Letters.....

Dear Blogger

2011-01-17T01:15:00.000-08:00

It is with a touch of sadness that I write this letter today, although I have to admit the overall feeling is one of excitement and happiness. You see, I'm writing this letter to say goodbye. No longer will I be logging into blogger to write my little letters to the world.

I've finally grown up and have decided to launch my own domain *big fat grin*. I've been with you a good 3 years, but it was time to take my relationship with blogging to the next level and sadly i think I've outgrown blogger. We've had a good run you and I, and I shall miss you dearly. I won't be deleting this site, for the time being anyway...but my re-invented blog (my very OWN domain) can be found here. So if you wish to continue reading my little letters to the world please be sure to visit www.rubyletters.com.

Lots of love, fond wishes and farewells
Ruby
xxxxxx

Dear readers

2011-01-11T01:04:00.000-08:00

So i haven't done of these in a little while:) It works like this....i start a couple of random sentences and then complete them on my blog, then you complete the same sentences in the comment section of this here blog:)

Today.....I am feeling a little bit sad as my brother and sister in law will be flying back to the states tonight. Reality hit this morning when i realised it is the last time I'd be saying 'good morning' to him in person for probably another 2 years or so.

I am.....feeling slightly stressed about this whole finding a job before the end of February thing....it's nerve wrecking, i won't lie.

There are times....when i think that maybe i am TOO understanding of people's situations and TOO logical. Maybe people take advantage of me and walk all over me without realising it because i tend to be the person who will more than likely completely understand why you did something and will therefore NOT throw a temper tantrum about it, accept it and move on. Maybe i need to stand up for myself a little bit more.

I've realised......that what i want is not necessarily always what is best for me.

The cutest thing.....I've heard in a long time is a snippet of conversation between my brother and my sister in law last night. We went to Moyo to early celebrate my brother's birthday. The Americans loved it and we let them have the whole African experience with the hand washing and the painting of the faces. Now bear in mind...my sister in law is a full blooded American, but has slowly but surely been teaching herself Afrikaans for the sake of my brother. So after the lady with the paint finished the cute little flower on my sister in laws face my brother goes: 'jy lyk mooi'. She smiled sweetly and answered in the most adorable accent: 'dankie liefie, jy lyk ook mooi'. My brother then replied with: 'is dit as gevolg van die paintjob?'. She grinned and blurted out a quick 'yup' before they both collapsed in giggles. It was just really cute and sweet to watch and hear and totally made me smile:)

Now my lovelies...go be nice and play along:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear 2011

2011-01-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

I've never been big on the whole new year's resolutions thing. A friend of mine's brother recently hit the nail on the head when he tweeted : “I don’t understand people and their new years resolutions… why wait for a new year to better yourself? that’s just foolish and lazy.”

I really don't believe in making big life changing decisions at the turn of the year. It's silly, in my honest opinion, and if you are quite honest with yourself you will see that in most cases you end up breaking your new year's resolution. Why? There are a million possible answers to the question...my favourite probably includes the fact that you weren't ready to commit and do what had to be done and therefor not ready for the decision when you made it.

So while my dear 2011 post will not include any new year's resolutions I will share with you a few things that this year will bring, or rather that i hope this year will bring.

A new job by the end of Feb. I really want to move out of my current field into the more specialised field that i did my masters degree in, namely Forensic Accounting/auditing. I've decided to be bold and courageous and to cast my net really wide. My search will therefore not be limited to joburg, or Cape Town or SA even. See what i mean with casting my net wide? Ideally i need to find something by the end of February...so hold thumbs and say prayers OK? And 2011 you better be playing nice!
I've decided to give myself the year off...academically speaking. The 2 years working on the masters degree was a nightmare, and at the same time i loved it, because it was exactly what i wanted to be doing. Will i be doing a PhD? maybe....but I'm definitely giving myself a year to settle into place and take a breather...it's needed:)
I hope that 2011 will bring lots of personal growth, growth in my spiritual relationship and growth in my friendships. Getting to know the ones you hold closest and dearest even better is something i wouldn't sacrifice for all the money in the world:)
If all goes according to plan I'll be touring through Europe with my best friend and a couple of others in either September or October....*looks at 2011 threateningly* you BETTER make sure that happens!
Since my hand is healing swiftly i plan on getting back into my exercise routine as soon as possible. No, this is not the typical new year's resolution of "i need to lose weight, i will gym". I am generally pretty good about doing exercise and i try to look after myself as much as possible, but with the recent spurt of bad luck with my body I haven't been near any form of exercise (except for climbing the mountain the other day) in weeks and i plan to get back into it as soon as my hand allows for it.
I really want to work towards being a better person. This is also not a new year's resolution. It's a life motto...but i hope to continue doing so during this year.
And there is a little part of me that's kind of hoping that 2011 will be the year of prince charming. It's not that I'm looking and it's not that I'm lonely and it's not that I'm desperately wanting someone. BUT it would be awesome if he would decide to finally come this way during 2011. I mean, considering that i won't be studying this year I'd actually have all the time in the world for this:P On a more serious note.....I guess at the end of the day all of us sometimes want that someone to share our lives with. Will that happen in 2011? I don't know..maybe. All i know is that whether he comes along or whether he waits another year or couple of years...i will continue being who I am and standing for what I believe in. If i meet him, i great, if i don't...then well that's great too. Because I've learned that if you can't be complete and if you don't believe that you're good enough as an individual without someone, you will NEVER be complete and good enough with someone.

Well...2011, i hope you play along nicely this year and follow my instructions to the tee. If you don't I guess I'll have to cross that bridge when i come to it. In the meantime I'm just going to sit here and believe that you will play along...cause that's just the kind of person I am.

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear 2010

2010-12-31T08:12:00.000-08:00

My my my...what a year this has been. Full of ups and downs, happies and sads....an all round good but tough year:) I've decided to end my year saying: 'I'm tracing the outlines of 2010 and liking the picture I see'.

I've decided to dedicate this post to everything that happened this year and all the lessons I learned, both good and bad...as all these things played a roll in who I am today:)

2010 will be etched into my memory for the following reasons:

I started my year off with a bang by visiting the gorgeous Victoria falls...such an amazing experience.
I got my iPhone!
two other gorgeous friends had their babies.....we welcomed babyice and Faith into the world
A really good friend that lived on the same property as me committed suicide at our home. He hanged himself, i saw him....it was a traumatic and really sad experience, that i pray i never have to relive EVER again. I was fortunate to have special people in my life who really stood by me and supported me. Some people would simply stay awake with me through the night because i couldn't sleep. Thank you.

I met the American boy (he was the brother of the friend who committed suicide...odd that we would meet under such strange circumstances and click immediately). Paul always said we'd hit it off:)

I learned that I'm easily disappointed in myself for doing/thinking/saying things or for not doing/thinking/saying them when i should have. I give myself a really hard time afterwards. But then I work really hard to fix where i messed up. I'm not entirely sure if i should tell myself to cut myself some slack or to just stay the same I'm now. Both have pros and cons

I moved into my new home!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it! The area is fantastic, the apartment is perfect for me and it's only a 15min drive from work on the worst possible traffic days:)

I met my heart.........

I learned that just because someone promised you forever does not mean they will keep that promise

My good friend Superolz introduced me to Vida Coffee....I'm addicted:/

I found that it is possible to instantly connect with someone

Friends are found in the most amazing places....sometimes at a random braai at a house of a person you don't even know while gate crashing parties

Falling in love is both an amazing and a really scary experience. It is however mostly good and definitely advisable:)

During the move i discovered a whole bunch of shoes i had completely forgotten about. Can somebody say HappyRuby?

The female slave finally resigned and moved away. I can not begin to tell you how happy this made me. She made my life a misery for years.

We attended #AnGlugWedding:) My two gorgeous friends finally got married....it was definitely a wonderful wedding:)

I gave myself a pretty impressive blue eye....don't ask:/

I spent my birthday sick as a dog in bed...but did end the week with an awesome birthday party at least

A dear friend who has been a mentor and a great source of wisdom through a large part of my life was told he had an exceptionally large tumor on his brain. I was shattered, however I'm happy to report now that after extensive surgery and a long recuperation period he is doing quite well.

My trust issues were fuelled by a certain someone.

Soccer World Cup was held in SA....amazing amazing time....I'd like to bring 'Phillip' back if i can:P

GirlGuides was launched and i was one of the lucky girls who was asked to write gadget reviews for them:)

I was the victim of quite a serious roadrage incident

I had a fair amount of disagreements with the little bossman at work. For the first time in the 6 years i have worked with the company i wasn't 100% happy...i didn't like this feeling. But I'm happy to report that the situation has greatly improved.

I won an iPad from Afrihost!!!!!! *super big grin*

Having vicious rumors spread about you is not a pleasant experience

Some people ALWAYS have to be right. They will NEVER admit that they are wrong, and will rather write off a friendship than admit that they made a mistake.

I discovered that there are more than a fair share of well known auditing firms in the country who don't even remotely adhere to the various standards they are supposed to be complying with...this really really really gets my blood boiling

I had a VERY memorable trip to Cape town as a mini break:)

Some people have a set of rather impressive double standards....i can't stand this practice.

I started teaching myself to speak German...this is still very much an ongoing project that will keep me busy now that i don't have a masters degree keeping me occupied:)

I went through a period of suspecting that my landlord was sneaking into my apartment while i wasn't at home. It was silly and stupid and started because he has a set of keys for the house and because i couldn't find clothes that i was looking for:)

We attended the Girls Only media launch...a business started by a lovely friend of mine:)

#TheKernel was born:) And even though i have never met TheCaz in person there is no one I can think of that is more deserving of this incredible bundle of joy. After everything she's been through i'm defnitely celebrating the birth of this little miracle in my 2010 memories blog:)

I launched my own little Ruby's secret project:) It kicked off with a bang and i want to encourage everyone to keep sending me their secrets:)

I was attacked by an evil squirrel

I got to watch Mama Mia

My gran became incredibly sick and was hospitalised for 2 weeks. All of us, including all the various doctors were convinced she only had days left to live. She on the other hand had a completely different opinion about the whole thing. She was discharged and went back home accompanied by an oxygen machine which she has to use for a couple of hours each day. We saw her now over Christmas and she is still as naughty and mischievous as ever. She's gotten old though, and this makes me really sad. She's not just my gran, she's my friend and the very thought of losing her makes me feel broken inside. I'm grateful for each extra day i get to spend with her.

We went to see Grease

I won a gorgeous clutch bag and brooch from Miss Molly's Fashion on Being Brazen's blog *another super big grin*

Claude and Minnette got married...was an absolutely stunning wedding.

I had a pretty impressive fall at Metro Lounge while attending a friends birthday. I had a huge bruise for weeks and my knee was swollen twice it's normal size for quite a while.

An old housemate and friend got engaged:)

We had our 10 year matric reunion *eeeek* which i had to organize....it was quite a lot of fun:)

I got my MASTERS DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does happy dance* after 2 years of blood, sweat, tears, no sleep and about a million sacrifices i finally made it. My happiness knows no bounds:)

I had an operation on my hand to remove a growth that's been causing me all kinds of hassles. As it turns out the operation was way more invasive than originally planned and the recuperation and healing is taking a lot longer than anticipated. It is almost 4 weeks ago and i still can't do a large amount of things with my right hand. But the specialist assures me that the operation was a success and in time i will regain full use of my hand.

I had an 'in chair operation' done on my mouth. While grinding on my teeth in my sleep i managed to get a shard of tooth stuck in my jaw bone. They had to dislocate the jaw and cut out quite a large piece of my jawbone in order to get rid of the shard. This resulted in bone grafts and a titanium implant. All in all an extremely painful experience.

I got to spend Christmas with my gran:)

Wall-E got engaged!

My brother and sister in law came to visit from the states:) They are in fact still here and will be here for another 10 days:)

My sister in law gave me a handmade quilt as a Christmas gift this year. What an awesome and touching gift:)

My house was hit by lightening...twice.

Cobus and Lizette got married...she was one of the most beautiful brides I have EVER seen.

Spiritually this was definitely a year of grace. It was a year of many searches. I questioned many many things about what i believe and why. And even after all of that there was just no way that I could deny the existence of my powerful, all loving, all knowing and merciful God. His grace is truly enough, and He had grace to allow me to question and search without letting me go. My beliefs are based on what I have experienced and does not come from what I have been taught or told. He is real and He loves me. I realise that not all of you reading this will agree or understand this. But He is real to me and therefore makes out a very important part of my memorable moments of 2010.

I'm sitting here on the last day of 2010. Happy and content. My heart is full. I get to spend it with my family. There are only 3 people missing to make this little picture a 100% perfect...but at the moment it's damn near perfect:)

I was saying this morning that even thought this year has rushed past at a ridiculous speed, January feels a million years ago. Such a ridiculous contrast and yet so true. It's been a really tough year. I've had to cope with disappointment and hurt and about a million other challenges, but i survived and for that reason alone it was a good year. Don't get me wrong, there were many good and even incredible things that happened this year, but i can honestly say that I experienced the past year as incredibly tough.I hope that 2011 will be a better one. Filled with challenges and new things and blessing and lessons to learn. If all goes well I'll do a little dear 2011 post, and while I don't plan on having new years' resolutions i hope to make make myself aware of what i expect of the new year.So my lovelies....Happy new year! I hope that 2010 has given you the chance to grow and that 2011 will be filled with many blessing, lots of love, friendship and happiness and that in a years' time we will all be saying "I survived 2011".Much loveRubyxxxxxxP.S I've added a few pictures of various moments in 2010. Enjoy!

Ruby's secrets

2010-12-14T23:39:00.000-08:00

It's finally here!!! The second monthly post for Ruby's secret. Thank you so much to everyone who sent in secrets...and I'd like to encourage you to keep sending the secrets to Rubyletters@gmail.com with the subject line 'Ruby's Secrets'.

After much consideration i decided to post a handful of secrets per blog post. So, for those of you that e-mailed a secret but don't see it on this post...keep your eyes open in the next one:


I'm not cynical about love


Dawson's creek lover:)


in love with a lesbian


Whose the biggest fool?


Be mine:)


I sent this secret into Post Secret and it was published on October 18, 2009. No one I know would ever think I do such a thing. BTW, my stash is in my car. I have about a dozen pair


walk with me


I think you're an idiot

Well my lovelies...hope you enjoyed these:) And remember to keep them coming.

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear life

2010-12-14T03:54:00.000-08:00

I would appreciate it if you could cut me some slack right about now *pulls face*.

OK, so it's not ALL bad. In fact, there are one or two super awesome things that have happened of late too. So, let me start with the first and the biggest and the bestest thing. I passed my MASTERS degree:) Can we get a whoop whoop? I realise that to some it might seem that I'm making a really big deal out of this, and they might not understand. But to me this is a big deal. It's been 2 years of blood, sweat and tears and about a million sacrifices. Late nights, no sleep, high stress level and millions of hours of research later and here i stand...i finally made it:) I was so relieved i felt like crying:) So allow me to say...yay me! and do a little happy dance and come celebrate with me if you want.

Last week Friday...or rather, the Friday before that....i finally relented and paid a visit to the hospital with regards to the growth in my hand. The fact that it had been swollen and incredibly painful for days and that the growth had become remarkably bigger was really stressing me out. Once can't help but wonder if the original diagnoses saying it was a bone cyst was wrong. What if it wasn't something as innocent as all that. What if it's a tumor? So i spent a stressful day at the hospital being sent back and forth between the x-ray department, the specialist the ultrasound people and the doctor.

The specialist was furious. The original diagnoses had been wrong. It wasn't a cyst at all. It's an abnormal growth on the bone, causing lots and lots of damage and which would in time render my right hand absolutely useless. It had to be removed immediately. I was booked in for an operation on Tuesday. Panic stations! The specialist assured me that the chances of it being malignant was incredibly small, but they will test it anyway, just to double check.

So on Tuesday morning I was taken to hospital by my awesome friend. His strength and support and calmness helped more than he could know. I was on the verge of tears...since the accident i really don't deal well with hospitals. Thankfully the operation went off without a hitch and i was cleared for discharge on Tuesday afternoon. At least i could go and recuperate at home...score!

It's been a painful and frustrating couple of days. Having your dominant hand rendered useless and in a lot of pain while living alone is NOT for the feint hearted. My hand was so swollen that moving it became impossible and my knuckles couldn't be distinguished from the sausages that were my fingers. Thankfully most of the swelling is now gone:) I was perfectly miserable and whiny for a couple of days...I'm sure the entire twitter can vouch for that. But my hand is improving every day and I'll be back to see the specialist in a week's time. I've included a couple of pics of the progress:)

But now, the reason for my whiny letter to life, requesting a break is this. I have the annoying habit of grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw in my sleep when I'm stressed. Obviously the operation has been quite stressful for me, so I've been doing quite a bit of biting in my sleep. On Saturday evening i woke up in excruciating pain in my lower right jaw. Not only had I managed to rebreak a tooth i had broken years ago, but i also managed to lodge a piece of broken root in my jaw. *shudder*

By Sunday morning the whole right side of my face was swollen, nothing was helping for the intense pain and nowhere in JHB could i locate an emergency dentist. Between my hand and my mouth i eventually collapsed in a pathetic little heap of tears and took myself off to casualties to get something for the pain.

