Dear Angel and Glug

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh, I'm quite out of breath from that long shout, but still sitting with a big grin on my face and an I told you so wanting to jump from my fingers.....and then I suddenly realise that I didn't tell you "I told you so" since for once in my life I had opted to take the safer route...... I kept my mouth shut. This is not something I do easily and I am therefor very proud of myself for pulling this off. But, back to the subject at hand.

I wish you guys the best of luck and hope that it will all work out, that you'll be happy, that Glug will continue to pick Angel's mind, that Angel will be able to continue the joys of living the glugster life and that both of you will remember that all is fair in love and war.

I do have a tiny little bone to pick. Whether the bone should be picked with the two of you or with Santa I'm not completely sure, but here goes. How on earth did Angel end up with a Prince Charming? Afterall, I'm the one who placed him on my Christmas Wish list???? For those of you who are wondering...no, Santa did not deliver him to my doorstep on Christmas Eve......but it's probably better that way. Santa acted with a bit of wisdom.........if the poor guy had to cope with my insanely loving and lovable family at Christmas time he would have turned and run for the hills.

All jokes aside...congratulations you two! I really hope that things work out for the best and that smiles and happiness is all we'll ever hear about this relationship in blogland. I suppose the odd fight and make-up scenario will be OK too:-)

Kisses to you both

Ruby

P.S. I won't be returning to normal blogging until after the 7th, but as this is quite a memorable occasion for two people I've come to know I decided that it was worth the struggle with the dial-up modem to congratulate them.

Dear fellow bloggers

This is just a quick note to all of you sweet people whom I have grown to love and respect in the past couple of weeks.

I'm just letting you know that today at one I'm off to go on holiday, so i'll be pulling a bit of a disappearing act for a while. But I'll be back soon enough to share all the stories and odd people I've met on my travels.

Have a good one!

Love

Ruby

Guy who made me the other woman

I hope this letter finds you well, still married and not cheating on your wife. You are probably very surprised to receive this letter, but my guess is the stress as to what I'm planning to do with what I know, how that affects your life, and how much money I'm asking to keep my mouth shut is overpowering the feelings of bittersweet love and pleasant surprise. Relax dude, I'm not here to blackmail you for cheating, nor am I here to demand attention. This letter is simply something I had to do, OK?

Yesterday I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self. Now granted, in a normal world that would be very odd, but being me this is nothing new or odd or sinister. You are a part of my life that I have sort of put away from my mind for a long time. But yesterday as I was writing this letter you popped up and I warned my younger self against you. And now I can't help thinking and mulling.

I had always promised myself that I will never ever be the other woman. I can't stand the fact that people can have a relationship with a guy/girl knowing that at the end of the day that guy goes back to someone else. And then one day, unknowingly, I became exactly that. For 9 whole months you kept the facade going, and despite the fact that I've been trying to convince myself you are a horrible person and that was a terrible time in my life, I have to admit that it was an awesome 9 months. I never knew about the lovely sweet girl back home. The one you spoke to on the phone once a day, visited for a weekend once a month, and proposed to on the night you broke up with me.

You didn't even have the guts to face me! you broke up with me over the phone....my guess is this was right before you asked her to marry you. Ass! Then you refuse to answer the one and only call I made to you to try and sort our relationship out. I found out from a friend who came from your home town that you were engaged..you guys have been seeing each other for over 3 years. I won't deny the fact that for a brief couple of days my bubbly spirit was crushed and I had to face facts......I was the other woman.

I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and blaming myself for this, but finally i realised that this was not my fault. I do not have to feel bad, I didn't do anything wrong. I was not at fault....you were! you started courting me, knowing my views, pretending to agree with me, and knowing that another girl was waiting for you at home. I refused to feel bad...and I returned to living my life.

For a while I considered contacting the poor naive girl and informing her of your betrayal. Wanting you to suffer her rejection to pay for what you've done. Not wanting her to have to discover how treacherous the groom to be is after it was too late. I finally decided against it......maybe you have changed(i doubt it) or maybe her whole life would be shattered by the news. The truth is...i didn't want to face her wrath, plus, you're such a bloody charmer, you probably would have convinced her I'm a stalker or something.

I have changed my views about not being the other woman ever so slightly, and it now goes like this.......I will never knowingly be the other woman. I can't change what i don't know about, I'm not 100% perfect, I make mistakes, but I can sure try to make the little bit around me as close to perfect as it can be.

You're probably still sitting there wondering what I want. Well, I really don't want anything. This is my way of letting go of something that has bothered me for the last 3 years. I forgive you dude. By forgiving you I'm letting go and giving myself freedom from the past. And I hope that somewhere along the line when you realise what you've done you have the courage to forgive yourself.

Regards

Ruby

Dear sweet 13 year old Ruby

Hey dollface......my guess is you are smiling right about now, you just love letters don't you? Along with the thrill of receiving a letter you are probably a little puzzled as to how a letter from the future is even possible, and what on earth made your 25 year old self decide to send you this letter. Unfortunately I can't answer your first question. It's got a whole lot to do with time travel and atoms and stuff like that. Just think of it as a letter brought to you by Michael J Fox via the Back to the Future movies.

As for your second question.............I was tagged in a meme by two wonderful ladies, Nats and Sheena, to write this letter. What on earth is a meme you might ask. I'll just leave that part up to you, you'll figure it out eventually.

My guess is that you are now somewhere in your first year of high school. The rational side of you won the long battle as to whether or not you should go to a high school for fine arts or a normal high school and you are attending a wonderful, but normal school....well as normal as a small town high school with mostly boarding school kids can be. You later learn that you were extremely privileged to attend such a small school and that your experience is very different from most of you big city friends(the ones you meet later).....different but much much better.

There is so much that I could tell you, but I'm going to try and limit myself to only a few things as the letter will never end at the rate I'm going. You know that really handsome blond guy, the one with the curly locks who is the school's cricket and rugby star? You end up dating him for 2 years. Actually, I think that will happen pretty soon, as you started dating him somewhere during your first year in high school. That silly Danica girl tries to break you guys up by kissing him in front of you, but like the prince charming he is he pushes her away quite roughly and runs to your side...relationship saved. The relationship unfortunately does not make it past 2 years, but we're still friends today....he's getting married next year by the way.

If it is at all possible for you not to date or even become attracted to Mr Drews that would be fabulous. Yes, I know he is tall, dark, handsome, mysterious and 18. I realise that you have just turned 16, your gorgeous, fabulous and everybody loves you, but trust me on this one, he's bad news! He tries to beat you up when you finally break up with him(since your responsible and rational), but lucky for you Isak comes to the rescue. Yes, the same Isak you now hate.....you guys will become firm friends in the not too distant future.

By the time you finish high school as head girl and dux you are well respected, independent, confident and you know what you want out of life. Your friends love you, even your enemies tend to like you and the only people who despise you are the girls who date your best male friends. The principal pays you R2 000 for you final matric results(FYI) and you looked unbelievable at your Farewell.

You finally decided to let your dream of being a doctor go in October of your final year in high school and started studying for a Chartered accountant at the University of Potchefstroom the next year. This is the last comment I'll make about your academics.....you do really well and you pass your CTA...so don't worry about it OK?

You stay in Res for 3 years and in this time you have tons of friends and quite a few love stories. You meet the most amazing man, who later becomes a famous singer and is still your friend. You never consider dating him while studying, but trust me at 25 your suddenly discover that if he were to ask you to marry him...you would. nuff said!

