my robotjie speel?????
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects – Mopani worms
43. Phaal – it’s just curry
44. Goat’s milk in cheese form – feta, haloumi
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - thanx to all my clients
and my boss!
46. Fugu – Japanese pufferfish
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel - sushiiiii
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - i think i've hadthis
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi – pickled Japanese ume fruit
53. Abalone
54. Paneer – Persian cheese
55. McDonald’s Bic Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle – German egg noodle or dumpling
57. Dirty Gin Martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine – chips with cheese and gravy
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin – it’s a rock???
64. Currywurst
65. Durian – that smelly fruit from Thailand
66. Frog’s legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake – some type of doughnut
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain – some sort of fruit from the Caribbean
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette – pig’s intestines
71. Gazpacho
72 Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost or brunost – Norwegian cheese
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum – thai soup
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky – chocolate on a stick
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85.Kobe beef – from a special cow.....right??
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa – it’s a spice with rose petals in
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano – Mexican chilli chocolate sauce
96. Bagel and lox – bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee
100. Snake – should tast like crocodile

Gosh, I've eaten quite a lot of this stuff.....scary! Well my friend, this should keep you busy for a while:) Have a fab weekend!!!!

Love

Ruby

Dear slightly confused mind

I've been trying to sort this out for myself for days. But I've finally admitted defeat. It's just not possible for me to think this through logically....I'm not looking at it in an objective manner....or maybe I am, but I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not...oh dear, there i go again...*sigh*

Being a little bit of a control freak, I hate feeling uncertain or not knowing what is going on around me. I don't like feeling vulnerable and unsure of myself. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

But then there are times when feeling vulnerable, unsure and confused brings about feelings of excitement, anticipation and an eagerness to discover......all of which i do enjoy. I'm trying my best to balance them out at the moment, but I'm not being very successful:(

Feeling excited and vulnerable at the same time could mean one of two things. 1. It's a recipe for disaster or 2. It means something beautiful. Gosh i hate feeling like this, and at the same time, i don't...*sigh*

Good luck with trying to figure that one out!

Ruby

Dear Readers

Sweets recently posted about party favourites. I realise that this is probably going to sound ever so slightly insane. But i've only recently discovered that something i am able to do is quite rare and very....well, weird.

The thing is i do this thing with my hand. If i make my fingers straight with the palm of my hand pointing downwards, my fingers all bend upward.....far upward. So what i decided to do, in order to set my mind at ease and find out if it is really so incredibly weird or not, is to post a picture of me straightening my fingers, and to ask your opinion.

Exhibit A:

Yes, my palm is pointing downward.

So tell me.....is this weird? Can you do it to?

Regards

Ruby

xxxxx

Dear George W

The purpose of my letter is not to be rude or insulting. And I'm certainly not writing it to question your sanity or intelligence, but I have to admit that I'm starting to wonder about you. OK, so I've been wondering about you for a very long time. But recent events have finally pushed me over the edge and I have to voice my opinion.




There is the day you said that Madiba died. The various speeches where you talk absolute nonsense, the fact that you were holding a book upside down while posing with school children, the time you held the binoculars the wrong way round trying to look at your troops, and don't even get me started on the whole war thing.



It's not that I have anything against the Americans. I mean seriously, my brother lives there now and my sister in law is a proper yank, but i love her and her family to bits. I have American family, American friends, and after my visit to the states 18 months ago I fell in love with the country. I just don't particularly like you...mostly because i think you're an idiot.



I'm sure you're dying to know which act of stupidity finally led me to write this letter. Well, please take a look at exhibit A:

Now, in case you still haven't noticed your problem, I'll direct your attention to the flag.

I think it is absolutely disgusting that a president can sit at an important event like the Olympic games, proudly displaying his country's flag the wrong way!!!!!