Monday was my first day back at work...i won't lie...it was painful. But my hand is coming along nicely and this made me smile. My mouth however was a completely different story. The dentist is unable to help me until we can get the swelling down. He did however take an X-ray and was horrified at the way that the root had broken off inside the gum and managed to lodge itself in the jaw. He's prescribed super strong painkillers and anti-biotics...i hope they start working ASAP...can't really handle much more of this. This also means that my as yet untainted mouth (no cavities, no fillings, nothing) will no contain remain untainted:/ I'll be going in on Thursday (he's kind enough to help me on the public holiday) to have an implant done. Bye bye Christmas bonus...as my medical aid will not be covering this rather expensive procedure.

Now can you see where I'm coming from begging for a break? What i have learned in the last two weeks is that when it rains it definitely always pours....this applies to both the good and the bad in life. The trick is not to drown but to learn to dance in the rain.

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Claudz

2010-12-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

So madam, you tagged me in you 'i love you blog' post. The only decent thing to do is to comply and to address this here little letter to you:) So here goes nothing....

1. Why did you create your blog?

I used to have a blog on myspace.....ages and ages ago when i first moved to Jozi. The blog was however discovered by people who didn't like what i was writing and to keep the peace my little blog was abandoned. However, my love of writing wouldn't hide and after a view brief months of not blogging i finally started Ruby Letters. It's therapy for me, it gives me a voice:)

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?

I read mostly life blogs. And then there are a couple of people who blog about other things like fashion and awesome furniture ideas and funky Friday quotes which i enjoy:)

3. Favourite make-up brands

I have a very sensitive skin and don't wear much make up. Mascara wise i only ever wear Maybeline as it doesn't irritate my eyes. Make up wise i flutter between Annique and Mac.

4. Favourite clothing brands

hmmm....I'm not a big fan of branded clothing. I guess the only 2 brands i really buy would be Sissy Boy and Levi. And the levis i ONLY buy when my brother comes to visit from the states and it's cheap. I have to confess that I own a Polo dress...but it was bought for a function. My absolute favourite clothing shop is YDE...no contest!

5. Your indispensable make-up product?

Erm....i don't have one *shakes head*

6. Your favourite colour

I love black...then again..that's not really a colour:/ Olive green, orange and red wine red:)

7. Your perfume?

I have 3 that i love. My most favourite is Lacoste Touch of Pink...also love Black XS by Poco Rabonne and Guilty by Gucci.

8. Your favourite film?

So difficult:( I'll just list a couple i think:

- my life as a house

- a beautiful mind

- forest gump

- Amalie

- Spanglish

- Moulin Rouge

- Chicago

- Save the last dance

Actually....most dance movies is an instant hit in my books:)

9. What country would you like to visit and why?

ooooh....so many! Germany, Spain, France, Iceland.......etc

10. Write the last question and answer it yourself: What is the answer to life?

42, without a doubt!

Love

Ruby

xxxxx

Dear Ruby

2010-11-26T03:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you can be such a silly girl! I started this post as my standard 'dear readers' post, but then i realised that i already did one of those this week...and i don't really want to bore my readers. So instead I've decided to write myself a little note and a bit of a reprimand for being silly.

Today I'm having an insecure day *sigh*. To be honest...i can't complain. I don't have these often. But today is just one of those days where i feel insecure. And the fact that i KNOW it is both stupid and unreasonable just makes me feel irritated with myself.

I've taken the 'If i can't see it, it can't see me' approach...which pretty much means I'm ignoring my stupidity and living the day as if it doesn't exist....the problem with this approach is that it isn't a very successful one. The insecurity is still there...glaring at me...pfffffft!

What exactly am i insecure about? I don't know. I'm just feeling generally unsure of myself. Maybe it relates to the harsh realisation I had this morning when i woke up. My life is about to undergo a very big change in the next 4 months or so. I plan on moving jobs. Where will I work? Will I stay in JHB? Will other things in my life work out the way i want them to? Then there is also my sometimes cynical and 'conspiracy theory based' outlook on life. What if everything blows up in my face? What if none of this is real? So many what if, and where's and when's and what's. It's left my head spinning just a bit and most probably led to my bout of insecurity with regards to EVERYTHING today.

So, my dear and darling Ruby. Snap out of it! And with that I mean right now! The future is looking bright and exciting. And yes, i realise that you don't know exactly what will be happening in the next couple of months...but this only means that the future is filled with endless possibility. Also, the whole world is NOT conspiring against you. The people who take time to listen, spend time, show you that they care and tell you this really DO care. They're not all about to turn on you and laugh at you for being silly enough to trust them, or for sharing your dreams with them. They wouldn't go out of their way just to hurt you....and if they do this is more the exception than the rule.

Funny thing is...I've had a really good day so far. I'm not feeling down or scared or unhappy or anything of the sort. I'm in a happy and silly mood....there is just this tiny little jackal of a feeling gnawing at my ankles and it is irritating me. Maybe just actually saying it out loud instead of ignoring it will give me power over it. In fact, I'm convinced of this.

I'm a very blessed little girl, and i plan on reminding myself of this all the time. I have a bright future ahead of me and a close circle of people around me that love me and care for me and only want the best for me:) Insecurities...pfffffft! what are those! *take THAT stupid irrational feeling*

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Update: writing this earlier and actually figuring out WHY i was being all stupid actually helped:) feeling MUCH better now:) Yay for the therapy writing brings:)

My dearest brother and sister-in-law

2010-11-25T04:32:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you have a truly awesome day and that your thanksgiving day feast is memorable....I'm also hoping you guys get to play loads of shuffle board today (if the weather permits):)

I figured since we can't be there to celebrate this day of thanksgiving with you I'd do a post with a list of things that I'm grateful for. So here goes:)

I'm thankful for:
........having people in my life to love and being loved in return.
........a family that truly has my back at all times.
........awesome friends:)
........my new home! I can't believe it took me 5 and a half years to move closer to work...My life has changed completely. Also, because the new home doesn't have damp problems I'm not sick all the time. Haven't had bronchitis or pneumonia since moving.
........the fact that my masters degree is now done and dusted. Now i just have to continue to wait until the results come out.
........having people in my life who really really care for me. Who would do anything for me.
........being so close to someone that you experience their presence even when they aren't with you.
........grace.
........a God who loves me.
........apple juice! you have no idea how much i adore apple juice:) I always have some in my fridge.
........my iPad and iPhone...yes, this sounds ridiculous and insanely superficial. It's OK...i can deal with that. They've made my life so much easier, efficient and entertaining.
........having a job and surviving. I've met too many people this year who really suffer financially. People who want to work and don't have jobs.
........second chances. None of us deserve them, but they are the most amazing things when given to someone who really wants to make a difference.
.........new opportunities and an exciting future.
.........good music:) It's the thing that keeps my soul alive.
.........certain things happening in certain parts of my life.
.........risks that were taken and the amazing returns because of it.

I think that the point I'm trying to make is that even when we go through tough times, and even when we are whiny and difficult and sad. Or when we're happy and excited about life....there is always a lot that we can give thanks for.

I love you, and I miss you both so very much! Can't wait for the little visit in just over a month.

Much love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Readers

2010-11-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

So it's time for one of my favourite regular blog entries:) I'll finish a couple of sentences and then you can finish them in my comments section.

I learned.....that there are instances in life when you experience such infinite happiness that your heart becomes so full it feels as if it might burst!

There comes a time....in life, relationships, friendships, work and all other segments of our lives when you need to realize you're flogging a dead horse.

Choosing to stop........ does not always constitute quitting.

Spending time with friends.......is good therapy.

Courage....is a choice.

Live.....passionately!

And off you go my lovelies...now you go and complete the sentences:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

P.S. Don't forget about my pet project....keep sending me those secrets!

Dear stranger in the night

2010-11-17T06:13:00.000-08:00

Last night I wasn't feeling all too well. Actually, I'm still not feeling too great. My throat and ears hurt and are swollen and i just feel tired and run down. More than anything i wanted to have a relatively early night (in my books that means getting to bed before midnight). So i took my meds and timed it right that i would be extremely sleepy no later than 11pm.

For once i fell asleep immediately! you have to understand...being an insomniac this rarely happens...even when taking medicine. Generally I don't switch my cell phone off at night. The reason for this is that I'm always petrified that there would be an emergency or something would happen and someone might need me and then I won't be available. So my phone is always on. Also, an sms notification doesn't wake me, a phone call however does. It's the perfect arrangement really.

Then last night at 12:45AM my phone started ringing....still being very much asleep i didn't even bother looking at who was calling, i just answered, my heart beating a mile a minute. I mean, why else would your phone ring at 12:45AM...something had to be wrong somewhere right? WRONG! It was you. The conversation that followed went something like this:
Sleepy Ruby : Hello?
Stranger : Hello. Eish....Who are you?
Slightly more awake Ruby : What?
Stranger : Who am i talking to?
Slightly annoyed Ruby : Why would you ask that? You called the number...who the hell are you and who are you looking for????
Stranger : eh...I'm looking for you
Highly annoyed ruby : Bulldust! a second ago you didn't even know who you were talking to. Listen here idiot....it's quarter to 1 in the MORNING! Who the hell calls people at that time? Stupid people...that's who! Screw you dude!
*Ruby puts down the phone and switches it to silent mode*

Then this morning when i recalled the incident I wasn't quite sure if i was dreaming or if it was real. So I checked my phone. Ohmigosh! 34 missed calls....34...I kid you NOT! From your number. For one of them you actually left a voice mail...livid because i had called you stupid and asking me who the hell i thought i was for saying you're stupid. Dude! 12:45 AM and 34 missed calls later to a person you don't even know...what the hell??

Needless to say I didn't sleep very well. Once i get awakened like that i really battle to fall asleep again, and even when i do it is broken and disturbed. I was NOT a happy ruby this morning.

Next time i suggest you block your number if you want to do something like this. I have your number, and I'm still contemplating putting it on twitter and begging all the world to give you random calls at all hours of the night. 34 missed calls *shakes head* I suppose it takes all sorts to make up the world.

Ruby

Dear Matrics of 2000

2010-11-16T12:13:00.000-08:00

So the big day finally arrived on Saturday...our 10 year reunion. The weeks building up to this event have been filled with excitement, annoyance, stress and eagerness for me and JG who were organizing the event. At first everyone was keen to attend, in fact they were mumbling and grumbling because up until the point of us organizing something nobody had even attempted to organize a reunion.

Then, as the RSVP deadline loomed closer everybody went dead quiet. I had to send about a million reminders. Then of course there were the people who only RSVP'd after the deadline, the ones who begged and pleaded with me to come even though they can only pay at a date after the actual reunion. Eventually I agreed to let the one girl and her date come even though she wouldn't be able to pay before the 19th. I would live to regret this decision. The budget was carefully planned for the people who were coming, we didn't have any spare money, but there was enough for everyone. Then this girl who didn't pay didn't pitch and now she's refusing to pay...even though i already spent the money on them. To say i was extremely ticked off would be an understatement.

Anyway, back to the more pleasant memories of the weekend. Not many people attended, but the ones that did really wanted to be there. We had so much fun, catching up, talking nonsense, laughing a mile a minute and sharing good food. I was pleasantly surprised to find that people do eventually grow up and change for the better and find that place where they are supposed to be. Seeing this in my old school friends really made me smile. It was a happy moment and a happy realisation.

My one friend brought her little girl along..she was too gorgeous and stole every body's hearts...including mine. She spent the largest part of the evening with me, playing games, eating with me and just sitting on my lap. If i ever have children i hope they are as chilled and easy going as that little girl!

Thank you for a wonderful day and a fun filled reunion...it was awesome to catch up with everyone.

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

P.S. I've attached a couple of random snapshots...sadly i didn't get pics of everyone who attended and obviously i couldn't post all the pics here....but here are a couple:)

P.P.S. Don't forget about my secret pet project! please remember to keep sending me your secrets!!!!

Ladies and gentleman, I present your entertainment for the evening:P Not really, but AH was definitely having a good night:)

Seriously...how adorable is this child??? This is not her dad BTW...it's JG, the old head boy

That would be me, paying attention to something that somebody was saying....or maybe just wondering what the hell they were on about.

*Snort* no comment!

These are the parents of the gorgeous little girl with number 2 on the way....i think he was trying to talk to his future son after having one too many

JG and his gorgeous wife:)

Mommy to be and our very own National angler.....yup, a girl that loves fishing..she actually has springbok colours.

My good friend Joe:) One of the few people i still have a lot of contact with.

Our resident trouble maker who seems to have calmed down quite a bit since becoming a daddy

She was pulling a face at the camera...so adorable:)

Joe and I....total posers

Mommmeeeee, I'm tired i wanna go hooooooome!

Dear old schoolfriend

2010-11-11T06:27:00.000-08:00

*sigh* I have no words...really. I've been increasingly annoyed with the fact that i had to organize the reunion...but today you managed to step on my very last nerve. To give you some background...the official reunion invite contained (very clearly in fact) the date, the time, the venue, the costs involved.

Then today i get a call from you.....the conversation went as follows:

Old Schoolfriend(OS): Hey Ruby! How are you?
Ruby: Oh hi Old Schoolfriend...I'm all good thanks, how's you?
OS: I'm good...looking forward to Saturday and stuff.
Ruby: Ja, me too...It's going to be really cool to see everyone again.
OS: About the reunion, I'd just like to check one or two things with you.
Ruby: Oh sure, no problem. What's up? (Please note...here my courage fails me...I've had a whole range of stupid questions the last couple of weeks...i was expecting another)
OS: I've got the invite open on the computer and I just wanted to know if any of the arrangements changed?
Ruby: Nope, everything stays exactly the same where arrangements are concerned. The only thing that changed is the food...but you don't have to worry about it.
OS: OK cool...so I'm wondering...what time is the reunion?
Ruby: *thinks....WHAT THE HELL...you're looking at the invite* Do you have the invite in front of you?
OS: Yes
Ruby: What does it say?
OS: It says it's three o'clock
Ruby: so which part of 'none of the arrangements have changed' didn't you understand?
OS: So what are you telling me...it's not at 3?
Ruby: *sighing audibly* it's at 3.

Now do you understand why I'm convinced all the stupid people in the world are ganging up on me this week?

Ruby
xxxx

Dear Miss Molly

2010-11-05T05:18:00.000-07:00

So a while ago i won a competition on Being Brazen's blog. The prize was a beautiful clutch bag and a brooch from you.

Well, they finally came!!! *super excited* Can i just say...you packaged it so beautifully i was almost sad to unwrap it:) Thank you so much once again Miss Molly and Being Brazen!!!!


How absolutely gorgeous is this packaging??


Gorgeous!!!!!!

Thanx ladies:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Ruby's secrets

2010-11-04T02:59:00.000-07:00

It's finally here!!! The first monthly post for Ruby's secret. Thank you so much to everyone who sent in secrets...and I'd like to encourage you to keep sending the secrets to Rubyletters@gmail.com with the subject line 'Ruby's Secrets'.

After much consideration i decided to post 9 secrets per blog post. So, for those of you that e-mailed a secret but don't see it on this post...keep your eyes open in the next one:)


Flowers for no reason


Cheating


I wish I could tell the world

I'm getting married:)

You're the reason i stopped dancing
(Personally i find this one incredibly sad....you all know my views and love of dancing)


Virgin girl

Wondering....

Most beautiful woman in the world

Take the risk....I'm worth it

So my lovelies...there you have it..the first instalment of Ruby's secrets:) Keep them coming!

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

P.S. Credit for the original idea goes to PostSecret

Dear readers

2010-11-02T00:54:00.000-07:00

So it's time for one of my favourite regular blog entries:) I'll finish a couple of sentences and then you can finish them in my comments section.

People....will believe what they want to believe and no matter what you say you won't be able to convince them otherwise

It's better to....sort issues out directly....hashing, rehashing and indirect methods are bound to end in bigger issues

Sometimes....spending a Sunday morning in the sun having a picnic with people who make you laugh is worth offering up some study time. I was way more productive afterwards anyway:)

Exercise.....is not always fun but it's an amazing way to clear your head

Currently listening to.......The Inside...by Def Leppard

I've learned.......that being patient is the best way to deal with a lot of things

There are times....when all you need to soothe your soul is good company

Now off you go my lovelies. Your turn:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

P.S. Don't forget about my little pet project. Please send me your secrets:)

Dear Employer

2010-11-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'd like THIS job please:) I assure you I'm fully qualified...I'm female and i genuinely adore chocolate. Please hire my...I'll be the bestest estest employee EVER!

Regards
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Ghost of weekend past

2010-11-01T04:59:00.000-07:00

I feel like going....wow! what an action packed weekend...but actually it wasn't, and to be honest, it's one of the best weekends I've had in a long time:)

As most of you know by now i wrote my final big exam for my masters on Friday morning. To say that i was stressed would be a complete and utter understatement. I don't think I've ever been this nervous and stressed before an exam. It's what I've been working towards for 2 years...it's scary. The fact that i learnt last week that they were having issues with assignments i had submitted which they insist they didn't get and were therefore giving me zero did NOT help my stress levels. The admin lady phoning me on Friday morning and telling me she doesn't think they'll be able to help me sent stress levels into overdrive. But being level headed me i figured I'd worry about that after the exam....first things first. Exam, then stress about the missing assignments.