The last year at UNI you live in a house with your best friend and 7 guys. Your best friend is absolutely awesome by the way...but you'll only meet her when you go to uni. The guys are great and you feel like an absolute princess. They become some part of your very selective close friends. This is also the year you end up dating a guy for 9 months. He dumps you without any reason and treats you like shit.(oops sorry.......don't learn to say that word OK???) You later find out that he had been dating another girl for the past 3 years and they got engaged the night he broke up with you. Dry your tears and move on. Do not feel guilty!!! You are not the other woman...you were unaware of this and have no reason what so ever to feel bad. You are gorgeous, proud, pure of heart and he didn't deserve you to begin with.

After Uni you move to JHB. You love it! You live in a house with a bunch of musicians and are envied by thousands of young girls for actually living with these guys. You are however, not attracted to any of them and have no dirty little gossip secrets to swop with the hundreds of screaming fans who corner you after you received a kiss on stage. You finally move into your own little house in 2007.....just before your twenty fifth birthday.

You will be involved in a horror crash late one evening near the end of September 2005. You will be bedridden for 2 months, but you survive. Not untouched, but completely unfazed. I'm sure you do not want to know this now but your older brother scooted over to England right after he finished university. He stays there for 4 years and also meets the girl of his dreams. She is not English, she's a yank, so hurray hurray, you go to the states for a wedding and a holiday.

You will also meet your boy. Remember in Little Women how Laurie was Jo's boy? Well, that's exactly what Nicky becomes. He has this gigantic crush on you initially, but he will outgrow it and you guys become the best of friends. He will at times break your heart, but he loves you to bits and will move mountains for you if it was needed.

You also end up dating a multi-millionaire for about 2 months. He owns the Seattle Coffee chain(you know the coffee shops you find in Exclusive books??, oh wait, that will only start happening a bit later, so look out for them when you are about 17) He's a sweetheart, but he's not the one for you. You keep feeling like he's trying to buy you with all the gifts and money he's flashing around. The romantic relationship doesn't last too long, but you guys become great friends after the initial healing process of 2 months.

I almost don't want to tell you about this one. It's meant to be a surprise.....so I'll only give you the slightest of details. You will date a very famous radio DJ for a while. He's awesome and even after you break up a part of your heart belongs to him. So when you meet a funny intelligent guy in a bit of a dodgy bar and you find him a tad entertaining...don't give him such a hard time OK??He's an angel and you end up loving him very much.

All in all I think you will be proud of the woman you have become. Always stay true to yourself and don't worry about all the people who get nasty when they become jealous of your fabulous life. You are successful, loving, bubbly, hard working, honest and simply the best person you could possibly be! Your relationship with your parents become even better than what it currently is...so you never have to worry about them not supporting you.

There is so much more to tell, but I've just noticed that my "little" letter is becoming very very long. So I'll stop here.

I love you angel!

Lots of hugs and kisses

Ruby

P.S. - I've noticed that I keep switching between past and present tense as this whole time travelling thing is a bit confusing.......for me it's already in the past, for you it's in the future and somewhere in between it is present.....normally your english grammar and spelling is just fabulous....so don't worry about it.

My Insurance

RE:NEW PREMIUM AND EXCESS EFFECTIVE 1 JANUARY 2008

I am quite sure that this little letter won't make the slightest difference. I am well aware of the fact that my one little policy probably doesn't affect your gigantic company at all and should I move it won't make any difference to you at all. But you do realise that Word of mouth is the best way to get either negative or positive publicity.......in this case you can be certain that it will in fact be very very negative. I don't even know if anybody will actually read this here letter, and if you do, you'll probably be wondering what this stupid silly girl could possibly wish to accomplish. The fact of the matter is that if I don't do something about the fact that I'm unhappy, I have no right to complain about it later. But I'm getting way ahead of myself....let's start at the beginning.

Yesterday I received a letter from you, my insurance company. I have been your client since the beginning of 2006 when I bought my new car. Thus far your service has been excellent, I haven't had one single complaint. Damn, I'm getting ahead of myself again. Anyway, so I received the letter that you sent me stating that my premium will be increasing from the first of January 2008. This I found quite acceptable, as it is the date of commencement of my policy and my annual increases usually take place on this date. The increase was slightly steep, but I wasn't quite worried yet.

My heart attack of the day only came when I turned the page over to take a look at my new "Policy excesses schedule" DAMN!!!!!!! My normal excess had increased with over R5000????what??? this is a mistake right? or so I thought at the time anyway. I mean seriously...how can my excess be almost R7000? I might as well not have any insurance at all.

I contacted the customer service department immediately, this had to be sorted out. She ever so sweetly informed me that it was not a mistake and that the amount in my letter was in fact right. I remained calm...at first anyway. Her reply on my series of questions and statements ranging from "why?", "its ridiculous" and "how the hell do you rationalize an increase of over R5 000 in my excess" was simply that because of the high interest rate, inflation and the fact that the petrol price has increased so much have caused panel beater fees to increase and that is why I have a large increase....but seriously over R5000? You have got to be kidding me!!! It's not as if I am a high risk customer or anything!

I've only claimed from you guys once! and that's when I had a little bumper bashing in July. The costs weren't that high and you were able to recover all the costs from the other dude's insurance. So please tell me.....WTF??????

This letter is merely my means of letting you know how upset I am. How betrayed I feel and to let you know that I am already making plans to move insurance companies. My broker is already obtaining quotes on my behalf. And be sure that under no circumstances will I ever advise anyone to buy their insurance policy from you.

Regards

Ruby

Dear Glug

I *keep forgetting to do this. Thank you so much for tagging me in one of your little meme's. I appreciate the thought and will do my best to try and answer the little questions to the best of my musical ability. Please do not take this as an open invitation for all meme's to cross your path. If you have to tag me please do so with only the really interesting and fun ones. This one isn't too bad and therefore I've decided to complete it.

I do realise that for some reason you were under the impression that I will have difficulty in formulating this silly little thing to look like a letter. How silly of you;-) You seem to have forgotten the fact that I am indeed a genius. Or maybe you'll be forgiven if you simply plead ignorance.

According to the information supplied to me I have to put my ipod on shuffle(i don't have one) and answer the questions with song titles. I decided to compromise since I couldn't bear the thought of letting you down cyber friend. My computer's play list has been set to random....so here goes nothing;-)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK?" YOU SAY?
Since you been gone - Kelly Clarkson

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
Eye of a tiger

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Just friends - Gavin DeGraw ( I doubt it)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Shine - Imogen Heap (Cool)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE
I believe in a thing called love - dunno

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO
What brought the house down - Ditty Bops

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Drop the pilot - Joan Armatrading

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Every breath you take - Sting & the police (aawwwweeee)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN
Again - Lenny Kravitz

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Lover Boy - Billy Ocean

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND
Something about you - Five for fighting

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Baby be mine - Parlotones (LOL)

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Bitter stranger - Nickle Creek

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Tangled - Maroon5

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fever - Michael Bubble

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
SOS - Rihanna (Not very likely)

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I'm not missing you you - Stacie Orrico

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL
You're crashing but you're no wave - Fall Out Boy (uhm???)

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
You Learn - Alanis Morissette

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Beep - The pussycat dolls (I guess it's gonna remain a secret for just a little while longer)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Beautiful - The Parlotones (I kid you not!)