In my opinion you probably won't even understand half the words used in this letter, and you might have to get someone to translate it for you. Or maybe your just a great big klutz and because you're the president of a biiiiiiiiig country it's more publicised. The trick is to think before you speak and act. Trust me......if you have half a brain, that plan will work wonders for you.

Regards

Ruby

P.S. This is a disclaimer. The information displayed here is merely an opinion about recent events and not facts. So if you don't like it, don't read it!

Dear *insert name of academic institution here*

Thank you so much for your swift and enthusiastic reply. Your very personal and informative reply has once again cemented my belief that you are probably the best choice for my future endeavour.

I'm looking forward to starting on my Masters degree in Forensic auditing and accounting at your institution next year. Thank you so much for taking the time to include information about the different academics involved in the program as well as the sponsors available to me. I've always known that it is a very specialised field and that there are very few forensic auditors/accountants currently in the country, but i was surprised to discover that there is in fact a great shortage and that both the government and large financial and economic institutions are desperately seeking individuals interested in exploring this field.

I hope to hear from you soon so that we can finalise my registration for next year. I look forward to once again returning to your community, even if it is only as a part time student. You are after all my Alma Mater, the place where I obtained both my other degrees, and the place where I've picked up some of the most remarkable memories i will ever have.

Regards

Ruby

Dear Being Brazen

I refer to your post about people stealing your mug at work. At the time i knew there had to be a way of solving this problem without having to hire a private detective, killing anyone or disrupting your normal day to day routine too much.

Well sweety pie, I found it!!! It's called the anti-theft mug and personally i think it is fabulous. You will never again have to go off in search of your office mug, as other people won't be able to use it. Here is a picture of the mug i have in mind:

When you leave your mug you just take out the little plug "en siedaar", nobody can use your mug, which reduces the chances of it being stolen with almost 100%. Of course, you will always find people who would try and steal it anyway, simply because it's a novelty.

I sincerely hope this helps!!!

Love

Ruby

Dear Diary

Today I am fighting a losing battle with Insanity. He's been loitering around on the edges of reality all morning.....his dark presence has been floundering in the shadows there, trying his best to break down my defences. Insanity and cynicism......two entities I have no time for in my little sunshine world...but today their attacks have been unrelenting.

It all began about 2 weeks ago when an old family friend was admitted to the psychiatric ward in the nearest hospital. She is a wonderful person, but in recent weeks she's been acting a tad odd. So odd in fact, that her closest friends finally admitted her to the hospital against her will. We've all be worried sick, and nobody has been able to tell us exactly what's going on. My first thought was that perhaps she had developed a brain tumor, which often causes odd and neurotic behaviour as it puts increasing pressure on certain parts of the brain. But that fear was laid to rest early on.

Because she had pretty much become part of our family, her family was also part of our family. I've been friends with her nephew for over 16 years. We went from hating each other's guts, as ten year olds do, to being close friends...and in 16 years you get to know someone pretty well. He's like a second brother. When i had my accident he took 2 weeks off to come and stay with me at my folks. His sole purpose - to chase away even the slightest signs of boredom during my long period of being bedridden.

So last night at about 7 i decided to give him a ring to find out what exactly was wrong with his aunt. I realised that i would get the truest answer from him, as they would have been in contact with the psychiatrist and doctor treating her. As usual, I had impeccable timing. He was preparing to kill himself. What the hell is up with that????????

Of course he didn't say so immediately. The conversation didn't go:"Hey Ruby", "Ola Gimli!!! Whats up dude?". "Ag, not much hey, I'm just sitting here, trying to kill myself. So if you won't mind putting the phone down I'll just get on with it". Although, considering the odd evening i had, that probably wouldn't have surprised me! No,we chatted about a couple of mundane things, then he volunteered information about his aunt. She had been diagnosed with Schizophrenia . Apparently she's had it for years, but the chemical imbalance had been so minor, that even though she often had vivid dreams and visions, nobody ever worried about it. The doctor recons that something must have triggered an increase in the imbalance which caused her to become totally batty, to say the least. They gave her medicine, but she's discharged herself, and refuses to take the meds. This is a big problem.