I can't actually tell you if it went well or not. It's all interpretive and argumentative and there is no black or white answer to the questions...so I'll have to wait and see how it goes. Let's just say i didn't feel like committing suicide by the time i was done...that's a good start right? Friday night was spent having a celebration dinner a very good friend. It was finally over....2 years of working myself half to death was finally over, regardless of what the results look like....definitely something worth celebrating:)

Saturday morning i woke up with a start at 7:20am...*sigh* i better get up and study. And then it hit me...i didn't have to. I had nothing i HAD to do. I'm actually going to have a life again. After 2 years this is definitely a life change. I decided to spend the morning lying around and reading...something i haven't been able to do in a very long time. Saturday afternoon was spent with the GirlGuides crew at Moyo Zoolake ...much fun was had:) I expected to spend the evening quietly at home, but ended up going for a charming dinner at the Attic with a friend....surprise surprise...turns out that's exactly what i needed:)

Sunday was a super lazy and super awesome day. Lunch with the replacements followed by an unexpected and content afternoon strolling around the mall with awesome company. Right now I'd like to mention that life can be pretty sweet sometimes:)

So, ghost of weekend past, please pay attention and ensure that i have plenty more of these weekends in the near future:) Also, can everybody please hold thumbs that it went really well with my exams:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear residents of 119

2010-10-26T03:09:00.000-07:00

Right...I get it. You're all young, you like to have fun and to party it up. So am I. But there are limits. You do NOT throw a huge ass party at your apartment in a complex on a MONDAY night that lasts until 5:30 in the morning. You do NOT throw open all your doors and windows and make as much noise as you possibly can.

You are selfish and rude and I've decided i don't like you at all. By 3am this morning i was close to tears. I'm studying for one of the biggest exams I'll ever write and last night i got hardly any sleep because of your party. Now, if it had been a Friday or a Saturday night i would have been way more understanding...it's weekend after all.

Please believe me when i say that if you decide to pull the same trick EVER again i will not think twice about calling the police, and as it is i shall be handing an official complaint to the body corporate.

Regards
GrumpyRuby

Dear Being Brazen

2010-10-20T03:51:00.000-07:00

I won! I won! I won! *does excited little dance*. Thank you so much to BeingBrazen and the competition she recently ran on her blog with the help of Miss Molly.

In the very near future you'll see me prancing around with this gorgeous clutch bag and brooch...can anyone say #SexyRuby?

I'm one of those people who NEVER win competitions, yet lately I've been blessed with so many awesome things. First the iPad and the data from Afrihost and now these two visions of gorgeousness. I'm incredibly grateful:)

Much Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Ruby's secrets

2010-10-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

So I've been toying with the idea of starting a little monthly project on my blog. It's not a new concept and I'm perfectly willing to give all the credit to the original creator of the idea.

How would you guys feel about a monthly "Ruby's secrets" post...based on the concept of postsecrets ? It would be with a bit of a twist though. There isn't currently a local version of this as far as I know, and i apologize if there is and i haven't mentioned you here. I'm planning to run it via e-mail rather than via post though, in order to make my life a little easier. It's super easy to create an anonymous e-mail account if you need to, and of course i'm sworn to absolute secrecy on all secrets i receive. No names will ever leave my e-mail inbox.

For those of you who don't know the concept..it quite simply works like this. You design a postcard and write a secret on it. It can be anything! Mundane, happy, sad, exciting, depressing, important or unimportant, it doesn't matter. Then you e-mail the post card to me with the subject line 'Ruby's secret'. Once a month I'll take all the post cards and publish a few in the 'Ruby's secrets' blog post.

For the time being i'm merely testing the water to see if there is any interest in this more digital version of Post secret. So I can't guarantee that it'll actually take off, but i'm willing to give it a shot. Secrets can be mailed to: rubyletters@gmail.com

So what do you guys think...yay or nay?

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear readers

2010-10-11T04:14:00.000-07:00

Yep...it's that time again, where you guys get to play along on my blog:) I'll complete a few sentences and then you guys can complete it in the comments section:)

I am.....OK

Doing....something nice for a stranger can really lift your spirits

My dad....would be so proud...I changed a tyre all by myself yesterday

My white shorts.....are ruined thanks to the combination of a storm and the changing of the tyre

Family....plays a very important role in my life

I wish...so many things at the moment, but most of all I wish that my gran would get better. And if that's not the way it should be, then i really wish that she won't suffer.

Stressed...is how i feel at the moment. Stressed about my final exams for my masters at the end of the month, stressed about my gran...stressed stressed stressed.

Right! now off you go my lovelies...go and complete the sentences in the comments section.

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear landlord

2010-10-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

Let me start off with telling you that I absolutely LOVE the place. I feel at home and happy and complete there. It's ideally situated, safe and very much Rubylike:)

There is just one little thing that's bothering me at the moment. Let me start at the beginning. When we signed the lease agreement, you insisted on a clause allowing you to come for inspections. I was willing to allow this but only if the visits took place at a time that was convenient for me...as of course I'd never allow you an inspection if I was not at home. What I didn't realise at the time is that you have your own set of keys for the house.

Now granted, many people have told me this is quite normal. And I wasn't too disturbed by it as the complex security is very strict and if you don't have an access card the only way you can access the complex is by them calling a resident. But when you came for your little inspection visit last week you had a hissy fit because they wouldn't let you in without calling me first and then you insisted that I give you one of my access cards. Oh hell no! This is where I put my foot down. I'm the resident, I'm entitled to 2 access cards, if you want one, contact the maintenance people and find out if you're entitled to one.

But this has led to another problem for me. Why would you need an access card? Surely you don't have any business being here unless I'm at home and opening for you? Needless to say I'm feeling slightly paranoid. The fact that on monday morning I couldn't find a newly washed outfit that I KNOW I put into my cupboard on sunday afternoon did not help my paranoia. I turned my whole house upside down in the last 3 days trying to find it and finally gave up. Then yesterday when I was actually looking for something else I found it by accident. Now I suppose it's possible that i missed it. But I can't be sure, now can i? Also, this morning when I woke up my bedroom door was closed and there was a glass of water next to my bed. I never close my bedroom door, nor do I take water to my bedroom, unless I'm sick. To be honest....I do sleepwalk. So its possible that I closed the door and placed the water there....but I can't help feeling ever so slightly uncomfortable.

So, this coming weekend i'll be replacing the lock on my door. I'll leave the security gate as is, but the lock on the door can easily be changed. And then, when I move out i'll just put the original lock back in. You need never know. The only way you'll ever find out is if you try to enter my house without me being at home...which you're not allowed to do in the first place.

Please understand that i'm not actually acusing you of something. I like you. I get along with you superbly and i plan on keeping it that way. But I'm a girl who lives on her own. I don't know you well, and my first concern is keeping myself safe. And since i love the apartment so much, i'd hate to start feeling uncomfortable because of a stupid set of keys.

Regards
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Sussie

2010-10-06T00:53:00.000-07:00

Happy happy belated birthday sweetie!!!!!

Gosh, currently i feel like the worst Sister in law EVER! Can't believe that i completely forgot about your birthday *hangs head in shame*. So i realise that it is a couple of days late, and I'm so sorry if it made you feel unloved in any way.

But here's to wishing you the happiest of happy birthdays. I hope that you had an amazing day and that my brother spoiled you absolutely rotten. And my wish for you in the years to come includes lots of love and happiness and blessings. *big hugs*

I can't wait for you guys to come to South Africa at the end of the year, and this is my promise to make you feel extra special while you are here:)

Lots of love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Readers

2010-10-05T01:27:00.000-07:00

Yep...it's that time again, where you guys get to play along on my blog:) I'll complete a few sentences and then you guys can complete it in the comments section:)

Life......is not always like a box of chocolate...sorry Forrest, your mom and i don't agree.

Everything....have you ever considered the vastness of somebody telling you that you are their everything? It's overwhelming and awesome and i don't think anyone can truly comprehend exactly how much you mean for that person.

I love.....my parents...i really really do:) they do these awesome and unexpected things that just make me love them more and more each day.

Happiness....can be found in the small things around me

Laughter.....can change a lot of things, heal many things and lift your spirit.

Music....is where i find most of my inspiration in life. It's the big love of my life, keeps me sane and heals my heart repeatedly

Now it's your turn:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Cape town

2010-09-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for an amazing mini break! Many thanks to all the people that made every second of it incredible and fun and filled with memories that'll last a life time.

The mini break started on Wednesday afternoon when i was dropped off at Lanseria airport after work. Sadly my flight was delayed, but my iPad *grin*, the sandwich and the cider from the little coffee shop kept me more than entertained while i waited. The flight was uneventful, for which I'm grateful, as I realised just before boarding that it would be the first time ever that i was flying alone without any company.

Thursday morning was spent with my good friend Superolz who recently moved to CT from Jozi. We stopped for coffee at Blouberg and then headed off towards Stellenbosch for some wine tasting. We went to Waterford wine estate where we did the whole chocolate and wine experience. It was my first time there and i must say the chocolate and the wine were absolutely divine! After relaxing at Waterford we dashed off to Thelema wine estate for another quick tasting as we didn't have much time left before i had to meet up with another friend.

Thursday afternoon was spent wandering around the Company Gardens and visiting the museum. The gardens are absolutely gorgeous, even though i was attacked by an evil squirrel. The squirrels in the Company Gardens are incredibly tame and they come right up to you if you hold your hand out to them. When the squirrel however realised that i didn't actually have any food for it, it ran after me and actually jumped onto my leg and tried to climb up...i managed to get it off quickly, thank goodness. oh and for the record....this happened TWICE!

A large part of the afternoon was spent wandering around the V&A Waterfront with my good friend Maniac. Then it was time for Strawberry daiquiris at the Ambassador hotel to watch the sunset followed by dinner at HQ. I do believe this is one of the most amazing restaurants EVER! Their menu reads as follows: Salad, steak and chips. They serve salad for a starter and steak and chips....that's it. Best steak I've had in a VERY long time:)

Friday was spent with my friends Maniac, Flipside and Suekie doing one of those Hop-On-Hop-Off city bus tours. We had so much fun, even though the boys both got sun burnt. We spent quite a bit of time exploring the fort, I mean castle and later on had the most divine lunch at Blues in Campsbay. Then it was time to head off to the tweetup, aptly named #RubyComesToCapeTown, where i finally had the opportunity to meet some of my online friends face to face and to see some old friends once again. In attendance was Riven, AniB, Alice, Ann, MajorProblem, Pinkhairgirl, Craig, Flipside, Suekie, Superolz, Maniac and of course Me:) We went to Wakame, which i have to say has the most divine sushi!

Saturday morning i was up early as I was super excited to be spending the morning with my cousin. The oldest of the 3 children that form part of the replacement family, she moved to Cape Town in December of last year. And i haven't seen her in a very long time. Maniac decided to join us on our adventure as he didn't have any plans. Being the awesome friend that he is, he stopped by Vida on the way so i could get my Vida fix to start the day...*does happy dance*.

After picking my cousin up we headed out to Kirstenbosch, where we spent an enjoyable morning having wine with cheese and crackers...now THAT's what i call the breakfast of royalty:) Kirstenbosch is absolutely gorgeous, and it's a pity we didn't have more time to wander around.

The afternoon was spent wine tasting with Maniac and his friend Attie. Attie, being the local took us to Lourensford first. Then we headed off towards Vergelegen. After a memorable stroll through the gardens and having quite a bit of wine he sneaked us up to the Vergelegen wine cellars. I only have one word to describe this place.....wow! The view was absolutely breathtaking.

On Sunday morning I woke up to an overcast sky and rain. It seems that Cape Town was sad to see me go *wishful thinking*. Since the flight back home was only in the afternoon we took a drive out to Houtbay and decided to try our luck doing the Chapman's peak drive. Even though it was misty and rainy and cloudy it was incredibly beautiful. If it weren't for the fact that we were meeting Inky, Kambabe, Flipside and the squidlets for coffee and cake in Houtbay i doubt i would have been able to tear myself away from that awesome view.

So here i am back in Jozi daydreaming about my mini break, my friends and the memories I made. I'll see you again real soon Cape Town.

Love
Ruby
xxxxxx

Dear Drunk Driver

2010-09-27T01:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight at 10 minutes to midnight it will be exactly 5 years since that fateful night. 5 years....wow...I can't believe it. At times it feel like it couldn't be that long...at other times i could swear the accident happened a lifetime ago.

I don't know where you are in life, and I'm grateful that I don't have any contact with you. But sometimes i wonder if you ever think about that night. If you ever even realised how much damage you caused. Have you ever thought about it and wanted to apologize for it? As I'm sitting here writing this I realise that you never did. Not even once. You never apologized. Not for the act and not for the consequences. But I've forgiven you regardless. I refuse to spend my life bearing a grudge, I'll be the only one suffering if i did.

Sometimes i can't help but wonder how different my life would have been. And then my mind starts wandering towards the what ifs and the whys and the why Me's. But then i start looking at my life now. Yes, at the time i was convinced you had ruined my life. Being practically bedridden for two months was no joke. The constant headaches that I'll probably have for the rest of my life, my metal ankle, the scars, the fact that my wrist isn't nearly as strong as it used to be, nightmares and a court case that went on forever those were and still are tough.

But i look at my life now and i realise that i have so many blessings in the form of people, things, realisations and relationships. And then i wonder how much of this i would have missed if I hadn't been in the accident. The fact that i emerged from that accident with my life was a miracle in its self...and for that I'm eternally grateful. It made me a more aware, more grateful, more 'wanting to live' kind of person.

For a very long time talking/writing/thinking about the accident kind of brought my heart to my throat. But as i sit here today I realise that is a thing of the past. Yes, i still have nightmares sometimes and the scars, pain and blaring metal detectors at airports will always be a reminder. But you know....reminders of how different things could have been and how lucky I am to be alive have now been filed into the positive rather than the negative side of my brain.

I hope you are happy. I hope you have found peace, and i hope you have become more responsible in time.

Regards
Ruby

Dear Afrihost

2010-09-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ohmigosh!!!! I won! i won! i won! *super big grin*

So Afrihost is relaunching their brand and they had a competition :) The prizes were 2 x 64GB 3G & Wifi iPads and 3 x iPhone 4 's. I never win anything, so wasn't expecting anything to come of it. So great was my surprise when on Monday afternoon my twitter stream started filling up with messages of congratulations. After much confusion i moseyed on over to the website to find this:

Yep, that's my name you see there.....i circled it for you, just in case you missed it:) Not only that, but later in the week i also won 10GB of prepaid data from Afrihost, which'll come in very handy once I've installed the ADSL line into my new place.

But enough of the technical stuff...i think I'm in love with my little iPad. It arrived at my office on Friday afternoon...and I've been in geek heaven ever since:) See the grin when it was delivered?

I've been petrified of scratching it, so today i went on a mission to find a suitable cover. And trust me, this was a mission. Since it hasn't officially been launched here yet, accessories are scarce..but i did finally discover a couple of covers I liked, and immediately settled on this incredibly gorgeous and glam red, notebook like cover...i love it!

Thank you once again to Afrihost for this awesome prize. I couldn't have been happier if i tried:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Being Brazen

2010-09-10T01:25:00.000-07:00

As always, my current addictions posts are addressed to you, as you were the inspiration behind them. So here follows a little bit of who i am and what makes me tick:) At the moment there are a couple of things in life that i feel i can't live without. They are as follows:

1. My darling iPhone 3GS
Yes, I'm still very much in love and addicted to my phone. This was recently affirmed when i had to do a review on an HTC Hero for GirlGuides...I couldn't WAIT to get back to using my iPhone....in fact, I'm so bad that I ended up carrying both phones with me throughout.

2. Long hot baths
I haven't had the luxury of these for a few years as my previous home only had a shower. I've rediscovered my love of long hot baths since moving into my new home. After a long stressful day i can't wait to get home and take a bath:)

3. Blackadder
I saw a couple of episodes a few years ago, but never had the chance to see Blackadder in it's entirety. A friend recently gave me seasons 1 to 5 on loan...I'm hooked! I love British humor:)

4. My Latin Lounge CD
la la la la....such music *dreamy smile*

5. Peanut butter M&M's
Yoh! A friend of mine recently visited the US and as a favour to me he agreed to bring me some peanut butter M&M's. Now, if you know me at all you'll know that this is probably one of my all time favourites and these days you can't get then in South Africa. Little did i know he would bring me back 2.5kg in total *grin*. But don't worry...I've been eating them in small quantities only...don't want to end up looking like i have a small African country as an ass.

Now tell me....what are your current addictions?

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear insert name of well known medium sized jozi auditing firm

2010-09-09T05:16:00.000-07:00

I am not impressed...in fact, I'm appalled and disgusted. How can you call yourself an auditor and pretend like you're all ethical and stuff? You are an utter disgrace to the profession.

But let me start at the beginning. A couple of months ago a group of companies decided that they didn't want you as their auditors anymore. They had various reasons for this, the biggest of which was that they could never get hold of the partner assigned to them and the financial statements take months and months and months to prepare. They chose us as their new auditors.

By law, the previous auditors are required to sign off all files and give us all the secretarial and taxation files, as well as minutes and resolutions etc etc etc. Let me just say i can completely understand WHY the client wanted to move. The engaging partner is an absolute nightmare to get hold of. He NEVER returns calls, doesn't reply to e-mails and is always in a meeting when you call. It took me almost two months just to organize the transfer of the files....ridiculous!