22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Keep forgetting - The Cinematics (Sort of *)

I hope that this will sufficiently quench your curiosity as to my taste in music;-p You also requested that I name the people I would like to complete this little meme. So here goes nothing:
Vimbai
Blond Blogshell
High in Dubai
Natalie
Miss M

Good luck guys

Regards

Ruby

P.S. - I'm sorry, I'm still a bit stupid, so unfortunately I didn't put the links in? I know how to insert a link but then it shows the whole bloody link???????? If someone can help me I'll fix this so only the name shows it would be greatly appreciated.

Sandwich Baron

RE: CHEESE SALAD

Today I ordered a Cheese Salad from your Melrose Crossing outlet. It's not that there was anything wrong with the taste, the packaging, the price or the ingredients. In fact, I sort of enjoyed the little salad. Or I would have if I was preparing myself to eat a french salad.

Thing is...when I order a cheese salad I expect delectable cubes of different types of cheeses...at least Feta and Mozzarella..... along with some salady things like lettuce, onions, tomato etc. But a lot of focus on the cheese cubes since it is after all a CHEESE salad. Am I wrong in expecting this???

I do not expect a normal French salad with grated cheese on top! It's an outrage! If I wanted a French Salad I would have ordered one and asked for a little bit of grated cheese on top. But I wanted a cheese salad...I was in the mood for cheese!

I would appreciate it if you could look into the matter for me.

Regards

Ruby

Home Affairs complaints department

I will keep this short and sweet as I'm pretty sure you receive thousands of complaints a day. My complaint will probably not make on iota of difference, but I'd still like to at least go on record with this complaint.

I applied for the renewal of my license in December 2006, just before I left for the US. I came back 6 weeks later and immediately made a trip to your offices just in case it might be there....yes yes, I know we are supposed to wait for a little collection note to reach us in the post, but your system doesn't work all that well and people don't always get these little notes....so I just went. No license.

Ever since the end of January I have made a monthly trip to you offices in order to find out if my license has showed up...no luck. I've phoned, I've complained, I've thrown nice little Ruby tantrums, I've been nice, I've even tried bribing...still, no luck.

Then last week my father phones me all the way from the Zulu Kingdom. My collection notice had been sent to them..how odd! I didn't even give you their address?? I gave you my address, in Joburg. Not being one to be easily phased I got my Dad to fax me a copy of the thing for "just in case". And set out to your offices early this morning...bearing my now expired temporary license that I had to get when I applied for the renewal, since the old one had expired the week before.

I would like to mention that I think you need to send all your staff members on a social interaction course or something. It is extremely impolite to start yelling at a client when she requests her new license. Needless to say, this morning didn't start out well. I was yelled at, told that the license had been sent back, asked why I had waited a whole year, told that I had to re-apply for a renewal as well as a new temporary license which would mean that I would have to pay for everything again. Ever so sweetly I tried to explain to your employee that I was quite sure that if he would just take a look he would find my license along with all the others, as the collection notice had only been sent at the end of November and that I've been there once a month for the past 11 months and they've told me every single time that they didn't have my license yet. He only knew one sentence:"eish, you have to pay again" Sorry dude!!! ain't gonna happen, this was so not my fault.

Anyway, after a shouting match of about 20minutes some other senior official finally showed up and after listening to me carefully...like the other guy should have done....he promised to go and see if he could find my license with all the others. And guess what??? He found it!

So here is a neatly composed list of my complaints and issues:
1. Please make sure that in future it doesn't take 12 months to renew someones license
2. Please inform your employee that the customer should be treated with respect and kindness......we pay your salary after all
3. Shouting at Ruby first thing in the morning is not good...as your employee will inform you
4. Please send all you employees on 2 courses, the first being one in basic English, the second being one in social skills.

Regards

Ruby

Dear Co-worker Beatch!

Today I have had enough! In the past 3 years you have made every single day a misery....except of course when I'm not at the office. I've been patient, I've been kind, I've been hard working, understanding, sweet, nice, friendly and just about everything under the sun which can be used to described pretty much treating you with respect and friendliness even though you don't deserve this. But now it is just becoming way beyond ridiculous!

You are one gorgeous lady....we all know that. You look 22 despite the fact that you have just turned 33. You are smart and well educated but all of this is spoilt by you behaviour. You are a bitch. I'm so sorry, but there is just no other way to put it.

You treat me with disdain, because for the first time ever you actually have competition in the office in all departments. Looks, brains, personality.....and to make it even worse I'm better liked because nobody considers me to be a bitch. I'm nice, friendly, sometimes difficult, but first to apologize if I was wrong...unlike certain people I know who considers all other people to be stupid, ugly, always wrong, and just way below them on the social ladder. Well wake up missy!!!!

I don't mean to be vain or anything, but you are driving me insane. You are not as absolutely cool as you think you are!You are driving a mini cooper..not because you bought it but because your rich boyfriend paid for it...you only wear designer clothes...because your rich boyfriend buys it.....you go overseas at least twice a year...only because your rich boyfriend takes you.

You are 33 years old, cant do anything for yourself, have no social skills and well frankly......without you little rich ass boyfriend you don't really have anything. You despise the fact that I get along well with everyone else at the office, because the boss loves me and is forever singing my praises, the fact that I don't rant and rave back at you when you shout at me like a real fish wife, that i was given the corner office even though you've been at the company longer....the fact that people like me for me and I don't need money to impress them. The fact that I was the one that received the Management position for next year while your articles expired without any future at our company.

Now that I'm done ranting and raving I actually feel quite sorry for you. It is so sad to see someone with your talents waste them. I honestly do think that you are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen(no I'm not Lesbian), you are extremely intelligent and if your boyfriend wants to spoil you that much...well done on finding one like that. I just don't see why you have to be such a bitch to everyone around you? hell, you even try and command the boss around....what's up with that? I'm sick of you telling everyone horrible gossip stories which are so far from the truth that everyone just laughs at you anyway. I'm tired of you trying to make me feel like I am inferior. I'm tired of being friendly and respectful when all of my niceness just gets thrown back in my face.

Everyone is writing your farewell card since your article contract expires at the end of the year along with mine. They are all lying. "We're gonna miss you", "come and visit", yeah, whatever! everybody dislikes you...surely you know that by now. I've decided not to write anything. I'd rather let you think I'm a bitch by not leaving you a nice little message in the card than put a lie in ink forever.

I've just read the letter and realised that it might sound vain. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be, and actually, its not. Its just that I'm so sick of you trying to make me feel like I'm an excuse for a human being. I'm not! I'm good at what I do, and I'm not nice to people cause I'm scared they might dislike me if I'm not. I'm nice to people because that's who I really am.....if i did act like a bitch every now and again I wouldn't remain true to the person I've become. Live with it.

I'm not writing anything in you card, but in truth I do wish you the best for the future. I hope you get a job and a boss that suits you. And I certainly hope that you and mister Rich BF will get married sometime soon, it's about time. But please....for heavens sake...don't come back and visit and never, never live with the illusion that you are sorely missed on this side

Regards

Ruby

Dear Doctor

Since I understand that you must be a very busy man I shall make this short and sweet. I suspect that I might have cracked/broken/smashed a teeny weeny little bone in my right foot. I say suspect since I'm no professional in the medical area, but have had plenty bones broken, ligaments torn, bones completely smashed etc, and therefore I think I'm entitled have an opinion on this.

I realise that you will probably tell me the same thing you tell every other unsuspecting patient be it over the phone or otherwise..."make an appointment and come and see me". I have 2 problems with this.

First of all I am absolutely petrified of doctors. As in I get completely hysterical, I cry, I become a spoilt little child who likes throwing tantrums.This is a big problem. You'd think that after the 2 weeks in hospital and all follow up visits I'd have grown used to you people in white lab coats..but no...I'm still petrified.