My heart is truly breaking for her. But as i was talking to him, i realised that he was rumbling it off like a little robot, totally devoid of any emotion. Not good! So i tried to coax him into just unpacking his feeling on me. I don't mind, i listen, it's one of the things i do best. But today, there is a part of me that wishes i didn't have so much perception into the minds and souls of my friends. A sordid little tale unfolded last night. One of his best friends, also suffering from schizophrenia, has been arrested, along with her brother, for the murder of her parents. She didn't take her medicine. I remember reading about it, and thinking that the name seemed faintly familiar, but i never made the connection.


He was tired. The world had turned him into a cynic. Life just really sucked.....and i can't even blame him for thinking that way. He was simply tired of sitting on a roller coaster ride that he didn't enjoy, but constantly made him puke, a ride on which friends fell out of the carts and died. He wanted to get off. He has reached a point where he just refuses to continue playing the game.


So what exactly do you say to someone who is tired of living? I didn't say much...but i listened. Knowing him kept me from being my opinionated self. He didn't need advice, he didn't need me to try and stop him, he just needed me to listen, to understand, to just be there.


The conversation lasted 2 and a half hours. He finally said goodbye. I couldn't say much, i was trying my best not to become hysterical, not to cry, not to freak out completely. He left me with a promise not to kill himself just yet, to face up to life knowing that it is almost always unfair, to phone me in the morning, and a statement that chilled my heart. Coming from the man who has inspired me to grow so much closer to God, to grow in my relationship,this was scary. "I don't believe anymore. I control my destiny. I'll be my own God thank you very much." Wisely, i kept my mouth shut, this was something he had to sort out on his own......I can help him get through tough times, but i can't make his choices for him, and i can't force him to believe something. I just told him that i loved him, always have, always will, no matter what he believes.


As i put the phone down i received a text from Jack, wanting to know how I was. My indifference was immediately noticed. I spoke to him for quite some time on the phone....mostly crying. He gave me advice and understanding. And as usual i felt calmer after talking to him. I still find it amazing to see how incredibly close we are as friends despite the fact that we've both moved on.


So, this morning I've sms'd gimli a stupid "good morning" message, filled with bullet type questions, ensuring that he has to answer me. My motivation behind it.........i simply wanted to check if he was still alive. His reply to it was probably the best sms I've ever received..."what's so good about it". Not because of the words, but because of the message behind it. yeah yeah, I'm still alive. No worries.


To top it all off, my stalker, which had become ominously silent in recent weeks, decided to start torturing me again. I'm not quite sure i can cope with this right now.


OK, so I've read through my post and realised something. I'm OK. I think I'm a whole lot stronger than i realise. Yes OK, so i don't exactly feel like my normal little ray of sunshine...this is a weird and horrible experience for me. But it's not that bad. I'm not depressed, i haven't broken down and cried yet, I don't feel like chewing my wrists. I can still flash a brilliant and honest smile at a loved one. My friends bring out the best in me. I have friends that care. Am i allowed to worry? Of course! Am i gonna let this get to me...giving in to those two little bastards loitering around just outside my defences? No freakin way! My little world will always have some form of sunshine in it........now I'm hoping i can share some of those rays with the people who need it. Wish me luck:)


Love


Ruby

Dear Tamara

It seems that I'm kinda getting hooked on memes huh? I haven't been able to make use of my normal creative juices, as antibiotics and creative juices seem to have a detrimental effect on my health. So i stumbled upon this little meme on your blog and decided to give you and all the other little bloggers some more insight into, well...me:)

1. I hate anyone coming close to my ears. I freak out completely. This fact has however served as a very entertaining past time for every and all of the guys i have ever dated.