Recently, we signed another new client, also one of your previous clients. During the course of the audit we had checked opening balances and did the audit work as prescribed. All the while finding that the previous year's financials contained many many errors. NOT only that, but the figures in the financial statements didn't actually agree to the figures in the general ledger...as in not even remotely. Instead of preparing the financials using the same software you use to perform the audit, you had the financials typed up manually, and you just changed figures as you pleased. What the hell??? AND to top it all off the disclosure was not as per the reporting standards that we have to adhere to, but the audit report isn't even qualified! The poor client has been paying loads of tax(which by right he didn't owe) for the last couple years because of this...it's fraud! I've lost hours and hours of workable hours trying to fix your mess.

Granted...I did fix it and sort out all the issues. But it saddens and infuriates me that there are companies like you that don't give a damn about ethics and the fact that you bring our profession into disrepute.

FYI....we will be reporting you to the board, and we have informed the client of the extent of the problem...I'm guessing you might have a court case on your hands somewhere in the near future.

Regards
AngryRuby

Dear Ghost of weekend past

2010-09-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

So Friday started off with the worst migraine in the history of RubyMigraines....OK, so maybe not the worst, but definitely top 5. I drove to work with proper tunnel vision and everything, it was awful:( I spent the first half of the morning on the good old couch in my office, sipping rooibos tea and trying to feel better. It didn't work. But i had so much work to do that going home wasn't really and option. I decided to just bite the bullet and finish the work, trying my best to ignore the pain.

Because of the migraine i didn't make any plans for Friday night, also, I knew i had to spend a whole lot of time working on ASSignments this weekend, so late night partying wasn't really an option. Near the end of the workday however I started to feel much better and I ended up inviting a friend over for dinner (which was super yummy FYI) after which we headed off to Sandton city to go watch 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice'.

We weren't in the mood for something intense or anything that required a lot of focus.....the movie was perfect:) It didn't require much concentration or intelligence but was generally enjoyable and entertaining...awesome:) I was in bed by the reasonable hour of midnight...not that it means i was actually sleeping by this time, but at least i was in bed....it's a start:)

Saturday morning passed in a blur of research, ASSignment writing and coffee. But I'm pleased to report that i got a lot done, and for once even though i was working on my ASSignments I wasn't spending my weekend working on WORK stuff. One step at a time:)

Saturday afternoon was spent by the pool at the Radisson Blu having drinks with the GirlGuides crew. Much fun was had AND i got some new goodies to review *grin*. Saturday late afternoon and evening turned into a surprise visit to a friend...talking for hours, watching IT Crowd and listening to good music...what more can a girl ask for?

Sunday was definitely a #HappyRuby day:) I started out visiting my old church near my old home. It was awesome to see some familiar faces and to feel the 'I'm home'-feeling of it wash over me. I've been searching for a church close to my new home of late, so I've pretty much been going to a different church each Sunday. Being back in a familiar environment was nice:) After church i headed off to the replacements for a lovely Sunday lunch.

The Famous replacements :)

I was so very tempted to head out towards Magalies for Sunday afternoon drive...to get out of the city and to think of nothing except the beauty around me and focusing on the road. Sadly, my ASSignments were refusing to complete themselves and I HAD to head back home instead.

All in all, despite having to spend a lot of it working on my masters it was a really good weekend. I relaxed in between,.....which is always a good thing:) Life could definitely be a whole lot worse, and I'm grateful it's not:)

Now please hurry along and tell the 'Ghost of weekend to come' that despite the fact that I've got class on Saturday that i expect to have a fantastic weekend:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Pink Hair Girl

2010-09-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

I recently found this little bit of fluff on your blog and thought that i could totally use it here:) so here goes:)

1. What is your signature colour?
Uuuuuhmmmm....this is difficult. I have so many different colours. But I'll have to say.....Olive green, orange and Ruby red:)

2. Your most embarrassing moment?
oh goodness.....since we all know i have chronic foot in mouth disease there are so very many of these...and generally i try and forget about them. I'm sure everyone who knows me can come up with quite a few...you're more than welcome to remind me in the comments:P

3. Would you ever get anything else pierced, except for your ears.
I considered getting my tongue pierced when i was younger....but to be honest...nope, probably not

4. Are you a social butterfly or a homebody?
Hmmmm.....all though I'd like to think I'm pretty balanced i suppose i lean way more towards being a social butterfly. I'm almost ALWAYS busy when I'm not working...but i do enjoy a night at home every now and again, just to get focused again:)

5. Are you done having babies or do you want more?
Well, as far as i know i haven't even started!

6. Are you loyal to your hair stylist or do you try out every salon in town?
I LOVE my hair stylist! she's got personality and spunk and somehow always manages to do exactly what i want but with some added zing to it. Sadly, she's very popular and getting an appointment on a Saturday is nearly impossible if you don't book months in advance. I recently tried out a new hair stylist closer to my new home and one where i can get a same day appointment and they're open till 8pm at night. I was nervous as all hell and pretty much wanted to die...also, i felt pretty guilty about going to somebody else. But i have to say I was impressed. Not only was the girl super nice, she took initiative, but not too much, asked questions to ensure that we were on the same page and she did a super job:) Now at least i have an alternative to my regular hair stylist should i need it:)

7. How many times have you moved in your life?
Wow! I've moved 11 times! 7 of those moves have been in the last 10 years....insanity i tell you

8. If you could plan your dream vacation with just you and your love, where would it be?
hmmm...once again i can think of many answers to this question. Firstly i think I'd like to go all alone to a little wood cabin in the mountains...doesn't that sound absolutely divine? Or somewhere in a forest maybe.
Another choice here would definitely be doing a world tour backpack style *gets excited at the thought*.

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Readers

2010-09-02T04:46:00.000-07:00

As per previous posts I've done, inspired by Being Brazen, I will answer a few random questions, then you will also answer them in my comments section. I always have so much fun doing these, and you guys participate so nicely I figured they will now become a regular feature on this here blog:)

I am currently listening to......my 'Today' play list, right now MUTEMATH is playing..totally love them:)

I hate.......not getting closure on things

Anything......is possible...Believe it!

Today.....is a good day

Things that make me feel all warm and fuzzy and content......knowing I'm loved...seeing a beautiful sunrise or sunset....experiencing nature in it's most perfect form......listening to good music...sharing a beautiful view with someone that is special to me

Sometimes...dressing up for formal type party and looking all pretty is a great pick-me-up

True beauty.....can not be measured in what you look like

I am....super incredibly ridiculously excited about my upcoming Cape Town trip:) #RubyComesToCapeTown

I am currently reading......'Hide and Seek' by James Patterson. I've recently rediscovered the bliss that reading brings. I love reading and used to spend days doing it, these days i sadly don't have the time. I've promised myself that I'd read at least 2 or 3 pages every night before i go to bed...it helps my brain to focus on something other than my work and studies:)

Right! so now it's your turn...go answer them..pretty pretty please:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Odi

2010-08-23T05:56:00.000-07:00

As I'm sitting here writing this I'm trying my very best to bite back the tears. I am at work, I'm attempting to keep looking professional even though my heart is in a very sad place. I just received your phone call. You are remarkably calm for somebody who has just been diagnosed with a brain tumor....a rather large one at that. Then again....I would have been surprised if you weren't in complete control, a pillar of strength among your own sadness, the way you have always been.

I met you when i was only 17 years old, and over the years you have become a role model, a mentor, a life coach, a friend and for a brief moment in time you were also once the possible future father in law. You were there with advice and and a willing ear and shoulder when sadness struck and when i had to make big decision. Coaching me through life's little hurdles to become the person i was meant to be without either of us realising it. In my mind you were invincible...nothing could ever get you down. And here you are today, only human...your mortality cruelly flung into all our faces.

We are not without hope for a recovery. You are waiting to hear when they will schedule your operation to take the tumor out. Such a delicate and incredibly dangerous operation...my chest is already contracting in fear. And then there will be months of chemo. And with my family having a history of cancer I know what chemo does to a person.

I will hold you and your family in my prayers. Pleading with God to keep you safe during the operation and to make pain and suffering the minimum. And at the same time I will express gratitude at the fact that i have you in my life at all. And even though my heart is breaking right now I won't lose hope...because you won't let us.

I believe that one day soon we will all be walking on the beach again after this ordeal, laughing and singing: 'Al die goue see sand al die goue see sand by jou', and the thought of this brings a teary smile to my face. Get better soon... *hugs*

Love
Ruby
xxxxxx

Dear Tom Tom White Pearl

2010-08-20T05:47:00.000-07:00

Right! So here it is...my very first Girl Guides review:) I'll post the snapshot review on my blog and give you the link to the proper in depth review. Enjoy!

Upon opening the box my first reaction was 'ooooh pretty!!!!' It's rather apparent what the main girly feature on this nifty little gadget is supposed to be. It's gorgeous, it's cute and most importantly, it's feminine.

i decided to give it a bash right away and used it to plot my way from the office to my new home, hoping that my brand new toy would be able to show me a new way of getting home. Changing the 'home' address was easy enough, but what i did find was that the TomTom touch screen is not 'long nail' friendly. Nor was it easy to attach the GPS unit on my windscreen. This turned out to be a bit of a mission and i very nearly dropped the GPS a couple of times. At first glance it doesn't appear as if the GPS unit can be detached from the little suction cup unit, and so attaching it at a suitable level for me seemed near impossible, while behind the steering wheel. After a near fatal tangle which involved me, the dashboard and the GPS unit I'm rather embarrassed to admit that a few more times use lead to the discovery of how to pop the GPS unit from the suction cup in order to set it up more easily.

I'm definitely looking forward to playing with this little gadget some more. And i plan on using it to find new routes to everywhere, including possibly from my lounge to my bathroom.

The full review including turnons and turnoffs can be found here. Go read it NOW...you know you want to:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Girl Guides

2010-08-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

OMG! soooo much of excitedness. Finally, FINALLY the secret project which a whole lot of us have been a part of is live:) No more gag orders...yayness!!! I can finally spill the beans and tell everybody all about it and direct all my girly friends towards the site.

Basically, Girl Guides consist of a whole bunch of awesome awesome ladies who get together to discuss gadgets, technology, the how to's of technology and to drink wine and cocktails. These ladies come from all walks of life and present an all inclusive view of the 'gadget world'. The site is still in it's beta phase and therefor any feedback would be greatly appreciated:) Now go click on the link...you KNOW you want to:)

I'm VERY proud to say that I'm a reviewer and part of this incredible team of ladies and one or two gents:P In future I'll be posting my snapshot reviews on this here blog and a link that will guide you to the full review on the Girl Guides website.

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Readers

2010-08-19T01:25:00.000-07:00

As per previous posts I've done, inspired by Being Brazen, I will answer a few random questions, then you will also answer them in my comments section. I always have so much fun doing these, and you guys participate so nicely I figured they will now become a regular feature on this here blog:)

I wish.......I wouldn't let you get to me and that the insults and stabs you take at me wouldn't hurt, but they do
Work....should not be allowed to rule your life...I'm still struggling with this one and am a workaholic at the best of times, but I'm working on it
Friends.....are the most incredible gifts and are meant to be treasured and loved...I'm trying my best to make the people who are special to me feel that they are appreciated and cared for
I am.....right now...truly happy, some of the happiness is because of certain things and people, but large part of it is just simply because i am
Grace and mercy....is something i show to the people around me easily, but i don't have much grace and mercy for myself..this needs to be changed
I have....come to realize the value of good company, sometimes good food and always a good red wine.
Next year....brings with it a lot of uncertainty and much excitement

Now you answer them:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxxx

P.S. Picture courtesy of lolcats

Dear 30 seconds to Mars

2010-08-18T01:46:00.000-07:00

ooooooh!!!! so Much of excitedness....can't believe you guys are actually coming to SA:) *does happy dance* There is NO WAY that I'm missing the opportunity to see you guys live:) Sadly, bookings only open on the 26th of August...but I've set a reminder on my phone and I plan on buying my ticket as soon as bookings open:) Details with regards to the show can be found here.

I've decided to include the lyrics of one of my favourite recent songs as it is currently stuck in my head:)

Hurricane

No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave

No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe

No matter how many nights did you lie wide awake to the sound of the pausing rain

Where did you go? Where did you go? where did you go?

As the days go by the night's on fire

Tell me would you kill to save a life

Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?

Crash, crash, burn

Let it all burn

This hurricane's chasing us all under ground

No matter how many deaths that i die, i will never forget

No matter how many lies that i live, i will never regret

There is a fire inside that has started a riot about to explode into flames

Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God?

Do you really want?

Do you really want me?

Do you really want me dead or alive to torture for my sins?

Do your really want?

Do you really want me?

Do you really want me dead or alive to live a lie?

Tell me would you kill to save a life?

Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?

Crash, crash, burn

Let it all burn

This hurricane's chasing us all underground

You say you're wrong, you're wrong, I'm right, I'm right, You're wrong, we fight

OK, I'm running from the light, running from the day to night

Oh, the quiet silence defines our misery

The riot inside keeps trying to visit me

No matter how we try, it's too much history

Too many bad notes playing in our symphony

So let it breathe, let it fly, let it go

Let it fall, let it crash, burn slow

And then you call upon God

Tell me would you kill to save a life?

Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?

Crash, crash, burn

Let it all burn

This hurricane's chasing us all underground

Can't WAIT to see you guys:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxxxx

Dear Ghost of weekend past

2010-08-15T11:39:00.000-07:00

What a hectic weekend! On Friday after work i got in my awesome little car and headed of to Potchefstroom for my monthly Masters class. It had been an insane week and i was ridiculously tired on the drive. Loud music, loads of water and a call from a good friend kept me awake till I reached the guest house. Upon my arrival i spoiled myself with some comfort food and then settled into bed to watch 'The black adder'.

I was recently given season 1 - 5 of this series by a really good friend, but because i had been so busy i haven't had a chance to watch any of it. Luckily i thought of packing the first season while i dashed around my home on Friday morning packing for my trip. I love British humor...but finally had to give up after the 4th episode as I was just too tired to keep my eyes open.

Saturday morning saw me getting up early and getting ready for class. Breakfast at the guesthouse was, as always, awesome and total over indulgence:) It was my first class in a completely new subject with a new lecturer (thank goodness the ass presenting the first six months of this year had me at wit's end) and the material was quite enjoyable. And thank goodness he understood the art of not lingering on things that everybody knows and for once i finished before 1.

I desperately needed a trip to the hairdresser, but as my own hairdresser is a nightmare to get a booking with unless you're willing to wait 2 months, I decided to take the chance of an off afternoon and try out a new hairdresser. Can somebody say super stressed??? I was nervous as all hell. But she is awesome! She appreciated the fact that i asked her advice and returned the favour by explaining everything to me as she was doing it. We decided to keep the colour more or less the same, but after considering it for a while now i decided to get bangs. To be honest, I'm still completely undecided as to whether i like them or not...it doesn't look horrible, which is a good thing i suppose. I'll include a hastily taken picture and will try get a proper one soon:)

And then I had the opportunity to spend my Saturday night having pizza and wine with a friend that i haven't seen since i moved. It was awesome to catch up and to talk about so many things and get and give advice:)

Sadly, today, the day of rest, was spent doing the laundry, cleaning the apartment and working:( In fact, I'm still working *super sad face*. But I'm quite happy to announce that after tonight i think the rest of the week will be slightly more relaxed where work is concerned....yay me! *read, i wont have to work until all hours of the morning every night*

Sadly, dear weekend, i didn't have much of a weekend, nor did i actually get to rest, but at least i got my hair done, which I've been threatening to do for weeks but haven't had the time for. Lets hope that the weekend coming will have more success in seducing me into relaxation.

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Dear RoadHog GP

2010-08-13T01:49:00.000-07:00

So on Saturday morning, shortly after 5am, I left Jozi to go spend what was left of my long weekend with the parentals. It was a bit of a last minute decision, but i was tired and stressed and I missed them and i needed the break. So after one seriously hectic week i packed my bags and hit the road. Excited about the drive as always...I love road trips!

About 23km or so before the De Hoek Tollgate, i spotted your vehicle in front of me on the highway in the fast lane. You were only going about 80, but moved over into the slow lane long before i was anywhere close to you, so i just continued merrily on my way. Then, as i pulled up beside me you suddenly swerved and tried to push me off the road. Instinctively i hit my brakes and the hooter at the same time to prevent being pushed off the road, changed lanes and passed you in the slow lane. Then all hell broke loose.

For some arb reason, totally unknown to me you started chasing me. Driving right on my ass and gesturing at me through the window. I was getting freaked out, as i knew the tollgate was coming up and I'd have to stop. We finally reached the tollgate and as we stopped you stopped right on my ass to prevent me from going anywhere. You and the guy in the passenger seat got out, ran up to my car and started bashing at the windows with your fists...trying to break the windows, shouting. I clearly recall every single word out of your filthy mouth...the string of insults was started with :'I'm gonna f*** you up you racist little bitch! I'm gonna get you and I'm gonna f*** you up you f***ing racist bitch". I suspect the look on my face didn't help, i was so surprised by the whole thing that my face literally portrayed 'dude, what the hell are you on about". Thankfully, the car in front of me went through the gate and I could move forward, AND a taxi driver pulled up behind your car and started shouting at you through the window....at which time you ran back to your car.