The second problem is more of an ethical one. I have a problem with the fact that a doctor can charge me anything between R200 and R400 per visit of 10minutes max! jeepers! and I thought my charge out rate was ridiculous! It doesn't cost you a cent to quickly glance at my foot, write a little note to the lady at the x-ray centre and send me on my merry way within 2 minutes...this of course after you made me wait for 40minutes...despite the fact that i pitched up on time for my appointment. I think, since I am paying you a small fortune, that you should at least have the decency to see me at the appointed time.

Maybe you can just e-mail me a little note which I can produce to the sweet little lady at the x-ray lab? that way I don't have to see you and nurse a stomach ulcer due to the stress caused by this and you can save the 2 minutes you are going to spend talking to me.....lets say at a fee of around R50?

I'll describe the foot to you. Its blue, slightly black, green, purple and very red around the point of impact. Extremely swollen, though I dare say I managed to get rid of the worst of that by applying some herbal stuffies. And it hurts like hell when there is any physical contact, when i have to walk...hell, actually it just hurts like hell all the time....have found that large amounts of alcohol works for a short while, but a more permanent solution would be nice.

I hope that you and I can come to some sort of arrangement in this regards

Regards

Ruby

Dear Treadmill

Yes yes I know.......treadmills are created for the sole purpose of running/walking as exercise, not to fall over. But it wasn't entirely my fault and I'm pretty peeved at you at the moment.



On Saturday night we went over to a friends house for a braai.(The very same braai I invited gorgeous to) The idea was that I was supposed to look super cool, super gorgeous, in control and everything but clumsy and accident prone....which is something I tend to be every now and again. But you just had to go and spoil it all didn't you????



For some odd reason you have been placed right in front of the door going out to the lapa...goodness knows why??? but this means that in order to get in or out you have to squash yourself between the door frame and you, dearest darling treadmill. Earlier in the evening you almost tripped me....quite by accident I suppose. But I can't afford to go falling all over the place, so I asked you owner to either move you or to just fold the treading part up(the way you are supposed to be when not in use).



I was promised that the treadmill had been moved and that it is now safe for me to move in and out without fearing that you might cause my bodily harm. Like a fool I believed them! I was sitting outside with Gorgeous, having a drink and minding my own business when I suddenly remembered about the bread in the oven....damn! I made a mad dash for the kitchen...and lo and behold...whose still lying across the entrance....you!!! you lousy peace of torturing equipment!



Too late did I realise the trap you had set in the dark. I hit my foot against you with such force that I heard bone crack, the next moment i was sprawled all over you, trying my best not too cry and not sure whether the tears were from embarrassment or pain(trust me...it was the pain!!!). Lucky for me Gorgeous heard the commotion inside and like the true gentleman he is he came to my rescue. Plenty of ice, another drink and unexpected kiss made me feel a little better...until I realised my whole foot was blue...as in deep blue...on top and I had a lump the size of my foot on top of my foot!!!! I couldn't put my shoe back on...sigh!



But your evil plan to make me appear like a complete idiot didn't succeed you mean spirited devil machine! He just liked me so much more...since apparently he saw a side of me which didn't appear 100% perfect and now he felt less intimidated by the fact that it seems as if I never do anything stupid or wrong(boy, if he only knew!)



Even though your evil plot failed I still have to live with the consequences of your evil doings:-( So I've been limping around my clients office, kicking off the shoes whenever I can, and feeling like a good cry every time I move my foot at all......starting to wonder if maybe I've broken a little bone in there????



In future...pls remember that your purpose is to help people get fit.....not to try and assassinate people or even just make them look like complete idiots...unless they are in a gym and using you to run...then you may.



Regards

Limping Ruby

Dear Readers(I guess)

Since this letters' only purpose is to inform everyone that's been nagging me about how my date went, it was rather difficult to place it in letter form. I did however, finally decide to just address it to all you readers....since it is really for you anyway;-)

Since I am a lady after all the information placed here will be very selective of nature. But I'm sure it will be enough to keep all you special people very happy and content.

The date was absolutely fabulous! Gorgeous was a perfect little gentleman, which impressed me quite a bit. You see, my dad has pretty much spoilt me for all men. My dad is an old school gentleman. He opens doors, he always goes around the car and opens the car door for both me and my mother, he's forever holding my mommy's hand, public affection is not a problem for him and he treats all women with an unbelievable amount of respect. And I think somewhere in my mind I find things like that very important. My folks are happily married after 31 years, and I think this had something to do with it.

OK, so back to my date. He picked me up, he opened car doors for me(I've never mentioned this), he pulled my chair out for me and he was polite, interesting and very very entertaining the whole evening. He was also very honest about his past(which i like) and about what he wants out of life and from the woman in his life. He's 30, he doesn't wanna waste his time with someone he considers to be a bad choice as a potential wife.......a bit scary...but considering that my mind is working the same way these days even though I'm only 25 and considering the very honest letter on Friday...he received the benefit of the doubt.

I had a fantastic time. He made me laugh, I found him intellectually stimulating......which is something I've found lacking in most of the guys I've dated in the last year except for one.....he was easy to talk to:-)

He was kinda upset that i wouldn't let him come to Hartebeespoort with me the next day, but understood that it was a special thing that had been planned for weeks and was only for me and 2 of the lovely girls in my life. He picked up when i invited him to a braai at a friends house on Saturday night tho. I think he enjoyed it. I was a bit astounded at my nerve when I invited him to the braai, but decided that if my friends didn't completely freak him out or send him running..he might actually be worth keeping around.

The braai went off well, the friends love him, he loves the friends......and yep, he didn't run;-) sweet sweet boy! So I'm guessing everybody wants to know if we are now "romantically involved" or not.......well, no. I'm taking this one slow. I'm just letting myself get to know him in an environment I feel comfortable with, and surprisingly enough he is cool with that. That's one of the first signs that a guy might be a keeper, he is willing to first be my friend and then the love of my life....i like him;-)

Am I in love? Do I feel all jittery when I see him? Do i have a tiny crush on him? The answer to all of the above is no. But don't despair...it doesn't mean I won't be or i won't have. I do not fall in love easily. I am not likely to have a crush on anybody and I certainly don't become jittery around anyone.....at least not until I've fallen in love with them. It takes me a while. I don't fall in love with strangers. I might think that they are awesome, gorgeous, interesting and entertaining. But I only fall in love once I've gotten to know the person and I know what they are all about......I take a while;-) I'm weird...apparently. But that's OK too, that's just who I am and I can't help it. Personally I think that's a whole lot safer than just falling head over heels in love with someone you hardly know.

I hope that you guys have received all the info you need....if not feel free to ask;-)

Regards

Ruby

PS - glug....I'm a lady and ladies don't take pictures when they are not being good but good at something

PPS - shit babe......i certainly hope you are not reading this!

Dear Date

Oh my goodness! Aren't you just the sweetest piece of eye candy I've had in a looooong time....and I've had plenty eyecandy in the last couple of months. Yesterday when you waltzed into my office and helped me with my little blog spot problem I just knew we were going places.

After staying in my office way longer than needed or originally intended, popping in twice during the day just to make sure I was "OK" and being caught out discussing the "pretty little auditor"with the production manager, you finally plucked up enough courage to just ask me out for drinks. sweet sweet boy;-)

So tonight we will be going to some crazy cocktail bar to have a few drinks and to get to know each other better. But before we get going....there are a couple of things that you need to know about me. They are things that I've discovered about myself which sometimes irritate the crap out of people...but mostly they are the very reason my friends love me. So here goes nothing.