2. I have this insane ability to always be rational and realistic....no matter what. weird, i know

3. I love the smell of freshly baked bread. It's the greatest pick-me-up ever!!!!!

4. I become really depressed and frustrated when I'm sick. So I'm sure you'll be able to determine my mood right about now

5. I love all kinds of stationary...like you:) I have more pens than i could possibly need in one lifetime. Gel pens, glitter pens, high light pens, coloured pens.....you name it and I've probably got it;)

6. My circle of trust is very small. I rarely share my closest emotions with the people around me, and when i do it is to a very select few.

7. I plan to do my masters degree next year

8. I've unofficially been offered an amazing job. The official offer is however dependant on one thing.......can he afford to wait until my current employment contract expires???

OK hun, i gotta go and get back in bed. I'm hoping to be back on top of my game in a week or so, and then i promise to post some proper letters:)

Have a good one!

Love

Ruby

Dear Angel

After sitting in front of my little laptop, coughing away like there is no tomorrow, and trying my best to come up with an idea for a post, i finally came to the conclusion that I'm not all that creative when I'm on the brink of death.

So, since i can't come up with a really juicy and informative letter on my own, i called on glug and you ( angel ) for some help........and wisely, you referred me to the list of memes on your blog. Yes, i realise that i hate doing memes, and that i usually refuse to do them....but this was an emergency OK? so forgive me:)

After going through the list I finally decided on doing this one. So here goes nothing......

I am.....sick:(
I know......that there are a lot of people who care about me
I want......a lot of things, but right now I'd settle for feeling better
I wish.......love, joy and happiness for all the people dear to me
I hate........seeing people suffer
I miss...........oh wouldn't you guys just looooove to know!
I fear........not reaching my full potential....and of course those horrid eight legged creatures
I feel.........alive, despite the fact that I'm sick as a dog
I smell.......coffee
I hear......my "homemade pies" clock from Wall-e ticking away
I crave..........apple sourz, and tlc
I search.....my heart to make sure that there are no footholds
I wonder......about life and love and where I'll be in 10 years
I regret......this is hard, at this time in my life i don't have any regrets...honest
I love....dancing in the rain......living passionately...my parents.....my dog...my friends...my Saviour
I ache.......all over, but especially my lungs ache due to me being sick
I am not.........willing to settle for second best
I believe......in my Saviour
I dance......whenever i can...even walking is a form of dance in my mind:)
I sing......constantly...another big love in my life
I cried last........when i was comforting a friend because of the brokenness of his situation
I fight.......for myself, my friends, my family, what i believe to be right and what i believe in
I write....stories, poems, songs and a blog.....all except one is top secret...the one being my blog
I win.....hearts and stalkers
I lose........hope very rarely
I am never.........too tired or busy to help someone in need
I always.....get on the fourth step of an escalator..yes, I'm a tad OCD
I confuse.......easily when sick
I listen....with both my heart and my ears
I can usually be found.....either working or partying...you'll rarely catch me sleeping
I need........to realise that i can't fix everything
I am happy.......I think that about says it, no need to elaborate:)
I imagine.....what the world could be like if everybody lived to their full potential

Considering that my creativity levels are sitting at about -10 I don't think i did too bad;) Hope you all enjoyed it!

Love

Ruby

Dear Ruby(again)

I feel stupid writing this letter for 2 reasons. Firstly, I think it's slightly selfish and totally egocentric to write a letter addressed to yourself two times in row. Usually i don't indulge in these little pity parties, but pls allow me to get on my soap box once again and preach to myself. Secondly, why do I need to write a letter? I mean seriously, I'm in touch with myself all the time aren't I? Can't i just shift this little speech from heart to brain without having to actually write it out?

But then when i started thinking about it, i realised that the reason i didn't want to write this letter was not because it was selfish, or because it was stupid. It was because if i actually managed to put it into writing it would be official, serious and "out there". A scary thought for little old me. But i've started writing, so i might as well tap dance through it.

I haven't exactly got all that much to say to myself, but this particular issue is one that i've always struggled with. One that i've been reprimanded about by other people, especially AK, on numerous occasions, and one that i've noticed I still haven't been able to control.