The lady working at the tollgate, bless her soul, told me to just drive, she'll try and stall you long enough so i can get some distance between us, as I'd have to turn off the highway soon and didn't want you following me onto the abandoned little farm roads that I'd be taking. To say that i was driving 160km/h would be an understatement. I figured I'd rather get a fine or be pulled over by the cops than be pushed off the road by you and your insanity.

I was quite badly shaken at the time. I'm fine now, but dude, seriously, you need to get help. I didn't even do anything and you were trying to attack me and push me off the road...what is up with that?? or did you figure it was a nice little game because i was a girl and i was alone in my car? Coward! It's people like you that cause other people to live in fear and to buy guns. It is due to people like you that our can't reach it's full potential.

Sadly I didn't think of taking down your registration number at the time. All i wanted to do was get out of there. If i had, you would have had so much crap right now. Next time you decide to act like a complete neanderthal i hope you mess with the wrong person..idiot.

Regards

Ruby

Dear female slave

2010-07-30T02:23:00.000-07:00

*after some thought and consideration i've deleted the first part of the letter. Ultimately this is what i wanted to tell her...so this can stay*

You're heading back home to go live with your parents. Johannesburg hasn't been good to you, and i think at heart you remained a small town girl and never adapted to the big city. I honestly hope that you are happy. I pray that you find a job where you are happy with people that understand you. I hope that you are successful and that life turns out good for you.

Best of luck to you!
Ruby

Dear Readers

2010-07-29T00:28:00.000-07:00

As per a previous post I've done, inspired by Being Brazen, I will answer a few random questions, then you will also answer them in my comments section. I had so much fun doing the last one, and you guys participated so nicely I figured i would do another one:)

I am....going through a bit of a lonely patch...very unusual for me and I'm not exactly enjoying it
Right now....I'm quite sad as a friend of mine that was 5 months pregnant lost her baby:(
Love....can be so overwhelming and powerful and yet so gentle at the same time
The greatest thing....we can ever have is to love and to be loved in return (courtesy of Moulin Rouge)
Recently.....I acquired a tea box...yayness!!! it's so pretty and it's gonna look awesome in my new kitchen:)
Happiness....is something you have to make for yourself, it's not going to just find you.

Now off you go my lovelies:) You complete the the sentences now:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Angel and Neels

2010-07-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

yay!!!! And then there was ONE :) Congratulations guys! Finally finally the big day of #AnGlugWedding arrived. 24 July 2010 will forever be a fond memory in my life. The that two of my friends, who just happen to be two of the most incredible people i know, Angel and Neels, finally got married:)

What a love story it has been. Meeting 'online' and carefully plotting and building until an absolutely beautiful relationship emerged. A relationship in which they accepted each other with the Knucklehead (who looked ridiculously handsome at the wedding just so by the way) and whatever they had in their pasts. A relationship where love ruled and will forever rule. A relationship that makes me smile every time i think about it. You guys are so ridiculously perfect for each other:)

Congratulations my friends, I am so incredibly happy for you. Angel, you looked absolutely gorgeous!! The decor was spectacular and everything was just so naturally you that i couldn't help but smile every time i noticed something. Glug, you looked so very handsome! and your smile knew no bounds. I wish you guys only love and happiness and many blessings and a life together filled with beautiful memories that'll last forever.

The cupcakes were yummy....as always:) And the photo booth that you guys rented for the night was definitely a hit. I'm not sure in how many pictures i appear in total.....lets just say...erm... A LOT! but it was fun and the whole idea of putting copies of all of those pics along with little messages in a book for you guys was absolutely brilliant!

Finally got to meet Acidicice and BecauseI in person:) Don Packett was the MC for the evening and he kept us all entertained:) The place was filled with twitter and blogger people and Don at some point jokingly said that if the place were to implode for whatever reason the twitter world would be A LOT quieter. Thanks a LOT to my date, Claude, for being a sport and helping me out when i was in a bit of a pinch...muchly appreciated honey:) And of course i sat at the absolute BEST table with Phillygirl, Doodles and Louisa....thanks girls...always a pleasure!!!

Can't wait for you guys to come back and I can't wait to see all the pictures Jenty took at your wedding. Enjoy the honeymoon!!!! *wink wink*

So much love

Ruby
xxxxxx

P.S. Attached are some of my favourite pics from the evening from my camera(the hair shot is courtesy of Wenchy) and the photo booth.....enjoy:) They include pics of us and of the cupcake, the centre piece on the table and of me and the gorgeous bride!

Dear Nicklecreek

2010-07-21T02:05:00.000-07:00

You have been one of my favourite bands for a very very long time. This specific song has a very special place in my heart and I decided to share the lyrics with my readers to show them a little piece of my heart:) Enjoy!

"When You Come Back Down"

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

[Bridge:]
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

Love

Ruby

xxxxx

Dear Ruby

2010-07-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

OK chicky....seriously...you need to start looking after yourself somehow....or you need to seriously speak to the environment around you....or you need to start living in a zorb, as suggested by a friend, cause you can't go through life abusing yourself.

But wait....let me back up and explain a little bit. So as you all know, the week of my birthday i was sick as a dog....but the week did end with an awesome awesome party on the Friday night:) Thank you again to all who attended:) Then, last week i was on study leave as i was writing exams this past Saturday. So on Wednesday i got to the guesthouse by the university and as I'm unpacking the car i drop the car keys. As i swoop down to catch them in a move that would make Jonty Rhodes jealous, my beautiful car decides it's time for the doors to close......which meant that the corner of the car door and the corner of my eye met with quite some force...and I've been walking around with a gorgeous black eye since then.

Funniest part by far is that most people don't actually believe me when i tell them what happened....in fact, most strangers come and advise me to get out of my abusive relationship. Sweet in a way....but disturbing that people automatically assume that you're in an abusive relationship. Sad that this is what our world is coming to.

Here's a picture of my eye the day after it happened:

This is what my eye looks like today....5 days after the 'incident'.

Then, on Saturday night...after a tiring day of writing exam and watching skydivers, I decided to have a nice long bath. AND of course i just HAD to slip and fall on the tiles in my hallway. Falling solidly on my tailbone and lower back. So not only do i now have a black eye, i also have an injured wrist, a bruised hand, a bruised upper arm and an injured back. *sigh*

Above is one of the billions of bruises on my upper right arm.

Please at least try and look after yourself from now on....pretty please.

Love
Ruby

xxxxx

Dear Ruby

2010-07-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *attempts to do happy dance, almost passes out and decides to rather sit down*.

Right, so not the most awesome way to have a birthday...but it could have been worse. On Monday morning at 2AM I woke up with a temperature of 39.5 degrees and a throat that felt as if somebody decided to cut it out and replace it with a combination of a fire, raw flesh and acid. After unsuccessfully trying to lower my own temp and feeling awful I finally relented and took myself off to the doctor. Turns out, I've got acute tonsillitis, ear infection and the beginnings of flu. Great start to my birthday week don't you think. So, for the last 2 days I've been in a medicine induced coma, and I will admit, I've been feeling pretty miserable at the thought of spending my birthday in bed, alone and sick.

But i should have known better:) I've had so many amazing messages, phone calls, tweets and FB messages sent my way that there was no chance for feeling down and out. And an amazing friend took me for brunch/lunch and some quality time to make me feel less miserable about the situation....Thank you so much! you know who you are:)

Anyway, so as a birthday post i figured I'd list a couple of things I've learned this year...from this day last year to today. Things about myself, other and life in general...so bear with me:)

1. My faith is what keeps me going most days...without it I'd be lost.
2. I'm not perfect, I know this better than anyone. There are so many things that I'm working to better and change and improve on in my life. But at the end of the day, I'm the only one of me I've got...and I'm doing what i can to be the best me i possibly can.
3. Sometimes happiness can be found in the most unexpected places
4. A beautiful sunrise/sunset makes my heart warm and lifts my spirits
5. It's OK to not always be OK.
6. I have the most amazing family. My parentals are super supportive, loving and they've always given me the opportunity to be the best that i can be. My brother and sister in law...man i love those two, even if they are so far away.
7. My friends form an incredibly important part of who I am.
8. Chocolate may not fix everything..but it will def improve my view of the world, even if it is only for a very short period.
9. I've rediscovered the magical effect of an awesomely hot bath in my new home
10. I love my new home!!!!!
11. People are people and will therefore most probably disappoint you at some point....they will break promises and they will hurt you. The important thing is not to let this get to you (I'm still working on this one). Focus on the beautiful in people instead...nobody's perfect.
12. Hugs are awesome...OK, so I've always known this one...but it's been reaffirmed.
13. You can't always control your heart with your mind or your brain....sometimes it has a life of it's own.
14. I started salsa dancing since my last birthday and i fell totally in love with it.
15. I found friendships in the most amazing places:)
16. I got to witness the miracle that is the Victoria Falls with my own eyes...what a humbling experience!
17. I've also learnt that being accident prone is not something you outgrow as you get older....apparently
18. Quality time with the people you love is way more important than anything else you could ever give them
19. I've become a total apple fan since my last birthday...who would ever have thought
20. These days all my new shoes get cleaned with spirits before i wear them due to the lovely acid burns i received after buying a pair of sabotaged shoes from a very upmarket store in JHB.
21. It's entirely possible to be deliriously happy and very sad at the same time.
22. The trauma of having to see your friend's dead body will stay with you forever...even after the hurt fades
23. I got to ride an elephant:)
24. Even with the everything that's happened...I'm lucky enough to have a pretty fairy tale style life...I'm grateful, I'm happy, I'm me :)

I considered doing as many as the years I'm old, but abandoned that idea somewhere along the line :) So, here's to an amazing year ahead. Thank you to each and every one that's been a part of it. I appreciate every single one of you!

Love
Ruby
xxxx

P.S. have added a whole bunch of random happy snapshots from the last year....enjoy:) Happy times! #HappyRuby!!!!!

Dear Being Brazen

2010-06-21T00:16:00.000-07:00

2. My new home
Believe it or not, but due to insane deadlines etc. i still haven't finished unpacking....BUT i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my new home:) I'm so comfortable and happy here...home is truly where the heart is:)

*pic courtesy of another blogger*

3. My new bedding
Long ago i decided that once i moved my main bedroom will be decorated in white, turquoise and silver. This weekend i bought the most beautiful white duvet cover....yes, so it was expensive...do i care...NO!

4. My 'new' old shoes
During the move i discovered a pair of shoes that i had bought ages ago and sort of forgotten about...they are supercute and I've developed a new found love for them:)

5. And much as i hate admitting it.......Vida coffee :)

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

My heart

2010-06-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

I wrote you a letter today....a long one. It will never be posted here...nor will you ever have the chance to read it....to me it is good enough to know that i wrote it.

I love you
Your beautiful disaster
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear readers

2010-06-15T04:41:00.000-07:00

OK, so I need help...opinions...anything...but i need to make a very very important decision and some objective input would be appreciated.

It's almost time to pay a visit to my hairdresser:P (life threatening situation, i know) and I've been toying with the idea of colouring my hair very dark, almost black, again like I had it a while back. I am however not sure and would appreciate some input. Please leave a comment with your opinion on the matter. Should i make it almost black again or stick to my more natural honey brown colouring?

Love
Ruby
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Dear Readers

2010-06-08T00:08:00.000-07:00

As per a previous post I've done, inspired by Being Brazen, I will answer a few random questions, then you will also answer them in my comments section. I had so much fun doing the last one, and you guys participated so nicely I figured i would do another one:)

Right now......I miss my best friends so much that it actually physically hurts
I need....more time:/ But i think once I've settled into the new home I'll have at least 2 hours extra a day :)
I wish.....I understood what was going on around me....how people's mind's worked so that i wouldn't get in a tizz about the things they go through
Shredders are.....the most amazing things ever invented...i love shredding stuff
I love......being out in nature...it makes me happy and peaceful:)
Friends are.....my peculiar treasures...they hold the puzzle pieces to my life
Life.....was created to share with others

Right my lovelies.....now off you go and participate like the good people i know you are:) It'll only take a second:)

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Hometown

2010-05-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been here in quite some time....but man is it nice to be back:) To escape the hustle and bustle of the city for a week tranquility, even if I have to work and even though i have to spend my evenings working on assignments, is heaven.

I'm convinced this is one of the most beautiful areas in the whole wide world. This is where i grew up, and there is a peacefulness that envelopes my soul when I'm here:) Another awesome thing about this week is that i get to spend it with the parentals:) Sure, i don't get to see them a lot, because of work and assignments...but just knowing they're here and being able to have coffee and supper with them makes me happy:) They are such an important part of my world, that every minute i get to spend with them is a blessing:) And great was my surprise when i arrived here on Sunday to find my gran visiting my folks.....double pleasure for me:)

I love coming here...so beautiful, so quiet, so cold and so peaceful:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxxxx

Dear Weekend

2010-05-28T04:30:00.000-07:00

The next couple of days are going to be quite tough for me and I would appreciate it if you could extend yourself slightly and make the earth rotate slower so that i can in fact have more time all together. See, here's the thing.

At 2 o'clock today i need to leave my office in order to go the offices of my new, far away, client's previous auditors. I then need to rush through their previous year audit file in order to ensure that they did their job correctly. Please note that we have been in communication with them for the past month and I've been given the run around and been avoided and ignored for most of those, and only managed to get the appointment for today because I finally lost my cool over the phone. The 2 hours which they are allowing me to see the file isn't nearly enough for the amount of work to be done...this is the first time I'll need you to go by slower.

After this disastrous meeting at 2:30 I will hopefully head over to my new apartment *excitedness*, and collect my key. Then I'll be heading off to meet Philly_girl and G for dinner and Grease at Monte. Then I'm heading home to finish packing for the big move tomorrow. At the moment I'm of the opinion i probably won't have even a minute of sleep this evening...as there is still plenty to be done before tomorrow morning at 8.

Tomorrow morning is the big MOVE....so much of excitedness :) Hopefully I'll be able to spend the afternoon unpacking some of my stuff, after which i shall head to Philly_girl for her birthday dinner..yayness!!! And for a change i won't have to drive far as my new place is not too far away from her :)

Then on Sunday morning I need to pack for the week that I'll be away for this new client, head off to the office to prepare the file for the away audit, and then at 1 I'll be heading off to the beauty that is my hometown. Where I will spend the week slaving away on an insane deadline, working on insane assignments that have to be in the following weekend and hopefully somewhere in between get to spend some time with the parentals. The sad part is I won't even have time to unpack or really enjoy my new home before having to leave for a week....the exciting part is that i will get to see my mommy and daddy, even though I'll be very busy.

So please dear weekend...if it is at all possible...can you stretch yourself out a little bit and be kind to little old Ruby??

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Baby Cuz

2010-05-27T00:19:00.000-07:00

Happy happy birthday honey!!!! Hope you have the most amazing day and that the years ahead will be filled with blessings and love and too many incredible things to list.

I can't believe you're turning 14 already! The other day you were just a baby.....hell, when i moved to jhb you were only 8 years old....it's insane! You and your 3 sisters have become like the 3 younger sisters i never had....and I'm still amazed when i realise you guys look up to me in life. It scares me sometimes.

You're growing into a beautiful and amazing young woman, filled with dreams and ideals and a passion to be something unique in this world. Don't ever lose that:)

I love you so very much sweetie!

Love
Ruby

On being disappointed in yourself

2010-05-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

So today is NOT a letter...as you can see. I didn't feel like addressing the post to anyone as I would have had to address it to myself, which would just make me feel worse than i already am. So it's a post, an honest one and one that i didn't especially enjoy writing....but it's good. It's important to be honest with yourself from time to time.

You know those moments in life when you suddenly stop and look in the mirror, so to speak, and see changes in yourself? Yesterday was one of those moments. It wasn't planned, it wasn't expected and to be honest it wasn't very enjoyable either. Because i looked at myself and I saw that there were things about me that were beginning to change...some of them were good and provided proof that I'm growing as a person, but some were downright disappointing.

I had to be honest with myself and admit that I did not like what I saw. The only relief I found was in the fact that these changes have as yet not affected anyone else but me. I haven't started lying, or purposefully hurting people, nor have I left behind any of the things I stand for in life. In fact, i think if i had to explain what exactly was bothering me to most people they would laugh and point out that they don't understand what I'm disappointed about. But somewhere in the last couple of weeks I've started losing a part of who I am. Things that make me who I am, that shape my character and my personality and form part of the person that my friends love and care for.

And for what am I losing these things? I have NO idea. I can't quite put my finger on when it started or the reason for it. All I know is it stops NOW. I can quite clearly see where i will end up if I allow these changes in me to take place, and I don't like what i see. So I refuse to let it happen.

I've been a bit of an emotional wreck the last couple of weeks and I've been blaming a myriad of things for this. And yes, I have been taking severe strain with the fact that i was in a position where i had to move and didn't have a place to move to. And moving in itself is a pretty stressful thing. But in retrospect i think my emotional roller coaster had way more to do with me being unhappy with myself than anything else, and it's just so much easier to blame other things rather than yourself.