Firstly and most importantly I suppose I can be full of crap. Or maybe I should rather just state that I know what I want and under no circumstances am I prepared to settle for second best. Why should I? Actually, nobody likes settling for second best, I'm just very outspoken about it, if that makes me full of crap, that's your problem.

I am a woman who lives my career and is extremely driven and passionate about what she does. A lot of guys are quite freaked out by this...lets hope you're not one of them:-) I have a mind of my own, I'm extremely independent and i have a strong personality. A lot of men find this intimidating, which usually means that I end up being in charge of the relationship....I really hope that you'll be able to handle me. As I've said before, I think the day that I actually meet Mr Right, I'll be as submissive as a little lamb...but I'm still waiting for a guy that can handle that side of me.

When I really like someone I tend to tease and jest a lot. Sometimes people mistake that as I don't like you or I think you're stupid...pls do not make that mistake. I'm extremely talkative, but I can be a good listener when the situation calls for that. I pretty much function in my own little universe most of the time. I only venture down to earth to talk to individuals who appear intelligent, stimulating and entertaining. If that makes me a snob I'm sorry, but I'm bored easily and therefore don't waste my time with people I know I won't find interesting.

I think that is pretty much that. I would, however, like to set your mind at ease over most of these. The fact that I've already spoken to you, teased you, didn't get angry at the fact that you were discussing me with other people and agreed to have drinks with you tonight, already conquers most of the issues mentioned above. So I don't think you have too much to worry about.

OK, I'm off to go and think of what I'm wearing tonight. After all, I have to look absolutely stunning! It's only fair, you had to put yourself out there and ask me out.....now I'll repay you for the risk you took

Regards

Ruby

Dear Santa (2)

Santa darling, i know I already sent my list to you earlier this week, but this isn't an add on, I'll stick to my original 10:-) I would just like to give you some advise?

I have found the lounge suite i want! so if you could just give me a ring when you have a second I'll direct you to the right company and the right suite in the right colours. I totally fell in love with this suite. Its GORGEOUS! And no, i didn't hit the Caps lock button by accident, it's meant to be in Capitals.

so be an absolute darling and give me a ring OK? Oh alright, maybe I do have one thing to add to my little list from the other day...but it's totally selfless and I don't think you will have a problem with ethics here. So here comes nr 11: Please please could you find a new set of kidneys for My Boy??? I have a feeling he's really gonna need it! And when you deliver it, please make sure that you kick his ass on the way out for being such a complete bastard at times.

Love

Ruby

Dear Sorta Guy

How dare you??? How dare you?? how dare you?? I'm so upset right now that all i really want to do is cry. But no, I have to wear a professional little smile and appear all calm and collected to all at work. How dare you???

You have been my best male friend for what feels like a lifetime. I guess when you really think about it, its only about 2 years....but it feels like I've know you forever. You are the only guy I know who really really gets me. You are free spirited, spontaneous, the only straight guy I know who loves shopping and knows more about fashion than I do, my fun partner, my unromantic soul mate....all in all, you're my boy

I haven't really spoken to you in weeks. Not because of a lack of trying on my behalf mind you. I've been calling and smsing and all i get is silence. This caused my heart to constrict in fear more than once. You're back in the evil world where you have come from. Not as one of them, but you have to face those people everyday, you work there. My biggest fear for weeks has been that you have returned to that evil, smelly world of drugs, booze, sex and generally throwing your life away in the haze that cocaine and heroine brings....i wanted to die...and still no reply.

Then just now you sent me a message, told me you were sick, you were going for an operation. When i wanted to know what was wrong you went offline....asshole! but I'm not easily put off...I smsd you. For a change you actually replied...avoiding my question at first, but eventually failing...kidney problems..they are going to try and see if they can fix it during the operation...you don't sound hopeful.

I tell you that I'm worried, I would like to see you, i miss you. And what do you do?? you send me a snotty sms telling me that if I missed you so much I should have come and seen you at your restaurant...the one I'm starting to wish you never became a part of. how dare you????? you're the one whose been ignoring me and now you blame me????? Please excuse me for not understanding???

Being the person I am I didn't retaliate...oh no...I wanted to know whether I could come visit you. And you refuse? you tell me, the person you have called your best friend so many times, that she can not come and visit you while you go through one of the toughest things you've ever faced??? I've been there through most of you big decisions in you life...and you refuse me this one??

How dare you shut me out of your life? I am the one person you have always turned to, the one who has supported you while you went through some really tough shit...and this is how you treat me. Your attitude tells me that there is something that you're not telling me. You are hiding something....and that worries me more than anything. What are you not telling? and more importantly...why? Are you afraid that I'll be disappointed? that i won't love you anymore? that I'll judge you? I have known you in your worst and I've never pushed you away, judged you and i certainly haven't loved you less because of any of it. why would I start now?

I miss you my sweety! I love you and I'm so angry at you right now for shutting me out? Probably more hurt and worried than angry I guess. I just wish you would tell me whats going on...the suspense is killing me:-(

Love

Your Joe

Drunk dude who hit me at 160

Seriously dude...its been 2 freakin years! i think its time the consequences of you insanity stops haunting me.....but then again,I've been told that's wishful thinking. Whether I want to or not I'm going to have to remember you for ever and ever, or at least until I die anyway.

I think I've come through the worst of the trauma associated with the accident. And I've healed up pretty well, Thank God! But every day I am reminded of that fateful night....the night you decided to drink to much and chase around the suburbs at a 160km/h.....who the hell gave you the right you bastard!

Predictably enough you weren't injured...isn't that just sooo typical. I on the other hand was rushed to hospital. I had to phone the parentals all the way in Natal at 12 o'clock at night, I had 3 emergency operations, I was in hospital for two weeks, bedridden for 2 months, my car was wrecked, I am now officially a woman of steel and I, who have never in her life had headaches, now get them on an almost daily basis.

I have to admit, I healed up just fine;-) I was blessed enough not to have any scars except for the tiny ones on my leg and hand where the operations were, I walk normally, I look normal, i do all the normal things, all in all I am pretty much normal. But the steel plate an screws in my leg will forever hurt when the weather changes and will set off every single metal detector I have to pass through. And it will also cause the American embassy to think I am a terrorist, by the way! The damage done to my neck was more severe than initially thought. Granted, I am grateful that I didn't break my neck...but at times the headaches are unbearable and I have become a real little pill popper when it gets really bad.

I'm still upset at the cops for merely sitting in their car. Their only only question to me was.."did someone die?" WTF????????From the stretcher I yelled a loud and unmistakable "NO". And that was that...they left. No breathalyzer for you, who was so drunk that none of us could understand a single bloody word you were saying.

The very thought of you causes tension in my body and I become all nauseated. But in some arb way I am grateful. I am glad that I am still alive(although you had nothing to do with that!) But these days I'm a way more alert driver, I am more grateful for all the little things I have and thanks to you I now drive a gorgeous little car...which is now 2 years old, but brand new when I got it after the 2 months of lying in bed. If the old one didn't end its life so dramatically I would probably have driven it for years....old as it might have been...it was my first car, my baby...gosh, we had so many memories the two of us;-)

I have no idea what happened to you after the last time you phoned me while I was in hospital. As I was in a drug induced state I do not recall much of the conversations apart from me crying and screaming at you to leave me the hell alone...you've done enough to ruin my life........or something like that anyway.