People tend to confide in me a lot. Tell me their secrets, come to me with their problems, heartache and happiness. They come to me to help them face the reality of what they've done, pray with them, pray for them, give advice and generally they come to me because i'm the one person they know will listen without judging them.

It's taken me a long time to realise this, and the realisation always brings a smile to my face. I love people, I will always have time to listen. But this also brings with it a lot of responsibility, worry and heartache on my side. The responsibility of keeping it a secret, helping where I can, giving the right advice, not forgetting to pray and checking up on them I can handle. The hearthache that generally comes from compassion I can deal with quite easily. But it's the worry that tends to get me down.

Despite the fact that I'm a little fighter and extremely independant, i sometimes battle to cope with the worry. I'm not worried about me, or work, or normal stuff like that....i worry about the people around me. Their problems, if they'll cope, are they OK, why couldn't i do more to help, the emotional scars that they will have to deal with, will they ever be happy. These are just some of the things that haunt my dreams and my everyday life

I've learnt that I'm like a little sponge. I absorb all this worry, sadness and negativity, and the more i absorb it, the more sad, tired and depressed I become. Then, one day, I'll just have enough. I'll burst out in tears for nothing(at home, thank goodness) and go and sit at the feet of my Saviour, handing over all the worry and all the sadness and the hearts of the people i love.

Ok, so now I've said a whole lot without really saying anything. I guess my big issue is that I tend not to trust the very One that confess to be the my Comforter. I hand over the people I love, begging Him to keep them strong, heal their hurts, keep them safe, make them happy, hold their hands, and for some of them, to bring them back to Him. But i don't leave it with Him. It's like i give Him a broken toy to fix, and then just as He wants to start fixing it, I grab it back, skipping along and crying because I still have a broken toy.

Funny enough, when it comes to my own issues I leave my worries and hurts in His hands quite easily. Knowing that he'll provide and sort them out, and tell me what to do. But when it comes to other people, I keep al the hurt and worry to myself.

So, sweet little Ruby, you need to let go. Be grateful for the love and trust of your friends, share their hurt and live with absolute compassion, but when it comes to the worry and the fixing, just leave that in the hands of your Father. He knows them and you so much better than you do. He knows exactly how to fix it. So cry for them all you want, do what you can to make it easier for them, give advice and love and a safe haven, but don't let the sadness, the depression and the hurt get imbedded in your being. It's unhealthy, and it can steal your little ray of sunshine personality in the blink of an eye.

I realise that this is a hard piece of reality to swallow. I know that actually having to read this back to yourself after writing it makes it so much more real than somebody else saying it or you thinking it. But it's true you know. You've known it for so long, but still you struggle with the same thing. It's time to face reality, and to change it.

Lots and lots of love

Ruby
xxxx

Dear Ruby

Happy birthday dollface!!!

Love

Me
xxxxxx

P.S. Your from me to me b-day prezzie was the best:)

Dear Psycho Cousin

Happy birthday sweetheart!!! I hope you have a fantastical day, and that the year ahead will be filled with joy, love and happiness. I pray that God will continue to keep you safe and that you will be blessed beyond belief.

The change in you over the last 18months has been remarkable. For the first time in years we actually get along, you don't hate my guts and you're not trying to ruin my life:) Our relationship has always been a rocky one, and the only reason i ever saw or spoke to you was because we were family...i didn't have a choice. C'mon kids, go play nicely together. Oh how i hated those words when we were kids.

We were always fighting. Even though i was older, you were much larger. You bullied me mercilesly, slapping me around, poking me full of bleeding holes with pins and other sharp objects, yelling, screaming and generally abusing me.

You were the black sheep of the family. The one that nobody could stand, the one that made everybody sigh inside when it was announced that you guys were coming for a visit. You involved yourself in witchcraft, drugs and alcohol at a very early age. Causing you parents to worry and the problem with the family to become even bigger.