I'm disappointed in myself for allowing myself to make compromises that I would never normally make. I don't deal well with disappointing people, even more so when I'm the one i disappointed. I'm grateful for the fact that the subtle changes which have only started very recently have mostly been internal/emotional of nature and as yet have not affected my outward behaviour. Not that it makes me feel better about the situation, but it serves as a little bit of a comfort.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure a number of people are quite confused at the moment and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. I'm sorry bout the cryptic nature of the post, but the fact is, if nobody has noticed the changes and they don't know what I'm talking about it proves I'm right in saying that the changes are currently internal of nature and I can therefore stop them from taking place before it affects anybody else but me.

Even though having to face being a disappointment to yourself is never a 'nice' experience, I'm kinda grateful that I was forced to face reality yesterday. It helped me to see something which could potentially be a problem and fix it. Most ironic part of all of this........facing my demons yesterday had an immediate affect on my emotional state. Am back to being my normal, calm, happy and sunshiny self.

Rubyshoes is back y'all!

Dear readers

2010-05-24T06:16:00.000-07:00

As per a previous post I've done, inspired by Being Brazen, I will answer a few random questions, then you will also answer them in my comments section. I had so much fun doing the last one, and you guys participated so nicely I figured i would do another one:)

Today I....realised how incredibly blessed I am

I wish....I could wave around a little magic wand and get rid of all the heartache that touches the lives of the people that are special to me

Life....is actually quite simple, it is we who make it complicated.

Song currently stuck in my head.....'Sabra girl' by Nickle Creek...so beautiful

People...are all strange and that is why i find them so intriguing

Kisses....are special and should be cherished by those that receive them

Yesterday......i took an aimless drive to absolutely nowhere to clear my head...and yes, after last week it def needed clearing. I drove forever without any direction....finally stopped with only veld and mountains around me...Deep down i'm the ultimate nature girl....I returned hours later feeling like a new person. Life truly is good:)

Now....i KNOW you want to participate...so off you go my lovelies:)

Love
Ruby
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Dear Postsecret

2010-05-21T05:34:00.000-07:00

I have been visiting your site religiously every week for the last 5 years. I love looking at the postcards on your site. Some of them break my heart, others make me feel like i wish i could reach out and touch someone, then there are those i can totally relate to, and finally the ones that just bring a huge ass smile to my face.

Ever since I've started visiting your site, I've also been saving some of my favourite ones onto my computer. Recently i rediscovered some of the older ones and I decided to put some of them up here. I love your site, and i think your initiative so many years ago was incredible.

Love

Ruby
P.S. 4 of these may as well have been written by me......have fun guessing which ones:)

xxxxx

Dear Ruby

2010-05-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

Wow! what an insane morning....and insane relates to everything about it...not just the amount of work that had to be completed by lunch time.

This morning I've been up and down an insane emotional roller coaster, teetering on the brink of what i can now call a bit of an emotional meltdown, which finally ended in a flood of tears in the bathroom. Now let the record reflect, I don't often cry....I've only cried at work twice before...both of those were for valid reasons, bursting into uncontrollable tears for no apparent reason at work is not really my style.

That being said, sometimes having a good cry is the best medicine in the world. It serves as an outlet for bottled up emotions and stresses that we don't always realise we have. For me....crying and admitting that I was emotionally tired and shattered was a good thing. I'm feeling a million times better, have a genuine smile on my face and it feels like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I've decided to make a list of things that i noticed/learned this morning. A list i can keep and use to remind myself when i need some reminding.

1. My eyes go insanely green when I've cried. Yes, i realise this is totally random and unimportant and i really don't need to remember this point...but i observed it today for the first time. Some form of beauty in the pain or something i guess.
2. Being there for friends is very important, but you need to remember that all the energy they sap from you needs to be replaced and the emotional turmoil you absorb needs to find an outlet in your mind....if you don't work through this stuff regularly they do result in little melt downs like this morning
3. I have an amazing boss.....Upon seeing my teary eyes earlier he gave me a hug and asked if i was OK...he then had the decency to accept my teary smile and nod and go on with our meeting as if having red eyes just happen to be the latest fashion accessory
4. My best friends are the most awesome beings in the whole entire world. They love and accept me for who I am. And regardless of what nonsense may spout forth from my mouth, they just take it all in stride. Thank you:)
5. A simple one word sms like, *hugs*, from a friend can have a huge impact on how you're feeling.
6. I do believe parents are waaaay underrated. Mine are the absolute best...and a long talk with mommy letters after said melt down did me the world of good.
7. Try and avoid putting yourself into stressful situations, such as having to move out of your current home by the end of the month while still not having anywhere to go. That being said....I'm viewing a place that sounds lovely after work today....please please please hold thumbs and pray that it's awesome:)
8. Bottling up emotions really isn't the wisest course of action....ever.
9. You need to accept that you can't fix everything. You can't feed all the hungry people, you can't help every abandoned child, you can't take away the heartache that friends are experiencing....all you can do is be there.
10. There are times when my faith and hope are the only things i have to hold on to....I'm grateful for both of these
11. It's OK to have little meltdowns every now and again, just don't make a habit of it OK?

Anyhoodle...i just wanted to remind you.....You're loved and cared for, and if you're wearing your rubyshoes you can accomplish anything. Chin up:)

Love

The practical Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Girls

2010-05-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

So a friend of mine sent this little gem to me:) I realise that many of you may already have received it via e-mail or otherwise, but it is so cute that i just couldn't resist.

In preparation for the World Cup, the 'offside rule' explained in a language that non sport orientated women can understand:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you MUST have.....(as one does) The female shopper in front of you has seen them too and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses (shock horror! that never happens...i can see a male person wrote this...who forgets a purse if you're going to a shoe store???). It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and 'whilst it is in flight' you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has actually been thrown it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE.

Well girls, I hope this helps you a little:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mister Bossman

2010-05-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks I've been going through a very weird time in my life. The strangest thing is, i didn't even realise I was going through this weird time until i starting snapping out of it. Oh sure, i was aware that things weren't as they should be, but i couldn't really put my finger on it until it started setting itself straight again.

Now you may wonder why on earth I'm sending you this letter. Well, the fact of the matter is, this weirdness I've been going through related purely to my work and my studies for some reason. I've always been very passionate about my job and my studies. I've loved it ever since i started, and I've always given my 1000%, my time, my strength, my concentration and everything i had to complete my tasks for both work and studies.

The last couple of weeks I've been so detached from it all. I didn't want to work and i certainly didn't want to work on my studies. Sure, i reached all my deadlines and my work was always satisfactory...but for someone who generally loves her job..doing a job because you have to is pure hell. I've always been one of those people that a lot of other people hate because I'm all chipper about going to work in the morning. But of late, well, I've been doing just enough to do everything satisfactory....totally unlike me.

You'll be glad to know that I'm starting to snap out of it. Starting today:) Sure, i realise I'm on sick leave, but i was all inspired today...so even though i was at home I've done a lot...and I'm sure tomorrow when i come to work you'll be pleased with the progress made:) For you, me snapping out of this pretty much means that my work will not only be satisfactory, but it will be done with a smile, with my normal passion and 1 000% dedication.

I've missed passionate me....and I'm really glad to have me back:)

Regards

Ruby

Dear Readers

2010-05-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

Today I've decided to write a letter to ALL of you using a post inspired by the 'it's for you' posts that Being Brazen always do.

How it always works: I will answer a few random questions, then you will also answer them in my comments section. I hope you'll all have fun participating:)

Today I......decided to trust someone with a little piece of who i am
Last night.....I dreamt that my best friend died in a car accident. I woke up hysterical and crying and ended up feeling very much uneasy until i received a message from him during the course of the morning.
Right now....I am listening to Nickle Creek (totally awesome band) and writing a blog post.
I would be lying if....I said that i wasn't maybe, sorta, kinda crushing on a boy person a little.
I love....salsa:)
I wish....i wouldn't be so hard on myself when i screw up....people make mistakes...it's normal
Thought for the day......happiness is more important than a lot of things
Song currently stuck in your head......Empire state of mind by Alicia Keys and Jay-Z

Hope you all enjoy answering my questions:)

Love

Ruby

xxxxxxxxx

Dear Pink Hair Girl

2010-04-27T12:32:00.001-07:00

Wow! thank you so much for the awarding me the Beautiful blogger award in your latest post. Such an incredibly sweet thing to say..the award and the beautiful words were very much appreciated:)

For the award I have to tell you 7 things about myself that you do not know and then pass it on to 7 other bloggers that I think are beautiful. A tough one, considering the various meme's that have been completed on this here blog, but i shall give it a bash anyway:)

1. I have a dream of having a school for fine arts one day. Dancing, singing, acting, music..all of it. To promote the love there of in the hearts of the youth and those not privileged enough to be exposed to it all the time

2. I have moments of extreme loneliness...I'll be surrounded by people who love and care for me and yet i feel like I'm all alone in the world, like nobody knows me. I'm grateful that these moments are very rare though:)

3. There is something about me that only a very limited amount of people know. Most of them respect it, but very few of them understand it.

4. I have a fascination for knives and swords. I own a swords and a couple of knives too :)

5. I'm a bit of a Pyro

6. I love children. Child abuse, starving children and other bad things that affect children really hits me in the gut. I used to volunteer at the government hospital while I was studying and visited the children's ward once a week. I'd play with them, tell them stories, sing them to sleep, hold the babies, help feed them and generally give them the attention the nursing staff couldn't give them, even though they wanted to. Some of those kids had been there for weeks and weeks on end with nobody coming to visit them. I always went home in tears and generally spent the rest of the evening feeling as if somebody ripped my heart out.

7. Today is the 10th anniversary of my favourite uncle's death. He was an incredible human being. The last thing he said to me while i was visiting him in hospital was 'you are beautiful, everything about you is beautiful...don't ever lose that. You're so passionate about life, i wish i could see where you will be in 10 years' He died that night. Well my darling uncle, today is 10 years later...I hope I can say that you'd be proud of the person I've become:)

So now i get to award it to 7 other bloggers:) Many of you have already been awarded this specific award, so if you get a second one from me....deal with it ok?
So my awards go to:
1. Louisa - Fantastic and super interesting person. Doing the single mommy thing and generally making life fun and interesting :)
2. Being Brazen - she has the most insightful posts, often learn things over weekends and is a sweet and wonderful blogger person
3. Jessica - a lovely lady that I'm grateful I've gotten to know. Truly beautiful both on the in and the outside.
4. Phillygirl - my beautiful and darling friend, *hugs* you're incredible:)
5. Doodles - A girl after my own heart...she's like my carbon copy, and if i win the award so does she:)
6. Arkwife - My friendster...i love you...you are beautiful:)
7. My terrivle twin - one of the most amazing and interesting people ever...she is awesome and beautiful and you'll love her to bits!

Love
Ruby
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P.S. Gauteng is empty without you hun:)

Dear Readers

2010-04-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

So this week hasn't all together been a good one, to be perfectly honest. A good friend of mine, who lives in CT, committed suicide last week Sunday...he shot himself. It's the second friend this year I've lost in this way. I guess this time i should be grateful that i wasn't nearby, that i wasn't the one who found him and and that i didn't have to stare death in the face like i had to at the beginning of the year...small miracles i guess. I'm not entirely sure i would have coped with that....once was more than enough.

I received the news on Sunday night while i was at a restaurant having fun with a couple of friends of mine. I managed to put up a brave face, hardly telling any of them at the time as i didn't want to put a damper on their fun evening...in hindsight i think that was silly. They're all good friends of mine who would gladly have supported me...but instead i sat there trying to be happy while i was breaking inside.

The funeral was Thursday, needless to say, it was a tough day all together. I'm kind of grateful that i was racing against time in order to reach a Friday lunchtime deadline, otherwise it would have been pure hell. It's funny, at the time I thought i was fine. I even told my best friend that i was fine, and i wasn't lying...but now that i look back on this week i realise that i wasn't quite as fine as i thought,....i was sad and confused. Confused, because I've never ever felt really depressed. Because i don't understand how it feels to get to a point where life just doesn't seem worth living anymore. Confused because i was blessed with a sunshiny personality that bubbles over even when I'm going through tough times, because no mountain has ever seemed to high, because even in my darkest times my life is filled with hope and optimism.

I've come to the conclusion that depression and suicide will never make sense to me. My heart truly goes out to people who go through this deepest of darkness. The people who reach a place in there lives where they just don't feel up to living anymore. My heart truly breaks for them..but i don't understand it, and this makes me feel really helpless. All I can do is love them and support them and make sure that they know that they are appreciated and cared for. And i promise to do that to the best of my abilities.

So rest in peace my friend...you will be missed.

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear sexy date friend

2010-04-12T00:19:00.000-07:00

Happy happy happy birthday honey!!!!!! *gives many hugs and birthday kisses* I hope that you have an incredible day and that the year ahead will be more amazing than all the years you've had so far. I pray that your life will be filled with many blessings, lots of love and bucketloads of happiness:)

In the years I've known you, you've been a good friend. Your heart is pure, your sense of humor slightly twisted(much like mine) and your love for music and your passion for all things you love all come together in one incredibly handsome package. (and yes ladies....i mean VERY VERY handsome)

Thank you for all that we've been able to share thus far, and i look forward to knowing you and being part of your life for many years to come.

Lots of love
Ruby
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxOne of my boys:)

Yes, we're total posers:)
Giving the bouquet i caught at my chamber's wedding some loving

I TOLD you he was super hot!

As my sexy date at my chamber's wedding:)

Dear number 19

2010-03-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe I'm actually saying goodbye and moving on. It's been 3 years, in fact, this weekend....the very one that I'm using to move out.....it will be exactly 3 years since i moved in.

It's been an eventful 3 years, I won't lie. Filled with happy and sad times, but finally, after 3 years it's time for me to move on. You've seen many funny things, tears, moments of hysterical laughter, quite a few boys, many friends, many prayers, a friend committing suicide and many memories.

I will never forget what i was going through back when I moved in. The hasty departure from my previous place of residence and the many tears shed during those first couple of weeks. But then you started holding me close in your brick arms, pulling me into your heart and making me part of your character. After a while even the brute and I got along fine and she loved me in her strange way:)

Your owners have become like my second set of grandparents. They gave me love and support and looked after me when I was sick. They got worried when they didn't see me for long periods of time and never once complained about the fact that I'm out until all hours of the early morning. And the male owner killed more than one gigantic ninja spider who was out to get me:)

I'm very sorry bout the bathroom door which got a tiny little bit chowed by my dog when i was looking after her while the parental unit was in the States....but you know...these things happen:) It is with a heavy heart that I say farewell to you, my dwelling place. But at the same time I'm super excited about the new place, and about the things to come. I hope your new occupant and you will get along as well as the two of us did:) oh, and just so by the way....I'd appreciate it if you could keep all the spiders here....I'd prefer not to let them accompany me to my new home.....for obvious reasons.

Love
Ruby
xxxxxx
P.S. I've included some random snapshots for you to remember me and our fun times by:)
When i just moved into the house during my housewarming:)

The Brute! trust me....she's scary scary scary!!!!!!!!

Fun times with braais by the pool:)

Alcohol was not something we had a shortage of

Sleepy time! ok, so it's a posed sleepy time....who cares:) Hands up everybody that love my shoesies in this one :)

Dear Muso

2010-03-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

Happy happy birthday honeypie!!!!!!! I hope you have an amazing day and that the year ahead is a happy and blessed one:) I hope you find what you're looking for and reach some of those goals.

The two of us have been through so many things. Ups and downs and happy times and fights. We even shared a house for 2 and a half years shortly after i came to live in Joburg. Those were happy and carefree days:) You were there for me after the accident...giving me love and support and helping where you can.

Your heart is good, your faith pure and your passion for your music something incredible to experience. So here's to you love....happy birthday!

Love
Ruby
xxxxxxx

Dear Chamber

2010-03-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

Happy happy happy birthday my darling best friend!!! I hope you have an absolutely incredible day and that the year ahead will be filled with love and happiness and blessings and laughter and good memories.