I hope that these days you are a more responsible driver. I hope that somewhere along the line you had made peace with yourself, as i do remember you being riled with self reproach and loathing after you got the news of my injuries. I sincerely hoped that you have learned from you mistake. I think the real reason for this letter is just to tell you that I am OK. Actually, I'm better than OK...I'm great. And I forgive you for everything that has happened to me...I really do.

Regards

Ruby

Dear All

Good morning y'all!!! I hope you are all well rested and ready for the day???

Don't worry, this is not my letter for the day;-) This is just me trying to put the fact that I have been awarded a blogaward by Glugster on my blog in the form of a letter. A very bad one at that...sos!

I promise to have a proper letter up and running a bit later

Yours as always

Ruby

Dear Santa

I am sooo excited!! I can't believe it's that time of the year again. Time for family, friends, eating, drinking, having fun and sharing the love. Not forgetting you of course....and time for prezzies:-)

I have been a very good girl this year..promise! I've done all my work in record time, didn't kill Mr G(one of my clients) even though he insisted on calling me all kinds of odd names and chasing me away like a dog, I've paid all my bills, I helped people out and for goodness sake, just for not killing Mr G I should already be receiving a gigantic gift...what more do you want???

Anyway, I hope this letter reaches you in time. I'm not too sure about the North Pole, but I know for a fact that the South African postal service isn't that hot....so I'm hoping no greasy palmed, sniveling postal worker doesn't nick this letter. If such a person is reading this letter, please put it back in the envelope and replace it in Santa's post box please!

My list for Christmas is not that long. But here goes
1. Tickets for my Bro and Sister-in-law so they can join us for Christmas from the US
2. All expenses paid trip with spending money for two to Spain...preferably scheduled for
sometime after Christmas, as I'd prefer to spend Christmas with the family
3. A new lounge suite that will actually fit in my teeny tiny cottage
4. Nigella's new cook book:-)
5. Some Lacoste Touch of Pink.....mine is almost finished
6. GHD hair straightener
7. Asterix DVD collection(an odd request but i really love the old guy)
8. Stranger than fiction DVD(do i have to explain this one??)
9. The Postsecrets book
10. and last but certainly not least, if you could manage it, Prince Charming would be nice....preferably wearing an Armani suit;-)

Now Santa, I know you are very very busy, but I don't think these little things are too much? I know nr 10 might actually take some time, as I can be a bit difficult as to what I like and what I don't....but that's why I sent you the letter a month in advance, so you'll have some time.

Please take care and travel safely when you do your deliveries

Kisses

Ruby

My Chamber

Hey Crazy Ho!!

So its that time again hey? The time where the bug bites and you decide to head off again? I should be used to it by now, and in many ways I am...but i still miss you when you're gone....and i always wait in great anticipation on your return.

I am so sorry that you didn't get your visa:-( I was so sure you would! But maybe it's a sign. Maybe the US and private yachts just weren't the way to go. Maybe, just maybe, there is something way better out there for you. Just waiting for you to stumble across it. I know you'll find it:-) you're already looking, searching, hunting for it. Its exciting to watch;-)

Sometimes i wish that i could go with you on all these trips. All the adventures and all the nightmares that come with it. But my life is different from yours. My career took a whole different road. But please know that I am always here for you.

These days when i sit back and think about when we met, i laugh with tears running down my face. Who could have imagined?? Where would you find a pair more different and yet so alike? I've tried to think about the exact moment when we became best friends....two strangers thrown together in an adventure. After much thought i came down to one single moment in time not long after we met. It was the night we were finally initiated into the clan. After being painted, deep heated, bathed in foul smelling, rotten fish infested dam water we had to rush to our room to get all dressed up in the most tapped way imaginable. No bathing/showering allowed. We didn't want to get our room all dirtied by our smelly clothes and bodies....so what did we do? I'll never forget the image of the 2 of us standing in our door butt naked, wet, freezing, smelling awful but laughing at each other. That is the moment when we cemented our friendship. And what an awesome friendship it has become. An odd pair we might be(Chartered Accountant + Graphic Designer = Chaos)

We have seen each other at our worst...and nothing you could possibly do would surprise me anymore. You have become like the sister i never had. You understand me, my silly sense of humour and of course the fact that i have a few weirdeties. You have never judged me. You have never tried to lead me anywhere, but rather stand next to me holding my hand, running through unknown territory with me. Ever willing to fall as long as I fall along with you.

Our chamber song is known by all who know and love us. And sometimes, just sometimes i wince when i think of the two of us dancing on bars singing it over karaoke mics.....but mostly it just makes me laugh.
"I'm young and I'm hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
Going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome I'm fallen
I'm angry at my father
Its me against this world and I don't care!"

I'd like to think that somewhere along the 7 years we have becoming slightly less hopeless, and that we are no longer going nowhere fast and that you at least are no longer angry at your dad. I never was, but the chamber song only worked if both of us were singing....so i just smiled and shouted along with you;-)

And do you remember our pathetic attempt at a Chamber cheer??? They weren't very impressed with us, but we collapsed in mirth. Ignored orders to "Stop laughing" and of course had to carry the consequences of our "senseless" act...At least it was worth it. I can't remember when last I had laughed that hard!

I wish you luck on your latest adventure. And i hope that you will be returning safely in due time so we can fulfill all those dreams we had about growing old together. Come back in one piece OK?

Love

Chamber Ruby

Washing powder marketing department

As this letter is appearing on public domain I'll refrain from mentioning your brands name(readers ignore, its either skip or omo....can't remember now). I do however have a pressing issue I would like to discuss with you.

At the moment you are using a TV ad which shows a little kid and its mommy in a zoo/animal rehab centre. The kid getting awfully dirty and then you guys call it pretreatment for clothes. Now, don't get all worked up. I realise that people mostly complain about washing powder adds as they are dull, uninteresting and generally underestimate the intelligence of the viewers. This add is however slightly different from your run of the mill washing powder ad, it's not quite as insulting to watch, so I'm not complaining....i have a query.

Please could you tell me whether the little kid is a boy or a girl? Initially i thought the kid was a little boy with longish hair. But in recent weeks I have been told by numerous people that it is in fact a girl. This has left me slightly confused and ever so irritated....I simply hate not knowing.

Being the rational and logic person that i am, I decided to contact the only people who would be able to tell me for sure. I would appreciate it if you could respond to this as soon as possible as i am a very busy young lady and can't afford to spend too much time thinking about this

Regards

Ruby

Dear CBD building society

The content of this letter is extremely important and might possibly save hundreds if not thousands of lives, more specifically the life of a certain miss Ruby, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Last year I was involved in a most unfortunate incident while temporarily working in one of your members. A certain building situated in Martin Street. For the buildings protection I will refrain from publishing its name and occupation, but i am quite sure that you will be aware of the individual i am referring to.

During November 2006 I was, as previously mentioned, working in the CBD, when all of a sudden there was a loud rumbling noise and the whole building collapsed. On top of us! I suppose it is possible that the trauma of the event has caused the scope of it to grow in my mind, but I can recall that the whole roof on the one side of the building did collapse.....the side of the building i was sitting in.

A number of us sustained injuries, some less serious than others, the worst of course being that the Fibre Glass Dust was embedded in our skin and caused us to itch for days on end....regardless of the number of showers taken.

We had to be rescued from the rubble by "firemen". It was a traumatic and seriously scary incident. And i still have nightmares.....OK, not quite, but you get the picture right?

This letter is a plea and to all your members to please refrain from collapsing in any way while little Miss Ruby finds herself once again inside the same member who collapsed previously. Your assistance in this regard will be greatly appreciated.