As i became older, it became easier to avoid you. I was away at uni, and missed a lot of the family gathering, and when i had to attend i was accepted as an adult and engaged in conversation with the various aunts and uncles.

But your dark presence increased and multiplied as the years went along. You were the unspoken family problem. The one everybody avoided talking about....the forbidden topic.

But your wild lifestyle finlly caught up with you and you landed up in a Christian rehabilitation centre after you overdosed on heroine. You spent 6 months in isolation. No family, no friends, only the staff at the centre and God. And a miracle happened. The sweetest girl emerged. Friendly, caring, loving, smiling and loving life.

I have to admit that at first i was your biggest sceptic. Not believing that you've changed. I don't think anybody blamed me, considering all the things you had done to ruin my life. But today I stand absolutely amazed! you've made it:) You've been clean for over year. No drugs, no alcohol, no nothing. I think what impressed me most of all was your willingness to ask forgiveness, to try and build up what you had broken down over the years with your abuse and hatred.

I'm so incredibly proud of you that it almost hurts:) I'm so grateful for the rebuilding of a relationship and the newfound love for a cousin.

So, happy birthday cuz! Keep your chin up sweety, no matter what happens.....you don't need to prove yourself to anyone, you've done that already, and you've passed with flying colours!

Love

Ruby

Dear Jack

Even though we've made peace with the way things are some time ago, I've held off writing this letter. Simply because writing this needs courage and a lot of thought and soul seeking i guess. So, I'm tired enough to be brave enough to write it, I'm at peace with our friendship, and I've had plenty of time to think of what exactly it is that i would like to say to you in this here letter.......so here goes nothing;)

The romance started off in a little bit of a whirlwind/fairy tale sort of way. You managed to hijack my heart in a matter of minutes, and I know that you gave yours to me easily. But things just weren't meant to be. And the past reared it's awful head, rocking us back to the reality that is everyday life. For now it just won't work.

We decided to end the "insert whatever you would like to call it here". It was by mutual consent and very difficult, but probably the best decision we could have made....considering the circumstances. The strange thing is that you've become one of my best friends. I speak to you on a daily basis. You're still a safe person to talk to when I'm down or when i have a crisis. You still have the amazing ability to turn my sadness into laughter and to brighten my day with a smile.

Initially this reaction was due to the fact that i was still very much in love with you. I'll admit to that. I knew that you were still crazy about me....and the fact that you confessed this to me on several occasions after we decided to call it quits, did not exactly make it easy to let go.

But amazingly enough I'm finally over this. I'm over you. I've made a decision and I spent some much needed time focusing my life and my thoughts. I feel free and rejuvenated:) Our silly little love game has turned into a beautiful friendship. You are still a very important part of my life, but you are the love of my life no longer.

You will always hold a little piece of my heart. I'd be a liar if i denied that. But you are my friend, not my lover. I will always be here for you if you need me...but i think you know that already:)

I'm glad I've finally managed to muster up the courage to write this letter. In a way it is setting free the last strands of in loveness that has tried to hold my heart captive. I hope that you'll have the courage to confront your demons and look away from the past. Your history doesn't define who you are, it's only the road you've taken to discover yourself. You are an amazing person, and i hope that you will always remember that.

Love

Your Ruby

Dear *enter name of service provider here*

That's it!!! this little ray of sunshine has had enough!!! Forget ray of sunshine...think more in the lines of a little thunder storm...or wait, make that a big thunderstorm with lots of lightning and stuff.

About 3 weeks ago my 3 month old phone decided to bail out on me. I finally managed to take it to one of your outlets 2 weeks ago. I was promised that i would have my phone back in 2 to 7 working days. So yesterday, being 9 days since i took the phone in, I finally gave you guys a call. Only to be told that my phone has been ready since last week Wednesday!!!! So why didn't anybody let me know!!??? I've been battling to survive with my old phone that only lasts about 2 hours at a time.