We've been through so much in the last 9 years. Lots of good laughs and tears and good times and bad times...but all in all the past 9 years have been amazing. I love you so much and I wish i could have joined you today in celebrating this big day:/ But i hope to see you soon my chamber.
Lots of love
Ruby
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Jess and Sproutsmom

2010-03-17T04:40:00.000-07:00

I saw this little gem on both of your blogs(sproutsmom & Jessica) and thought it was a lovely idea:)
The whole idea is to have this list of 99 things you could have done and to put the ones you have done in bold....so here goes:)

1.) Started your own blog
2.) Slept under the stars
3.) Played in a band
4.) Visited Hawaii
5.) Watched a meteor shower
6.) Given more than you can afford to charity
7.) Been to DisneyWorld
8.) Climbed a mountain
9.) Held a praying mantis
10.) Sang a solo
11.) Bunjee jumped
12.) Visited Paris
13.) Watched a lightning storm
14.) Taught yourself an art from scratch
15.) Adopted a child(I adopted a child in africa to support financially...does that count???)
16.) Had food poisoning
17.) Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18.) Grown your own veggies
19.) Seen the Mona Lisa at the Louvre
20.) Slept on an overnight train
21.) Had a pillowfight
22.) Hitch hiked
23.) Taken a sick day when you’re not sick
24.) Made a snow fort
25.) Held a lamb
26.) Ran a marathon
27.) Went skinny dipping
28.) Rode in a gondola in Venice
29.) Witnessed total eclipse
30.) Seen a sunrise or sunset
31.) Hit a home run
32.) Been on a cruise
33.) Seen Niagara Falls in person
34.) Visited the birthplace/home of your ancestors
35.) Seen an Amish country
36.) Taught yourself a new language
37.) Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38.) Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39.) Gone rock climbing
40.) Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41.) Sung karaoke
42.) Seen Old Faithful erupt
43.) Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44.) Visited Africa
45.) Walked on a beach by moonlight
46.) Taken a ride in an ambulance
47.) Had your portrait painted
48.) Gone deep sea fishing
49.) Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower
50.) Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
51.) kissed in the rain
52.) played in the mud
53.) Gone to a drive-in theater
54.) Been in a movie
55.) visited the Great Wall of China
56.) Started a business(does my roaring hotdog and fudge business i had in school count?)
57.) Taken a martial arts class
58.) visited Russia
59.) worked at a soup kitchen
60.) sold Girl Scout cookies
61.) gone whale watching
62.) gotten flowers for no reason
63.) donated blood, platelets, or plasma
64.) Gone sky diving
65.) Visited Nazi concentration camp
66.) Bounced a check
67.) Flown in a helicopter
68.) Saved a childhood toy
69.) visited the Lincoln Memorial
70.) eaten caviar
71.) pieced a quilt
72.) stood in Times Square
73.) toured the Everglades
74.) been fired from a job
75.) seen the changing of the guards in London
76.) Broken a bone
77.) Been a passenger on a motorcycle
78.) seen the Grand Canyon in person
79.) Published a book
80.) Visited the Vatican
81.) bought a brand new car
82.) visited Jerusalem
83.) had your picture in the paper
84.) Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
85.) visited the White House
86.) Killed and prepared an animal for eating
87.) Had chickenpox
88.) Saved someone’s life
89.) Sat on a jury
90.) met someone famous
91.) joined a book club
92.) got a tattoo
93.) had a baby
94.) Seen the Alamo in person
95.) Swam in the Great Salt Lake
96.) Been involved in a law suit
97.) owned a cell phone
98.) Been stung by a bee
99.) Swam in the Black Sea

47 and 2 maybe's out of 99...not too bad me thinks:) So much more in life that i want to accomplish, and most of them aren't even on this list. I can't wait to see what the future holds:)

Love
Ruby
XXXXX

Dear future prince charming

2010-03-16T12:42:00.000-07:00

I hope this letter finds you well and also well on your way to me *nudge nudge wink wink*. It's just a little bit of guideline for that point in time when you finally do pitch up. I'm by no means perfect and like everybody else around me i have my good points, my strengths, my weaknesses and my issues. But I'd like to believe that I'm generally a good and caring person. Here are a couple things i'd like you to remember and take into consideration:

1. I'm a very affectionate person...I hope this won't be a problem (PDA and stuff)
2. Dancing is my happy place:) I don't expect you to love dancing, but it would help:)
3. I hate peas! Don't try to make me eat them, don't chew them in my ear so i can hear them
popping
4. One of my best friends happen to be a boy person and i love him very much. Accept this
and deal with it...my friendship with him is not up for discussion.
5. I have an irrational fear of spiders. Please note....irrational. Don't try and convince me that
they can't hurt me, or that I weigh more than them, or that i'm like a million times bigger
than them...also, laughing at me when i freak out doesn't help. Just be my knight in
shining armor....kill it, give me a hug and a kiss and move on.
6. Being a very affectionate person means i'm also affectionate with my friends, and i tend to
have little nicknames for everyone....extreme jealousy is better left at the door....slight, none
overbearing jealousy that you can fully control is sweet tho
7. I don't believe in the silent treatment...issues need to be dealt with as and when they arise
8. I cry when i get really really angry...pls don't think i'm trying to break down your defences
or black mail you when this happens.
9. Looks can be deceiving....i love camping...like serious pitch a tent and sleeping bag type stuff
10. My studies are important to me...not more important than you, but i am passionate about
what i do, and i'd appreciate it if you respected that.
11. I'm very close to my parents and my brother, and generally family means the world to me
12. My faith is an important part of who I am and i'm not willing to compromise it
13. I love cuddling and snuggling...i hope this is acceptable
14. Music forms an important part of my day to day life. It has a tremendous effect on my mood
and my day to day life. Important people and things in my life seem to be marked by songs
rather than anything else.
15. My heart is well guarded, and initially you might have trouble getting in......the walls around
it is quite high, but when i do fall in love i do so unconditionally and passionately.

My intention is not to scare you away or make you think twice, but the way i see it.....if you're going to be part of my life there are certain things I might as well let you know before hand. If you can't see yourself coping with them, then maybe you're not my Prince Charming after all.

I can't wait to meet you:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Big Brother

2010-03-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

The last couple of days I've been missing you so much..so much more than I normally do. True, i haven't seen you in ages, but this is different...i painfully miss you.

I need to talk to you face to face, this skype, IM and e-mail nonsense just doesn't cut it anymore. I need a hug, actually, i need plenty of hugs and a kiss on the forehead. I can't wait to see you again. I hope the two of you and Charlie, the dog, are well and that love and happiness rules everyday.

I love you
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Jessica

2010-03-07T09:59:00.000-08:00

I saw this little gem on your blog not so long ago and I thought I'd give it a bash too:) It's called 102 random facts, and it'll probably take me forever to do...but i might as well start somewhere:)

1. I have weirdly coloured eyes, consisting of 2 different shades of green and brown
2. I have more scars than most of the boy people i know
3. I'm surrounded by a 'force field of weird' ...weird things happen to and around me
4. Last year my feet got burnt by acid due to the fact that new shoes i bought were laced with
acidic powder...i suffered...a lot....
5. The first time i flew was when i went to my brother's wedding in the states
6. Dancing, music, singing and acting puts me in my happy place
7. I love salsa
8. Even though i hate pictures being taken of me, I love pictures and i have a small fortune
of them
9. My taste in music is widespread and weird, and i mostly like non-commercial music
10. My head is filled with general knowledge and random facts
11. I'm a really really really bad liar
12. As it turns out the meaning of my name fits my personality perfectly...my dad chose well
13. I have a nickname for both my boy best friend and my girl best friend and i rarely
call them by their real names
14. I use terms of endearment when addressing people, this often gets me into trouble
15. I don't trust easily
16. Very few people have experienced the deep inner parts of my heart and personality
17. I'm good with teenagers....especially the difficult ones
18. Apart from black, which isn't really a colour,my favourite colours are olive green, orange and
dark red wine red
19. My birthstone is a Ruby
20. I was named dux learner in both primary and high school...
21. I obtained both my degrees cum laude
22. I'm remarkably resilient
23. I'm very much a 'touch' person
24. I gesture a lot with my hands when I'm talking
25. I get frustrated when typing a story on the laptop cause i can't use my hands to explain
to the person reading the e-mail or skype message exactly how serious it is
26. A very close friend gave me a diamond and 18ct white gold bracelet for my birthday. and no,
he didn't want anything from me...he's gay:)
27. I love camping
28. That being said, i also love luxury
29. I love love love love love love reading
30. I don't fall in love easily
31. I'm very much a mind over matter person
32. I'm mostly extremely practical
33. I'm afraid of heights
34. I'm petrified of spiders...but i think most of you know this already:)
35. I love shoes.... :)
36. I love shopping for baby clothes and shoes..just ask my friends who have babies
37. I'm easily bored by people
38. I broke my arm when i was 5 because my mom drove over it...it was an accident, i fell
in front of the car...my mom was hysterical, i thought the little blood patterns on my arm
made by the wheel was awesome
39. My right big toe is slightly smaller than the left because they had to cut a piece of it out
when i was in high school
40. I love picnics
41. I love Dr. Pepper soft drink
42. I totally adore M&M's
43. I have a thing about stationary
44. I believe that post-its is the greatest invention ever
45. I'm slightly allergic to yeast, so i eat very little bread
46. I touch type
47. I'm the eternal optimist
48. Generally I'm way too hard on myself and i find it hard to give myself a break
49. I write short stories and poetry
50. I was a USN and SAB promo girl when i was a student
51. I organised two proper rock concerts while I was at uni and considered become an events
manager or band manager or concert manager because of it
52. I was once told that I'd probably be the 1st female president of our country*snort*
53. I talk....a LOT!
54. I have naturally long and very black eyelashes
55. I'm super calm in times of crises and only freak out after every thing's been taken care of
56. Lemon sorbet is my favourite
57. I generally get a 'feeling' about people when i meet them...99% of the time that feeling
is spot on
58. I have a severe and incurable case of foot in mouth disease...I've learned to live with this
59. In May my parents will celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary...they are still very much
in love and totally adorable
60. I believe that if i can be half as happy in my marriage as my parents, my husband and I'll
be superly happily married
61. I see the good in people around me and find it hard to believe that not all people are good
62. People take advantage of me because of 61
63. I once broke into a barn, with a boy, on a farm where we were having a party and almost
crashed the tractor....we didn't get caught
64. I'm won over by small gestures and gifts rather than extravagance
65. I love my iPhone :)
66. I haven't met my prince charming yet
67. I'm extremely flexible
68. I love earrings ;)
69. I have a t-shirt that says '68' on the front and 'you owe me 1' on the back
70. I'm currently doing my masters degree in forensic accounting.....because i love solving
puzzles and i can't wait to outsmart all those really clever white-collar criminals
71. I'm blessed enough to have an amazing relationship with both my parents
72. I'm slightly ADD
73. When i was younger i was extremely OCD...these days I'm much better and i only have
slight OCD tendencies
74. A guy once hit me in the face with his fist....it was an accident...2 boys were fighting and i
stupidly tried to stop them...i was 16
75. My dad nearly killed both of the above mentioned boys
76. I've broken my nose more than once
77. I'm a complete insomniac
78. I was born on the 7th of the 7th :)
79. I was offered a contract as a photographic model when i went to pick up my portfolio pics
i had taken for fun
80. I've been withing 5m of a fully grown crocodile out in the wild...nothing between us
81. I have very tiny hands with longish fingers
82. I love doing pilates
83. I have this thing for fire
84. I'm scared to death of the dentist
85. I'm not really all that fond of doctors either
86. I love swords and knives, and i hope to one day own a proper samurai sword
87. I really love teaching people things if they are willing to learn
88. My uni lecturers told me i didn't have the lack of personality for the course I'm studying
89. I love wine
90. My favourite shooter is Patrone!
91. I make memory books
92. I have a little memory box in my head for each of the people who are very important to me.
In there i store all my favourite memories of them
93. I can't stand liars and lies
94. I'm not a jealous person
95. A friend of mine hanged himself earlier this year, sort of at my house...for a while there i
didn't think i was gonna cope
96. I suspect i may be addicted to Philadelphia cheese
97. I suffer from extreme tension headaches on a daily basis due to the damage caused to my
spine when i had my car accident
98. I HATE peas.....like honestly i hate them!
99. I have weak lungs and have a tendency to develop bronchitis within minutes
100. I'm considering going skydiving
101. After my friend died in a bungee jumping accident last year I'll never even consider it
102. I can't believe i got to 102 without frying my brain:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Vo-duh-com

2010-03-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

*sigh* I don't even know where to begin with this letter. I'm so frustrated, and irritated and actually just completely ticked off with you guys.

At the end of January, you guys deducted more than double what my bill would have been from my account. When i queried it i was placated with some obscure story, which I accepted for the pure and simple reason that i wanted to keep my sanity. After speaking to a multitude of people at customer care who all insisted that this was MY problem and that I should sort it out despite it being YOUR mistake.

Then, at the end of last month you guys had the cheek to deduct an even BIGGER amount off my account. I had a teeny tiny little heart attack! I spoke to 3 different people working in your customer care department, each one being more stupid than the last. I finally snapped. I told the 4th girl that answered that i do not want to speak to her, i want to speak to a manager. She wouldn't budge, and had the audacity to call me rude, blegh, but she finally put me through to a manager after i asked her if she really wanted to take responsibility for this problem.

Now, i have 2 different accounts with you guys. The one is a 3G data card contract. I pay a fixed amount every month for a certain amount of data and then i pay a special rate for any extra data i use. The second is my iPhone contract. These two contracts are completely separate...2 different invoices, 2 different sim cards, 2 different pin numbers. The only place they become integrated is with my debit order, as I've arranged to have only one debit order for both accounts. My accounts with vodacom have been running this way for the past 2 years without any problems.

According to what your manager told me.....my 3G sim card has been inactive the last 3 months. Complete rubbish as i use it every day. So what happens is, not only do i pay my standard contract amount for my 3G, which i according to you don't use, you then take the full amount of data used on that sim card and charge it as out of bundle rate data on my iPhone!!!! So i pay the contract amount for nothing and you charge me ridiculous rates for data i used on a different sim card???? The really ridiculous part is that you've been sending sms' to my data card sim card to tell me how much of my data bundle I've used, and you've been sending sms' to my iPhone to tell me how much of my iPhone data bundle I've used, neither of which have been exceeded.

So when i instructed the manager to make sure that the problem gets fixed, he tells me that in order to sort it out they'll need to perform a data audit of some kind. But there is a catch....there is a charge involved...which I'll have to pay...so let me get this straight. You guys messed up royally and I have to pay for you to fix it? You guys already owe me a crapload of money!

So please, just fix the problem. I hate having to always fight with people. You'd think that if you were nice to people they'd at least try to help you, but no, as it turns out you need to be rude in order to get people to do what's right. It sucks.

Please take note that i will not be letting this go. I expect this problem to be sorted out, and soon. No more nice Ruby...i can play hard ball too you know.

Regards

Angry Ruby

Dear 2010

2010-03-01T06:17:00.000-08:00

Let's face it...my year got off to a pretty rocky start. But looking at it as a whole, it hasn't been a bad year, or should i say, a bad 2 months. I've learned a lot, I've grown, I've met new people, I've done new things....all in all...not bad at all.

So here is a list of what I've learned so far:
- Life doesn't always work out the way we plan it..but when you make the best of what you've
got, life can be pretty awesome ;)
- some goodbye's are more painful than others
- I'm a lot stronger than i give myself credit for.....
- Tears aren't always a bad thing...sometimes they are crucial to the healing process
- i know a lot of amazing people who supported me more than could humanely be expected
of them in a time where i thought my world was crashing down around me
- Saying goodbye properly is important
- seeing a dead person is not a pleasant experience....ever...I'll be avoiding that in the future
- tell the people you love that you love them as often as possible...it's important
- Friends can be found in the most unlikely places
- sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on
- don't be so scared of getting hurt that you don't let people into your most deepest of heart
places. You miss a lot of life experiences this way
- Best friends are the shit! #thatisall
- our capacity to love never ceases to amaze me
- it's ok to not be strong sometimes....that's what friends are for
- I have an incredible boss...and no, he doesn't read my blog, so I'm NOT trying to score
points here
- Sometimes dressing up pretty and getting a compliment can light up your life
- Learning to accept a heartfelt and honest compliment is a lesson everybody should learn
and apply
- surround yourself with the people that make you happy and excited about life
- Live passionately
- Most importantly i think I've learned that i have a pretty amazing life, with really awesome
friends and an even more incredible family....life is good :)

I look forward to the rest of the year. The things I'm gonna do and the people I'm gonna meet. *lifts glass* so here's to you 2010....now go and be fabulous!

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Dear American boy

2010-02-23T12:39:00.000-08:00

So as it turns out your brother was more right than either of us expected. He always said that he wished we could meet cause we'd get along awesomely......and thanks to a series of unfortunate events we were able to prove him right, we got along better than even he could have imagined.

You are one of the most incredible people i've ever had the priveledge of meeting. Your zest for life, your passion for the people and the things around you...it was an incredible experience to see the world through your eyes.

But eventually you had to go back, and i'm going to miss you more than i expected. You've become a very good friend, and you'll be missed. Thank goodness for lots of pictures fond memories, e-mail and skype:)

Love

Ruby

Dear Being Brazen

2010-02-23T12:11:00.000-08:00

As always, my current addictions posts are addressed to you, as you were the inspiration behind them. So here follows a little bit of who i am and what makes me tick:) At the moment there are a couple of things in life that i feel i can't live without. They are as follows:

1. My incredibly awesome and super cute new handbag.....I love it!

2. Annique Rescue essence
This is one of the most amazing products ever invented!!!! It can be used for headaches,
insect bites, cuts, sinus, hay fever, rashes, skin irritations and muscle pain

3. My new phone....still:)
I wasn't kidding when i said if my iPhone was a boy person I'd marry it :)

4. Salsa
I don't think i need to explain this one :) It's my happy thing...:)

Hope this gives you a little insight into my life:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxxxxx

Dear Krimpvarkiez

2010-02-10T02:59:00.001-08:00

I'm so sorry that I'm only coming back to you now...it's been a crazy couple of days. But I'm finally getting around to posting the recipe of my Monday night feast:) I made pasta with Philadelphia cheese sauce, peppadews, bacon and red onion....it was absolutely divine, so I'm going to share the recipe of the sauce with you. The pasta part is easy, just boil the pasta until el dente:)

Philadelphia cheese sauce with peppadew, bacon and red onion:
Ingredients:
- 3/4 block of Philadelphia cheese
- +/- 40ml Milk
- 2TBS Butter
- hand full of chopped peppadews
- bacon(as much as you want)
- Red onions(chopped, as much as you want)

Method:
- Cut the cheese into smaller pieces and put it on a low heat in a saucepan adding the milk
and butter.
- Keep stirring until the butter and the cheese have melted, but keep the heat very low,
otherwise it will burn. Add more milk depending on the thickness of sauce you require
- When the sauce is ready, add the chopped peppadew, the cooked bacon and onion, stir
- Add pasta

And Voila! Pasta with Philadelphia cheese sauce, peppadew, bacon and red onion. it's the easiest most divine meal ever. You can also, after having mixed everything add a tad of Parmesan and Tabasco....so yummy!