Regards

Ruby

The person at the edge of my mind

Dear sir, madam, thing, beast or whatever the hell you are

I'm writing you this letter because there are a number of things that I need to discuss with you rather urgently. I would appreciate if you could heed these guidelines as soon as possible as some of them are driving me quite insane...(or maybe that's your plan??)

First of all let me start out by asking how things are on that side of me. Are you coping? I know since Amanda left things have been quite hectic and you've been overworked....but Amanda wasn't an asset to me...she had to go.

One of the issues i need to discuss with you is the fact that i never receive urgent messages from you. They tend to pitch up at the control centre hours after the deadline time. You should know that the fact that i don't receive messages from you warning me to keep my mouth shut, not to laugh and to generally not do what I'm planing but to rather do the normal thing has landed me in heaps and heaps of trouble. This never used to be a problem, as Amanda had a decent piece of advise whenever the trouble blew up in my face. Now, you might ask me why i fired Amanda. The thing is that you never used to take this long to send messages to begin with, which meant that i didn't really need Amanda and therefor fired her.

Secondly I would like to point out to you that shouting at me will get you nowhere! I do not respond to loud levels of voice unless it is connected to a particularly enjoyable tune(trust me.....you can't make an enjoyable tune so don't even try). In future if you need to discuss something with me please speak at an appropriate volume level or drop me a letter.

Thirdly, and i think this might possibly be the most important point......would you please stop staring at my friend?????? Now, i know he's a hunk, he's a musician and he is an incredibly sweet boy...but seriously dude...you're becoming obvious! If you can't stop staring please relinquish control over the eyes and head to the control centre or to me personally if the control centre doesn't have the available staff.

Last but certainly not least. Please would you tell Tallulah who works down there that she has stacked quite enough "J-Lo-stock" as she calls it, and that she can stop now!!!! Its her fault that I'll have to actually start going to a bloody gym!!! I used to be slender with gorgeous curves...but the curves are getting larger and it seems I'll actually have to do some exercise for a change...blegh! Tell her some damage control might be in order.

That will be all for now. Thank you so much for your co-operation

Regards

Ruby

Happy Birthday Dadio

Happy Birthday Dad!!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day and that mom will spoil you rotten since i'm not there to help. May the year ahead be blessed beyond belief and may we be blessed with your earthly presence for many a year to come.

I am so glad that i was able to come and visit you guys over the weekend. Natal is always filled with peace and tranquility and as soon as i drive over the border at the top of the pass I just know i'm home. I think i'll always be a little "Natallertjie" at heart, and if i ever had the chance i will definitely return to the province of Milk & Honey.

The trip home yesterday was uneventful until i got stuck on the N12. Apparently some sort of chemical spilled on the highway after a horror crash and melted the tar. For the first time in my life i was able to drive against the traffic on a highway...legally!

Anyway, to get back to the reason why i'm writing you this letter. Thank you so much for all the years of support and love. I don't think i tell you guys often enough how much you mean to me. I am one blessed child and will always be your little baby princess....even when i'm married to my prince Charming. Thank you for understanding me and for standing next to me and helping me along on my race. I wish there is some way that I could repay you guys for everything you've done, but i can think of none....and wouldn't risk trying as it would never be enough.

Thank you for always being the one to apologize first, simply because you loved me too much to have a real fight. For always treating me with understanding and correcting me in a loving and safe environment. For letting me go when i decided to spread my wings on an early age. For still phoning me twice a week to catch up even though i am now completely independant. For sending those sms's on the most arb times just to tell me you love me. For rushing up to Jozi in the middle of the night covering 500km in record time to wait for me to wake up after my crash. For never judging me no matter what odd ideas I had.

Thank you for loving mom so much that after 32 years you guys are still so in love it's embarressing at times! For holding her hand in public, always being a gentleman even when you guys had a fight and covering her with kisses anywhere, any place. It's really special being part of a family where the image of a fairy tale family is reality.

Thank you for bringing me up in the best way you possibly could and teaching me that if a guy won't treat me like a princess and if he drives me to tears, he wasn't worth my tears to begin with. Thanks for doing the best you can! Just thanks.

Happy birthday once again Dadio!

Lots of love

Your little girl

Mister Bossman's son

You gorgeous man! I think you might have just made my day, my week, my whole bloody month!!!!

So, while you've been gallivanting all around North America on a Daddy sponsored couple of month holiday, I've been having withdrawal symptoms. A girl can only last so long without discussing a "very casual relationship" with anyone, pretend not to be listing to the bossman's discussion of the boys' holiday, live on short e-mails alone and not have any eye candy what so ever to stare at.

The fact that daddy dearest is unaware of our little liaison and suspects that our relationship is strictly due to the fact that you saved me from a collapsed building doesn't exactly help me in anyway. It is difficult to try and fish about you when I'm supposed to know your younger brother soooo much better since we have way more in common and had to take a course together. He's forever telling me about your bro's adventures, girls, parties, odd jobs and spending habits. No sweet boy information is forthcoming.

But this morning there was a weird number on my cellphone...i almost did not answer as i was in a meeting with the bossman(close call!!!!) I answered, heard your voice and almost freaked out completely! i only just managed to hold myself together long enough to make it to my office. And then of course started shrieking and giggling to the entertainment of the whole company...bossmann included.

You told me that you just had to talk to me and that second hand news obtained under the pretense of finding out how the business is doing just wasn't cutting it....yay!!! You miss me....you're probably lying, but that's OK too. We're just friends with benefits anyway;-) and last but not least...not one of the girls who has been throwing themselves at your feet(and I believe you here, since you look like a bloody superstar!!!) is nearly as gorgeous as i am....lies, lies all lies! but you made me giggle and smile anyway, cause i know that in our weird way you missed me too:-)

We'll probably never take the plunge and have a proper relationship...but you're good company and keep me properly entertained when I'm bored. I only wish you happiness, and i hope your having tons and tons of fun over there. But it was really good to hear your voice and to know that you miss your friend:-)

Of course all the shrieking, giggling and the running out of the meeting had to be explained when i returned. I've forgotten what a really bad liar I am:-( I tried to keep it as close to the real thing as i could without actually giving our little secret away.........."my friend who is touring North America". His reply..."maybe you should give him "bossman's son" number, he would love seeing some south Africans" "Uhm....yeah, maybe we should do that" And I'm sitting there thinking..."so what?? is you're gonna phone yourself???" Let's just hope your daddy loses that idea really quickly....otherwise this lie is gonna spiral outa control....again!
I hope you're having fun, and if you meet the girl of your dreams along the way......please just don't get married without me as your best lady ok? I miss you!

Love

Ruby

Dear Mr P

Today your company listed....and did really well(yes all right! I've been monitoring it on the net the whole day). So I think congratulations is in order.

Now that I have been presented with the chance I would like to discuss a few minor issues with you. I'm sure you'll agree that they are extremely relevant and I expect that you might find some of these very enjoyable.

First of all I would just like to clarify something for myself and would appreciate a truthful answer. I know you were a multi-millionaire before all this, but am I correct in understanding that you will now practically be a gazillionaire??? At sub 30?(wow)

Your dad and I have been discussing the possibility of a match made in heaven. He is of the opinion that there is no way in hell that any other woman but me will do. I have to admit that at first I was a bit unsure of this, but today clarity finally came to me(this of course had nothing to do with your share price shooting into the sky), and I tend to agree with him.

