Dear little food poisoning causer thingies

Seriously guys! Has anyone ever told you that you have a terrible job, you are most unwelcome and you are actually quite hated and despised????

Who likes having food poisoning on a bloody Friday night? Especially when they have a fantastic weekend planned? You're a bunch of selfish little buggers aren't you? You only think about yourself when you make someone sick. Couldn't just for once have asked permission to give someone food poisoning?

There I was on Friday, minding my own business. Going to the movies with an ex(who is now a good friend), having fun, not being all unhealthy and eating all kinds of fast food crap. I opted to rather have supper at home before I leave, as this will minimize the amount of garbage I eat at the movies. It worked like a charm. Anyway, ex C took me home, we had tea, he went home, I went to bed...and then it happened. You little idiots ambushed me!!!

I'm not a person who falls asleep easily, so as i was lying in bed, trying to reach the high way to dreamland, I suddenly didn't feel all that great. I was overcome by wave after wave of nausea. Now I realise that most people really dislike throwing up, being nauseous etc. Take that dislike and times it by about 10 000....I never throw up! I hate it! My mom always use to say that if I did throw up(maybe a total of 5 times in my lifetime) i had to be really really sick.

So i just lay there in bed trying to control it. But alas! sometimes whatever is in just has to get out. So i did end up in the bathroom. And to my utter disgust it just didn't stop. I couldn't even attempt to get out of the bathroom. At last, to your entertainment i suppose, i ended up fetching a blanket and a pillow and i simply stayed in the loo the whole bloody night! Gosh i really really hate you guys!!! I've never had food poisoning before...but don't you ever dare knocking on my door again you hear!

The really gross thing was, is that as I was sitting there I really couldn't help wondering where all this came from???? I mean seriously, I didn't eat all that much on Friday???? and then I had this flashback to some comedian who did this thing on the stomach when one starts drinking. And then at some point the tequila always shows up...and they're going "we don't want no trouble", and finally a fight breaks out in your stomach and he shouts that everybody has to leave, and then there is this hot dog, that shouts "This is ridiculous....I've been here for 9 years!"
Can anybody help me out as to who the comedian is?? and what that piece is called?

Disgusting as this my sound, I found it quite entertaining at 4am while I was sitting in the loo with blanket and pillow calling George all night. I finally got the courage to creep back to my bed at about 8am...where i finally fell into an exhausted coma while daring you little idiots to make me call George again. I only woke up at about 4, feeling absolutely crap mind you, and thought that i might be dehydrated. I fell into your trap...silly Ruby! so i tried some black rooibos tea. But that didn't work so well and after feeling that George must be getting really tired of me shouting his name the whole time finally fell asleep again.

I suppose in the long run I've shown you guys a thing or two though. Most of my friends stay sick a whole lot longer when they have food poisoning. I'm back at work, and although I'm slightly low on energy, I manage to consume a little bit of food this morning without feeling the need to call for George's help. So eat that you little buggers!

Gosh how i hate you! Please please please, never ever ever come to this house again!!! You'll be really really sorry!!!!!

Ruby

P.S. Consider this my first hate mail