Love

Ruby
xxxxxx

Dear Mister Bossman

2010-02-05T00:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know i was late for work this morning, I also realise that you probably won't believe me, but allow me the opportunity to at least try and explain to you why i was late.

This morning on my way to work I was pulled over by a police officer. I very HOT police officer. I was all ready with my license and an argument cause i KNEW i hadn't done anything wrong. Anyway, so he walked up to my window, told me to put away my license and asked if he could have my telephone number.

Yes, i realise you're probably thinking...'WTF', and i won't lie, that's pretty much what was running through my mind at the time. I, of course, refused, which led to him standing by my window for 10mins trying to convince me to give him my number.

Finally, after 10mins, he allowed me to leave and carry on my merry way towards work. Now, i realise that this story sounds weird and odd and completely untrue, but think about it this way.....if i wanted to lie about it, don't you think i would have come up with something slightly more believable? I mean, this is too ridiculous not to be the truth. Also, we're both aware of the fact that I'm a terrible liar:)

Regards

Ruby

Dear Paul

2010-01-28T03:24:00.000-08:00

It's been just over 2 weeks since i had to say goodbye, just over 2 weeks since i saw your deathly pale face, just over 2 weeks since i had to cut myself off from emotions in order to focus on the important people...it's been just over 2 weeks and i still have to wipe away a tear when i think of you.

Too soon you left us. Too soon the dark abyss of reality had taken you away from us. Sometimes i forget, and i get excited at the prospect of seeing your smiling face when i get home, only to be greeted by mournful reality....I'll never have the pleasure of seeing that big smile again, ever. To hear you laugh that carefree laugh you sometimes had. It's over, a chapter of my life is done.

I'll never forget the shocked expression on your mom's face when she stormed towards us pleading with us to help her. She found you, hanging there like that. I'll never forget the sight, and yet, it's almost as if the picture i conjure up of that moment is emotionless. You were there no longer....your spirit gone, and therefore you were gone too.

I think a lot of people had trouble understanding why you did what you did. But after much thought and tears and reading, I've come to the conclusion that you didn't kill yourself, you died of a disease called Bipolar disorder. You didn't choose to have that deepest of darkness inside of you, and you could no more ignore it than i could stop breathing just because i wanted to.

That Tuesday night was one of the darkest nights I've ever had. Sitting in my little cottage, knowing that you were no longer alive and well, knowing that you died not 30m away from my home, haunted by the image of you hanging there...your feet only 10cm from the ground. I think the fact that it had happened at my house...my safe place....my 'den', was more disturbing to me than the fact that you had died. I didn't want to be at home, i didn't want to think, and at some point in the night, i just didn't want to be.

You'll be happy to know that I have an amazing bunch of friends. Their love and support and hugs(both in real life and cyber space) kept me going. There were people who stayed awake with me through most of Tuesday night, chatting to me, just so that i wouldn't be alone with the grief and the trauma. There were a few of them that totally went the extra mile, and for that I am eternally grateful. It's not often that I'm at a low point in life, but that night, the night you died, i was.

You always said that i was like bubbles, always needing to go up...i just can't help it. And once again you were proven right. Be Wednesday afternoon i couldn't help but have little bouts of happiness and smiles intermingled with the sadness and loss. And i know that you would have wanted it that way. You never wanted us to be sad.

On Saturday it would be 2 weeks since your funeral. And strange as it may sound...you would have loved your funeral. As funerals go it was pretty awesome. The Pastor never once avoided the fact that you committed suicide, instead he used that as his focus point. We sang happy songs and celebrated your life, rather than mourning your death. There were few tears and lots of happy stories told by all who held you dear. Your brother from the US made it just in time, and you were proven right again...we do get along like a house on fire. And as i went home afterwards, you'd never guess what i saw. One of the bunnies, that you had spent hours chasing around the garden and trying to feed and tame was sitting outside your front door in the sun, trying to dry off from the rain. It didn't bolt when i went closer...it just sat there, in the very spot where you so patiently sat trying to catch it. It made me smile.

I miss you my dear dear friend, but i know that you are now in a much happier place, where the darkness of a disease you couldn't control can't find you. I pray that your soul has found rest and that you are resting in the arms of our Father. Until we meet again one day, rest in peace.

Love

Ruby
xxxxxx

Dear readers

2010-01-15T01:41:00.000-08:00

My word! What a week this has been. So much sadness and drama and tears. I think I can easily say that most of this week would fall into the "top 5 worst weeks ever" category. I am working on a letter about the happenings this week, but it's not done yet. A lot of tears and brokenness comes pouring out.....so it's taking a bit long. But writing is good for me. It's helping me to make sense of it all, and to process what happened.

So in the meantime I'd like to tell you about a song i recently heard that really touched my heart. On Monday night i was chatting to a friend of mine, and he was telling me about the death of an ex-colleague, and how sad this made him. (That funeral is today btw....I'm thinking of you love) And then he sent me a song and asked me to listen to it and share my thoughts. I was so touched by it that i ended up finding the lyrics.

Terry's song
Well they built the Titanic to be one of a kind, but many ships have ruled the seas
They built the Eiffel Tower to stand alone, but they could build another if they please
Taj Mahal, the pyramids of Egypt, are unique I suppose
But when they built you, brother, they broke the mold

Now the world is filled with many wonders under the passing sun
And sometimes something comes along and you know it's for sure the only one
The Mona Lisa, the David, the Sistine Chapel, Jesus, Mary, and Joe
And when they built you, brother, they broke the mold

When they built you, brother, they turned dust into gold
When they built you, brother, they broke the mold

They say you can't take it with you, but I think that they're wrong
'Cause all i Know is I woke up this morning, and something big was gone
Gone into that dark ether where you're still young and hard and cold
Just like when they built you, brother, they broke the mold

Now your death is upon us and we'll return your ashes to the earth
And i know you'll take comfort in knowing you've been roundly blessed and cursed
But love is a power greater than death, just like the songs and stories told
and when she built you, brother, she broke the mold

That attitude's a power stronger than death, alive and burning her stone cold
When they built you, brother

How incredibly powerful is that???? We ended up having this whole discussion about leaving your mark and being so unique in who you are that there is truly no one like you. It was kind of ironic, having this discussion on Monday and then having my own drama with death on Tuesday.

Anyway, i just thought I'd give you guys some food for thought. I hope one day when I'm no longer around, I would have lived my life in such a way that people will remember me and say that i was one of a kind, the mold was broken after I was made.....a limited edition.

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

Dear big bro

2010-01-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday!!!!! I hope you have the most amazing of days, filled with love and joy and happiness and blessings and that there will be much spoiling going on! *looks pointedly at yankee sis in law*.

I can't believe you're turning 30 already! Just the other day we were little snot nosed kids running around our tiny little town, causing havoc and hearts to melt all at the same time. Wow...seems like i might actually have to start thinking of you as a grown up at some point.

Today i miss you more than normal and i wish you were here so i could give you a hug and a kiss and just hold you close. It always amazes me to think that we could be shouting and fighting one minute but the moment one of us are in trouble we stand together, defiant, ready to take on the whole world armed with only our fingernails for each other. You are my big brother, the protector of my honor, my mentor, my roll model, my friend, part of my happy place, my partner in crime and a very important part of who I am today.

I pray that you will always be safe in the land far away, and that the years ahead will be filled blessings, adventures, love, happiness, stories and things we can't even begin to imagine.....oh, and hopefully some nieces and nephews for me *grin*. I can't help but shed a tear...I miss you more than i thought i ever would and i hope to see you soon. Happy birthday boetie!

Love
Ruby
xxxxxxxx

Dear people of Zim

2010-01-11T11:08:00.000-08:00

I was recently fortunate enough to undertake a short trip to the most popular tourist attraction in your country, the Victoria falls. I find it difficult to put my impressions thereof into words, so I'll stick to: 'OH MY WORD!!!!!!'

We were super excited when we boarded the little One Time airplane at OR Thambo early on the morning of the 1st....destination: Livingstone, Zambia. The flight was uneventful right until the pilot announced that Victoria Falls will soon be visible through the window. It was a breathtaking and heart stopping moment that i will never forget. So beautiful!!!

We were met at Livingstone airport by Victor, a man that impressed immensely. Well educated, witty and with a love of his country that is clearly visible in everything he does. We were taken by bus through the Zambian and Zimbabwean borders and finally to our beautiful hotel, The Victoria Falls Hotel. One of the top hotels on the Zimbabwe side of the falls...old school, colonial, breathtaking and with amazing service. I can honestly say that we were treated like royalty throughout our stay. Never in my life had i met such amazing hotel staff.

We went on the sunset cruise. WOW WOW WOW!!!! it's like a 3 hour cruise on the Zambezi as the sun is setting. What incredible views. We were treated to free drink (as much as we wanted....score) and hippos and crocodiles and just all the breathtaking things that completes the Zambezi experience.

The next day I went on a 2hour hike along the falls. The mist created by the falls is so heavy in some places that it literally felt like we were caught in a hectic rain storm without any clouds. At the end of the 2 hours i was absolutely soaking wet....but we got the most awesome pictures and just got to stand there and take in the awesomeness that is the Falls:)

Shortly after that we were treated to a helicopter ride over the falls. I was fortunate enough to be able to sit in front next to the pilot, which meant that i had the best view! I have no words to describe what i saw and how it made me feel. The pictures seem so inadequate when i look at them now.

Then in the afternoon we had a real treat! We went on an Elephant safari...as in we actually rode the elephant's through the game park in search of other wild animals. I got to bond with this majestic animal in a way i never thought I'd experience:)

I received numerous wedding proposals and my father was offered everything from diamonds to cattle to some weird muti business in Zim for my hand in marriage..but my general impression of the people of northern Zim was one of pride, of integrity, hope, happiness and an appreciation for other people. I was honestly impressed and warmed:)

thank you so much for an amazing couple of days:) Attached please find a couple of snap shots from the trip. I took over 700 pics, so it was really hard to choose, but i can't send all 700+ :)

I hope to visit you again soon

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

p.s. I've never seen so many rainbows in one place in my entire life!

P.P.S. I really wish i could post more pics.....it was tough choosing only a couple!

Dear 2009

2009-12-30T11:33:00.000-08:00

My my my...what a year this has been. Full of ups and downs, happies and sads....an all round good year:) I've decided to end my year saying: 'I'm tracing the outlines of 2009 and liking the picture I see'.

I've decided to dedicate this post to everything that happened this year, both good and bad...as all these things played a roll in who I am today:)

2009 will be etched into my memory for the following reasons:

I started my Masters degree in Forensic Auditing. I won't lie, it's been hectic. Working and studying full time while trying to remain a social butterfly is no joke...but somehow, with much insomnia, much coffee, lots of love and no sleep I managed to pass the first half with flying colours. I did well, and I can honestly say I'm proud of myself.
I sold my little noenoe who has been my companion since I started driving after the accident
Bought my gorgeous new baby.......*happy in love sigh*
Paid off my study loan
Got caught in the middle of a shootout between police and some idiots while driving home after watching District 9
District 9
My feet got burnt by acidic powder that was inside a pair of sexy shoes I bought. I was miserable and the burns were insane. But i'm happy to report that my feet have now fully recovered. The rather exclusive shop was quite shocked and refunded me for the shoes, they also paid my medical bills at the end of the day.
Almost got ran off the road by a cop cause he was on his cell phone
Mrs Reindeer passed away.....she paid such an important part in my life for so many years...it is with great sadness and fondness that i remember this part of 2009
We discovered a really disturbing murial in our local Panarotti's
My chamber got married...yay!!!!
I tried my best to have weekends away as often as possible....even when I'm practically dying of Bronchitis
My dear, dear friend AK's little girl was born. What an awesome little girl...such a blessing!
The sad and interesting journey through my dear gran's life when we had to help her pack up all her stuff. I still carry the little coin with me:)
For the first time i can truly say I've forgiven the guy who crashed into me 4 years ago. It's been a long journey.
erm......I sprayed myself with pepperspray for the second time.....*sigh*
I lost 11kg without dieting or putting myself through hell and i fit into clothes i haven't been able to wear for ages....yay me!
I joined twitter....it changed my life:)
I started doing Salsa and fell completely in love with it:)
I decided it was OK to make mistakes and to not be so hard on myself
Another very special person died #sadness
I managed to give myself consussion on a ride at gold reef city...*sigh*...I swear, only me!
An aircon just fell out of the wall and only just missed me while i was working
My stalker started following me around in a car without a license plate.
I met a bunch of really incredible people this year - thanx guys...your friendship is greatly appreciated
I had to say goodbye to friends...this is never easy
I realised it is possible for someone to be significant in your life even if you don't know them very well.
Baby Nicola was born:)
I came to the realisation that there are people, other than my family, who really really care about me, who are willing to fight for me. I'm truly amazed and humbled by this. *much affection*
Spiritually I grew so much....:)

In many ways, it's been a very tough year, but it has also been a good year. I'm happy, I'm content, I'm fulfilled....I'm me:)

Thank you so much to everybody who has been a part of my life this year. You have made it special and worth remembering. And i truly hope that you will continue to play a role in my life in the year to come. What does 2010 hold....I have no idea. But what I do know is that i'm excitedly looking forward to it. I love my life, and i plan to continue loving it and building it and celebrating it in the year to come.

Lots of love
Ruby
xxxx

P.S. Here's a couple of snapshots from 2009 :) Oh! and feel free to add any significant things that happened in 2009 that i might have missed:)

Happy and blessed 2010 my beautiful, special people!!!!! *hugs and kisses*

Dear Bro & Sis-in-law

2009-12-24T15:36:00.000-08:00

Tonight you guys made me cry.....a lot...for a number of reasons. Firstly I was crying out of sheer emotion and joy at the gift you had given me for Christmas, it was truly thoughtful, and was the action that set the other reasons for the good cry I just had into motion....but more on that later.

Secondly I cried because I really, really miss you.....both of you! I haven't seen you in almost two years and because we have always been close as brother and sister this breaks my heart. But it's a bit hard with you guys living in the states. Christmas has always been family time for us. Everybody gets together, spending time to catch up, talk nonsense, cook together, eat together and generally to share love and happiness for each other. But you're not here...there is a bit of a hole in my happiness.

Actually, i think my second reason for crying and all the emotions that went along with missing you describes the majority of why i just spent the last half an hour writing you an e-mail, drying off tears and grinning stupidly....I love, and I miss you so much!

Anyhoodle, on to the gift. This year, you decided to be a little different. Giving each other gifts when we are thousands of km apart is never an easy feat. So this year you decided to be slightly different. You made a donation to 'World Vision' on my behalf. So this evening when I opened my mail, this is what awaited me....or a part of it anyway...you really don't need to see the part where they tell me how much they love and miss me...we already know that part:

"A gift of five ducks has been given in your honor
Thought you might like a few adorable little ducks for Christmas this year! I bet none of your friends got the same thing ;-)"

It probably sounds silly, but i burst into tears. Thank you so much! What an incredible gift. Donating ducks to a family who hasn't got any food or any form of livelihood. My heart feels all warm and fuzzy and happy.

May you and the yankee part of your family have an amazingly blessed Christmas. I miss you and I love you both so incredibly much!

Love

RubyWith my bro at his wedding:)

With my sis in law

Letters.....

Dear Blogger

Dear readers

Dear 2011

Dear 2010

Ruby's secrets

Dear life

Dear Claudz

Dear Ruby

My dearest brother and sister-in-law

Dear Readers

Dear stranger in the night

Dear Matrics of 2000

Dear old schoolfriend

Dear Miss Molly

Ruby's secrets

Dear readers

Dear Employer

Dear Ghost of weekend past

Dear residents of 119

Dear Being Brazen

Ruby's secrets

Dear readers

Dear landlord

Dear Sussie

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Dear Cape town

Dear Drunk Driver

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Dear *insert name of well known medium sized jozi auditing firm*

Dear Ghost of weekend past

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Dear 30 seconds to Mars

Dear Ghost of weekend past

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Dear female slave

Dear Readers

Dear Angel and Neels

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Dear Ruby

Dear Ruby

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My heart

Dear readers

Dear Readers

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Dear Baby Cuz

On being disappointed in yourself

Dear readers

Dear Postsecret

Dear Ruby

Dear Girls

Dear Mister Bossman

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Dear Readers

Dear sexy date friend

Dear number 19

Dear Muso

Dear Chamber

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Dear future prince charming

Dear Big Brother

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Dear 2010

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Dear Krimpvarkiez

Dear Mister Bossman

Dear Paul

Dear readers

Dear big bro

Dear insert name of well known medium sized jozi auditing firm