He is a dear sweet old man and personally I wouldn't mind having him as a father-in-law. It's your mum I'm a bit scared of! Very strict and very orthodox......which brings me to my next point. Religion might be an issue...at least for your mommy! Your dad recons that if we keep it quiet until after the wedding she won't have a choice in the matter. Do you have any opinions on this?

The Ferrari you bought cash really is a bit too much tho sweety. Since you are already driving around in a Porche........I have however, already found a solution to your problem. Please feel welcome to give me the second hand Ferrari as an engagement gift....i guess it will have to do until you can buy me a brand new one.

And then last but not least....we really have to work on your people skills. You have all this money, but an ex-wife and a string of broken relationships bears witness to a person who has a serious lack of them! Coming to a meeting with your cellphone attached to your ear is bad etiquette and staring at me the whole time is very unprofessional. Of course you'll be forgiven this time, as we will be getting married soon anyway, but don't you dare stare at any of your other business associates!

I hope to be hearing from you soon to sort out the minor details...such as getting to know you and not just your financial dealings..etc.

Love of the future

Ruby

P.S. Why can't you be more like your dad??? he's already stuck on me! Quick wedding, quick divorce and lots and lots of cash!

Accident Victim

I sincerely hope that this letter finds you alive and well. I have to admit that on some level I have my doubt as to if you actually will be OK, but for all our sakes I'm going to try and believe beyond reason that you will be just fine.



As usual my virtue of patience sort of flew out the window when the traffic was just standing still...again! It woke me up from my normal morning stupor in a very unpleasant and irritating way. By the time I had phoned my boss, postponed my meeting and discovered that i only moved about 20m in the last half an hour I was completely awake and ready to pounce on the individual responsible for the problem. I of course thought that there was a police road block, in peak traffic......the police just looove doing that! I never expected to come round the bend to find your poor broken body lying on a stretcher, lights flashing, sirens screaming and destruction all around.



My hands became clammy and my heart started to race at a thousand miles an hour. The breath I so easily take for granted became short, fast and laboured. My head started reeling and horror images were paraded around in my memory. Tears instantaneously filled my eyes, and the make-up so carefully applied this morning turned into a mess. Only the waterproof mascara proved its worth.



Your pain and suffering had brought up images so vividly that i had to stop for a second. Unable to peel my eyes away from the horror in front of me without really seeing what was there. I was seeing a different accident scene, feeling the pain so sharply again in my body that for a second i forgot myself and reached out to rub the injured leg.



Then, as i passed the world started to revolve around it's axis again. The colours shifted back into their usual bright self and the sirens faded into the background. And as my heart started pacing its self again everything just jumped back into place around me.



Sir, I hope you survived that horror. And i sincerely hope that one day, when all of the hurt and the nightmares and bitterness and the "why"questions pass that you will find the peace I have. That you will be grateful for everyday. For every person. That the fact that all metal detectors yell and cause chaos whenever you pass will cause you to smile. And that you will remember that for all practical reasons you shouldn't be here.



Yours gratefully



Ruby

My Friend

This letter took a little bit more thought than the previous two. I had to really sit down and think on how I want to word this. After much thought the best that i could come up with comes down to this: I applaud you!

We have been through some pretty rough times you and I. Most of which took place this year. You used to be like a brother to me, and you were the one friend i knew i could trust with my life......or so i thought anyway. As it turns out, you are human after all. Just a fighter and an idiot like the rest of us. Trying to survive, and like the rest of us, you have one flaw. At the end of the day, even though we may be the most selfless beings alive, when it comes down to the rough and tumble..........we fight for self preservation, and neighbourly love is forgotten.

You broke my heart my friend, and sent me reeling into the unknown chasm of distrust and paranoia. Even as i tried to fix my two feet on solid earth again after a bitter journey and reached out to you to try and work things out my hand was slapped away and my kind and loving words were shoved in my face.

You have taught me a bitter lesson which I still wish could have gone unlearned...........a lesson in the reality of the evilness of man. At the end of the day...none of us are good. Not me, not you and certainly not the people around us who just watched us destroy our treasure and instead of helping us to pick up the pieces, they scattered them....way beyond our reach.

I've helped myself out of the chasm.....not at the same place i tried before, but a bit further up....somewhere between mercy and forgiveness. And since then I have visited both these places repeatedly. And i think i finally made good........I have been shown mercy and therefore i will show you mercy. But i have also been forgiven and therefore who am i to stand in judgement of what you did?

But yesterday you phoned. The first time in months. I have to admit that I had my doubts. The impulse to just tell you I was busy and would be unable to accommodate you in my busy schedule loomed......but i closed my eyes and pressed on. Invited you for not only the coffee you had requested but for a meal too.

You came to me humbled by you experiences in the last couple of months. An apology readily on your lips but also in your heart. My friend, I applaud you for your step! you have saved our friendship and made me believe that there might be hope for us humans after all. What the future holds for the two of us i do not know. We might never again be as close as we used to be. We may never be able to repair the damage done. But we have something......we have hope:-)

I sincerely hope that the courage you have shown will help ease your troubled mind and educate your searching soul.

Your friend

Ruby

Dear superhottie at the stop street

Thank you so much for brightening up my day with your radiant smile and bedroom eyes. it was a tad embarrassing and I feel stupid to admit that at that time of the morning I'm just not quite awake yet and do silly things....but at least my stupidity awarded me an excuse to stare at you for just a second longer.

It's amazing how some one's face just lights up when smile's at them....even if the other person did something really stupid. I'm sure that you are under the impression that the reason i did not cross the stop street when it was my turn was because i was staring at you.....well, this is not entirely true.

I am not a morning person...as in not at all. I'm usually just awake enough to not drive like a complete idiot, distinguish red from green and avoid colliding into other cars......that's it! give me anything more and you'll find me completely confused, at least until about half past 8.

So this morning i approached the stop street same as every morning. I watched you approach your stop to my left....and for some odd reason, somewhere in my mind, i had this stupid notion that it was a two way stop, and you had no need to stop and should just carry on going.

But being the gorgeous law abiding citizen that you are......you stopped! My mind hit a blank and Ruby was confused, as in totally. This of course caused me to sorta stare at you....see!!! i didn't stare at you because you were super hot.....i stared at you because you confused me:-p

The confusion did however only last for about 2 seconds. The moment i burst out laughing at my own stupidity, you flashed me that traffic stopping smile, waved and and waited for me to cross, hooting just to remind me to enjoy my day..............you sir, made my day:-)

So dear Mister Superhottie at the stop street.....this letter is actually a thank you note. Thank you for smiling at the half asleep hot girl, and thank you for still being a gentleman.

Regards

Ruby

Dear Blogger

So today I have finally taken the step and opened a blogger account. I am so incredibly proud of myself for finally doing something that i've been threatening to do for a while.

I have to admit though that the experience was not quite as easy and enjoyable as i once thought. I was expecting the editing of my template to be quick easy and straight forward, but for some odd reason all the editing i did is not shown on my blog, and quite frankly i find that irretating. I have checked and rechecked my my font settings and they are shown as I have made them, but the moment i open my blog it still shows the standard blogger black template.

But lets not spend my entire first letter complaining about something I can not change, for the time being anyway. I'm sure between the two of us we'll be able to work something out. And since it does not mean the end of the world I will not break my pretty little head about it.

I would however like to thank you for welcoming me with open arms into your quite large but closeknit family, which seems to grow each day. I hope that we'll be spending plenty of time together in the months to come, and that on some level the people who are meant to read these letters will find them.

Yours respectfully

Ruby