Anywhoo...i decided not to become too unfluffed about it. When i got there to pick up my phone i was informed that the phone had been a dud, so you've sent me a brand new phone. Awesome! or so I thought initially anyway. It wasn't the right colour:( but since it was brand new, and i was in desperate need of a phone that could function for longer than 2 hours i decided to not give you too much trouble about it. In between working i re-entered all my numbers and stuff onto the phone, changed the settings the way i like them and went to bed a happy little ruby child.

This morning however has not exactly gone according to plan. 1. I am tired.....dead tired. I haven't' had a proper night's sleep in ages, I'm overworked and to top it all off i have to work all weekend...sucks to be me right??? 2. We didn't have any power!!! It took me 45min to get from my house to the highway........a distance of only 3km. 3. I was therefore late for work. 4. I phone someone for the first time this morning from my phone and what happens???? it sounds like the person on the other side is talking to me from a metal box....all metally, echoey and distorted.

Don't panic....was my first reaction. It's probably just a bad line right?? erm....no! I've had people phone me all day and still i get the same result.....metal box effect. I tried desperately to remain calm..but my nerves have been stretched to the max today...with clients getting on my nerves, slaves behaving like spoilt brats and the looming deadline chewing at my insides. I phoned the outlet i took it to to begin with.

A chirpy little employee answered the phone. She informed me that i had to return the handset immediately. OK, one problem here.....I'm at work! and tomorrow morning at 5 o'clock I'm leaving to go see my parents, I'll only be able to take it in next week sometime. So what does this silly little woman tell me??? Oh no mam...you can't do that! then *insert service provider name here* will think that you broke it, or that there wasn't something wrong with it since the beginning.

Well what the hell am i supposed to do???? it's not my fault that you are open the exact same hours that i have to be at work??? Apart from this I'm sitting here thinking about the fact that I'll probably have to spend another 2 weeks being practically phone less. Just trust me when i say that in my life that is a gigantic crisis!!!!!

I trust that you'll replace the phone immediately when i bring it in next week. That you won't accuse me of dropping it, kicking it, wetting it or generally breaking it. That you'll know better than to mess with sweet little ruby. I realise that i might appear all sweet and nice.....but trust me...there are times in my life...however few and far between....when you really shouldn't mess with me. Now is one of those times!!!

Regards

Ruby

Dear Magaliesburg Rhino and Lion park

Thank you so much for an amazing experience on Saturday! It was my little cousins 12th birthday at the end of May. And as per our little tradition we decided to go do something fun together. I started this little tradition about 2 years ago with my 3 cousins living in Joburg. All three of them are younger than me and have become like my little sisters. So instead of giving them a gift on their birthday i take them on a fun outing.

So we've had everything from a cocktail evening, visits to the zoo, horse riding, visiting a bunch of art galleries to picnics in odd places, depending on the age of the cousin involved. After carefully considering my options, i decided to take my little cuz to your park.

We had a wonderful time!!! we played with the white lion and jaguar cubs, discovered that a lion cub of about 3-4 months has a paw bigger than my hand, took thousands of pictures of the animals we encountered on our drives and we had the privilege of being able to record the feeding of the white lions, wild dogs and the cheetahs.

We arrived home at tired, satisfied and highly entertained. I would like to commend you on a well taken care of reserve, excellent animal conditions and friendly faces we encountered everywhere. You've once again made my little cousins think that I'm the most wonderful cousin they could ever have asked for:)

Here are a few of my favourite shots:
A white lion cub
Playing with the Jaguar cubs
Young tiger at play
Cheetah on his way to feed
Unbelievably enough a cub of between 3-4 months' paw is as big as my hand!

we saw buffalo!!! one of the shyest animals ever...and the thing was right next to my car too!!! this picture was taken from my car without any zoom!!!!!

Thank you so much for an amazing experience....I'll definitely be coming again!

Regards

Ruby

P.S. Thanx to me terrivle half for the idea:)